"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Who's right - me or my friends?

The Comeback Kid

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Alright so there's this HB8 I see in school on the last day. I don't really "like" anyone at the moment (although she can be a future possibility ;) ), so I'm just chillin'. However, I do have a pool at my house (girls like pools...or so I hope). I was considering suggesting (in a cool way) she can come over sometime and go in the pool (worse case, I'd just IM her later). Well, she was with a bunch of her friends, something I've been burned by before, so I wasn't exactly going to take that risk.

The debate is what a few of my friends suggested I do: is it good or bad? They wanted me to say "Do you want to come to my pool?...clothing optional."

What do you think of that line? Good or bad? I thought it makes me sound like a perv (one friend actually agrees with me). I'll probably see her online later (she usually IM's me first anyway), so I can just ask her then...in a way that will probably yield results.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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undesputable

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are you really that afraid to just say "clothing optional" thats just kinda funny, it wouldnt offend a girl, as long as shes not a prude and she doesnt think youre a loser than its all good. i would even say "nakedness required" but that bc i know my group of friends.
 

ghostin

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ya. good idea not goin up to her when she is with her friends. Buy ya, she shouldnt be offended by that little joke, if she is, then her personality might not be much fun to be around.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Me and her talk a bit, but I try to avoid being "friends" for that future possibility (hey, it doesn't hurt to have more choices, does it?). I wasn't sure if something like that sounded like the right things to say (or a good thing to say) though. It possibly sounded real DJish though (good), so that's why I posted it here. She is real flirty, so I think it should work if I was to try it.

Any other thoughts on this?
 
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The Comeback Kid

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Ah...I forgot the one possible flaw to this whole thing: I am unsure if she has a bf or not.

Now I know that may sound AFC, but the whole thing doesn't work if she has one. Perhaps I fire my attack (the pool thing), and then she'd say she has a bf, if she indeed has one. The reason this would present a problem is because she would most likely not do it if she has a bf. Otherwise, it is clear sailing.

So, again, this is definately a risk, but I think I'm due to take one.
:woo:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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08aisaac

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If she does have a boyfriend then invite him too. He might actually be pretty cool. Who knows. Or if you don't want to invite him then just say that you don't mind and that you're sure that he won't either.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Originally posted by 08aisaac
If she does have a boyfriend then invite him too. He might actually be pretty cool. Who knows. Or if you don't want to invite him then just say that you don't mind and that you're sure that he won't either.
That's not a bad idea, but it would probably not work here IMO.

If she does have a bf, I would have a pretty good idea who it is. I know him a little bit and get along with him, but I probably wouldn't invite him to this. Why?

It wouldn't feel right - who would want to see the "bf" and the girl making out every three seconds and me standing there alone as a spectator, especially IN MY HOUSE (or on my property, w/e)? I'd be kinda left out and I could never feel real comfortable. It would just be awkward and I'd be the odd man out.

Again, definately not a bad idea though.
 
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