Who was the "One"?

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

9Volt

Banned

Feb 7, 2017

Not the "One" as in chicks daydream of finding.

The One that got you the worst. That living nightmare of a chick you ever married, dated, were seeing or got involved with. THAT "One". Even if you've dated etc. a few of the worst who was THE worst. And have you gotten past her or does she still haunt your subconscious? It's easy to chest thump and talk about success but what about major failure in picking the wrong one and what you've learned from the experience with the worst you've ever had the misfortune of being involved with.

Let new posters hear your story of real life chicks that are out there and that they aren't alone in some shyt as they might think.

Last edited: Feb 7, 2017

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.