bambino said:
Okay. so online on AIM, MSN or whatever.. is it alright for you to be the one to initiate the conversation?
I've been talking to this girl for a while and she usually starts the convo's but not till later in the day, i think she just waits for me to start it, so is it ok if I do it or wait till she says hey?
...seems we have yet another misguided soul on this site. Misguided about the whole "withholding interest" thing, that is.
You probably read somewhere in the DJ Bible that showing interest is a bad thing. However, the truth is that NOT showing interest is even worse. You see, if you show absolutely no interest in her, she'll assume that you're not interested and move on (or as we like to say on this site, she'll NEXT you), because, just like we're taught here on SoSuave, it's useless to pursue someone who isn't interested in you at all.
The reason it says in the Bible that you shouldn't show interest at all is that the Bible tries to fix AFC behaviour by giving overcompensating advice. Most AFCs are used to professing crazy amounts of love to women, which is, of course, a turn off for them. Thus, the Bible tries to correct one extreme with the exact opposite extreme, in order to put you somewhere in the middle. The problem that arises from this, fairly frequently I might add, is that it over-overcompensates, and we end up with people doing their utmost to show absolutely no intersest, which just makes things worse.
So, now you may be wondering how to show interest in a girl without losing your challenge? It's simple:
don't show more interest in her than she's showing in you. Give her the impression that you want to take things further with her, but at the same time you still haven't "decided" on her yet. Then, as her interest rises over time, the amount you show can also increase (which is very refreshing, believe me).
In both scenarios, you're on the other side of a fence. The difference is that when you show some interest, but not as much as her, the fence is a wooden one, whereas if you show no interest at all, the fence is electrically charged. With barbed wire at the top. And snipers all over the place. And land mines on the other side. You get the point
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bambino said:
And when she does say hey, i don't say hey back... right? (mysterious)
Would you like it if you said hi to her online and she snuffed you? No, you wouldn't. That would just be plain rude.
If she initiates the conversation, that's a GOOD sign, bro! A lot of girls virtually NEVER initiate, even if they're interested! Capitalize on this whenever it happens.
And btw, mysteriousness is also harmful when taken too seriously. Essentially, all it means is that you should leave her somewhat wondering about what you do in your social life when she's not around. For example, do NOT withhold information about sports or activities you're involved in (it's good for her to hear about these things), but DO be vague about who you chilled with on Saturday night, or about the party you went to on Friday. If you can do it without it looking contrived, mention a girl's name when you talk about one of these things, and say nothing more about her. If she asks you about the girl (this will almost always take the form of "so who is Jenny?", or something like that), just say, "Oh, she's a friend", in a flimsy way that may imply that Jenny is another girl you're seeing, but doesn't really answer anything like that.
