"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Who is Don Juan?

eniktin

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From an essay by Albert Camus, French writer-philosopher, existentialist. I had to translate it from Russian, because I could not find it in English. In the process I abridged it to make it more pallatable. Hopefully this would settle our debate about what it means to be a DJ.

"How simple everything would be, if all that was needed was to love! The more you love, the deeper you get entrenched in an existentialist’s mindset. People usually talk about love sugarcoating it with illusions of eternity. Don Juan sees love differently. He understands that love is limited by death. So he says to himself: “either embrace its impermanence or forget about such an impermanent thing as love”. Giving and dignified is the love that recognizes both its uniqueness and impermanence. All these deaths and rebirths comprise the bouquet of Don Juan’s life which is his present to life. Judge for yourself if he can be considered an Egoist. Is it really necessary to love RARELY in order to love STRONGLY? Don Juan leaves a woman NOT because he no longer wants her, but because he wants another one – which is not the same.

People can be sad for two reasons: ignorance or hopes that can’t be fulfilled. Don Juan knows all and hopes for nothing. He reminds us of those artists, who, knowing the limits of their talent, never step out of them; but work with fascinating effortlessness in what is theirs. Genius – is intelligence that knows its limitations, including the limitations set by physical death. Don Juan knows not sorrow! And at the moment when he sees the end approaching, you can hear his laughter, for which all is forgiven him.

For DJ “vanity and chasing after the wind” is hope for future life. That is evident from the game that he is playing against Heaven. He repents not for spending himself on pleasure.

How much indignation (or strained laughter expressing sudden shame for the object of wonder) is aroused by the speech of Don Juan, when with the same exact phrase he tempts ALL women. But he who seeks quantity of pleasure, considers only effectiveness! What’s the use of sidetracking from a well tested “password”?

The woman is not looking for expressivity in the content of pickup lines and “right things to say”. What matters is the voice that says them. He talks through them, to pass the tests, push the right buttons, honor formalities, after which, what is left to do, is the most essential – making love.

Who is Don Juan? A cheap temptor, womanizer, with the only difference, that for him it is a conscious choice to be one, which makes him an existentialist hero. He adheres to the Ethic of Quantity, as opposed to the Saint, who is after quality. An existentialist tends to be doubtful of the deep meaning of things. He runs through them, gathers a harvest of hot and wonderful images, and than burns it all.

…It’d difficult to find a scarier image: a man, who was betrayed by his own body; who having not died in time, waiting for death is left alone at the end of the play. For a conscious person, old age and everything that comes with it is not something unexpected. (A man is conscious to the degree to which he does not conceal from himself his fear). There was a Temple of Old Age in Athens; children were brought there for excursions. Don Juan knows he must part with the image of himself attributed him by romantics. Who would laugh at a suffering old man? But no, Don Juan foresaw a universe in which there is a place for being laughed at. He is willing to pay the price, such are the rules of the game to him. He knows that he is right just as surely as he knows that he can’t escape punishment. Don Juan’s generosity lies in that he accepts all the rules of the game. He holds death inevitable in contempt.

In Italian museums you can find small painted folding screens. A priest used to hold one in front of a man sentenced to be executed to hide the scaffold from him.

A leap of faith in all its forms, be it escape into divine or eternal, the losing oneself in daily life, or in a struggle for an “idea” – is a folding screen hiding the absurd. But a virgin too can live without it. Don Juan is merely the most pronounced example of an existentialist hero."

What is an existentialist hero? Further reading: http://www.anselm.edu/homepage/dbanach/sisyphus.htm
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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thefonz

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Great post

Isn't it wierd how teachers, parents, always told us how quality always overrides quantity.....that being selfish is evil because it is harmful to the greater cause. Songs tell us love is a risk worth taking, and just leave it at that......

The perpetual cycle of heartache will repeat itself forever in an individual who knows no better than to put 100% devotion into someone they love. After all the smoke clears from the devistation that came from ripping your heart out of your sternum and handing it to a girl as she runs for the hills......they tell you to manually put it back in your chest and do it again until you succeed. Thats just great.
 

earthshyne

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Originally posted by thefonz
After all the smoke clears from the devistation {sic} that came from ripping your heart out of your sternum and handing it to a girl as she runs for the hills...
Actually my heart was torn out, broken and bleeding, through my wallet.
 

PRMoon

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here here

Here's to the spirit of gmae.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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NotaGoatLover

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...I'm Don Juan......... Reincarnated of course.... Hey guys what's up
 

Don_Joffe

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hehe nice thinking PRMoon. Although stop buying girls drinks, ask anyone that has posted more than 1000 times here, they will tell you the same thing.
 
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