Why all the confusion in dating women

[BadBoy89]

For a man to get hot women, the proof of concept is basically

- get in shape
- dress well
- get educated
- make money
- join things
- be pleasant to talk to, etc.

Generally, if a man does these things, he will get the hot women he wants. The only things that have proof of concept in getting women that a man cant naturally change is height and hair.

So why all the confusion and frustration for men in dating women? Is it a man trying to overcompensate in the other areas for a lack of his height / hair? Even if a man has a good amount of one of the two (height or hair), anything else that makes a man lack success in dating women can be contributed to laziness, can it not?

Or is it that men have been brainwashed by media and Disney to be scared of having sex with women and must treat them with utmost respect and value them more than anything?

Thoughts?

 

[BaronOfHair]

So why all the confusion and frustration for men in dating women?

We're saturated in education on a wide variety of subjects(dating and mating included)

Economist Bryan Caplan thinks education is mostly pointless showing off. We test the strength of his case.

The Case Against Education's claim is striking: education doesn’t teach people much, we use little of what we learn, and college is mostly about trying to seem smarter than other people - so the government should slash education funding.

80000hours.org

Yet 90% of what we kinda sorta learn is highly impractical out in the wild, and frequently less factual than it appears at first glance. Babbling about Red Pills, and spending one's every waking moment on hunting for "proof" that we live in not a Patriarchy, but a Gynocracy does less to strengthen one's social acumen than Intro To Calculus does to prepare 98% of HS students for the work force

 

[Gamisch]

Because literary everything you've mentioned can take up to an entire lifetime to master ,thus most men won't master even ONE of those ,let alone all of them.

And the " confusion"hapl3nd because most men are not at peace with the fact that they sometimes need to take a couple of steps back before they can reengage in the game. And that does bring confusion, frustration ect. Because what will happen is a man like that will deal with women with lukewarm interest.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Anything else that makes a man lack success in dating women can be contributed to laziness, can it not?

Yes. Occams Razor

 

[The Duke]

For a man to get hot women, the proof of concept is basically

- get in shape
- dress well
- get educated
- make money
- join things
- be pleasant to talk to, etc.

Generally, if a man does these things, he will get the hot women he wants. The only things that have proof of concept in getting women that a man cant naturally change is height and hair.

So why all the confusion and frustration for men in dating women? Is it a man trying to overcompensate in the other areas for a lack of his height / hair? Even if a man has a good amount of one of the two (height or hair), anything else that makes a man lack success in dating women can be contributed to laziness, can it not?

Or is it that men have been brainwashed by media and Disney to be scared of having sex with women and must treat them with utmost respect and value them more than anything?

Thoughts?

For the guy that gets girls through social circles, its a lot easier and a more forgiving environment. She has time to figure out who you are and references to consult. But the guy who gets girls from bars/clubs/dating apps, he needs better social skills and greater awareness because things like his money, education, and what he is a member of aren't always apparent like they are in social circles.

I also think a lot of guys don't understand women very well and don't know the do's and dont's of first dates. There are so many clueless guys out there. Ask a single female about her first date stories some time.

I know several guys that have all of the 6 characteristics that don't get "hot" women. Some lack confidence, some lack awareness, some aren't flexible, some over value themselves.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Because literary everything you've mentioned can take up to an entire lifetime to master ,thus most men won't master even ONE of those ,let alone all of them.

And the " confusion"hapl3nd because most men are not at peace with the fact that they sometimes need to take a couple of steps back before they can reengage in the game. And that does bring confusion, frustration ect. Because what will happen is a man like that will deal with women with lukewarm interest.

Not the case for teenaged broccoli heads and some males i grew up with, who didn’t have to grind and improve for ten to 20 years to get female attention.

 

[viking22]

I don't think this is really true.

Gaining entry to exclusive social circles full of hot girls and getting invited to private parties isn't easy and requires more than your list. Either you need to be popular or cool or have attributes that give you a halo such as wealth, fame, beauty etc.

On dating apps ticking off your list just gets you mids.

Bars/clubs game comes into play a bit more and if you have charm, confidence and can brush off rejection then you can occasionally get hot women. But again charm and confidence aren't easy to develop and to some extent are innate.

Cultivating some sociable hobbies (e.g. running clubs, social dancing, volunteering etc) is probably a regular guys best shot of getting an attractive girlfriend. But it is very much a long game. So if you don't enjoy the activity or you are not naturally outgoing it will wear you down and a lot of guys in the community are introverted or shy by nature.