Who Pays?

[jerrycalahan]

A lot of the girls I've wound up dating post college are girls from my social circles where the issue of "who pays?" is largely irrelevant. We hang out, have a good time, everyone pays for themselves, it's not even a question. Eventually, it becomes clear that there is mutual interest and I'll simply take one of these girls home from a group hangout. From that point on, we tend to stick to ourselves where i invite the girl over, we have dinner at my place and spend the rest of the night together.

I've often found that insisting on paying can backfire. The question of who has asked the other out is often very unclear. When I take a number I text a girl back immediately so she knows exactly who's texting later. This often gives the girl the chance to initiate a date. Other girls msg me on facebook after I add them. Or, a girl will beat around the bush: "I haven't seen that movie." This means she is initiating the date, making your asking her out a mere formality. In these situations trying to pay for your date is going to seem strange.

I know most guys pay for everything, but in my experience, it's relatively rare. One friend of mine was dating three girls at once, none of them attractive by conventional standards, and he paid through the nose, a huge chunk of his pay going towards entertaining these girls. I still see tons of guys buying girls drinks and getting nothing out of it. I just don't get it. Do guys just love to flush money down the toilet? Or is it akin to playing the slot machine, expecting to lose, but hopeful for a one in a million payoff?

This is perplexing since I don't often pay for my dates, but it seems like most guys always pay, and pay big.

 

[Black Widow Void]

From reading your post, it sounds like you've found a formula that works.
With this in mind, I wonder what has prompted your posting.
Are you wanting us to talk you out of a formula that you claim is working... and into a formula that might not?