You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I have to agree on this, bashful is correct from my point of view. If you don't have the looks, you are just going to be classified as a friend.Originally posted by bashful:
if your funny, oh sure, you'll get their attention. But it wont last but for so long. What if you want to talk seriously? You think they wanna hear that? Nope! keep the funny stuff coming. Neg hits, or whatever else you guys say to do. Having good character but no looks only slaps you right in the friend zone.
And you guys know it. but it seems some of you just fighting the truth.
Im only saying this because of what ive seen in my life with my own two eyes. You cant deny what you see.
Good question. Why don't I like approaching? Complex. Obvioulsy I do not like rejection - though I have to date had many many of them!!*LOL* But I think there is more to it. I haven't so far particularly enjoyed the process of talking to new male friends either. I guess I am not comfortable so far talking to strangers. I suppose I dont like negative responses when I meet people.Originally posted by REd-xL:
You need some help on this issue? Simple: ask yourself why you dislike approaching girls, then ask yourself if your reasons are an excuse for cowardice, then think about what you need to do to change it.
Rx
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Bash,Originally posted by bashful:
I could care less if you dont have simpathy for me. Im not here for your simpathy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well said! Why are you here, Bashful?Originally posted by Don the Legend:
Bash,
Then why are you here? You don't use the advice given to you. You have all the answers to life. You are 21 and you know everything a woman is looking for and what works to get them. Then I suppose 99% of the other DJ's are wrong and you are right. Sad!!
Please answer my question, then why are you here? What's your point? You trying to convert all the DJ's that your ideas are better than the knowledge on this board? If this doesn't work for 1% of the people, meaning you, then I would take those odds that this does work. You are right Bashful, this site is not for you. Stick with the successes you are achieving. You are right and we are wrong. I hope you find a board that suits you better.
Good Luck,
Legend
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
That's fu*king cruel.Originally posted by Deagleclaw:
This isn't Nintendo, like Pook said, this is NATURAL SELECTION. And it's losers like you that never pass their genes on cuz hookers have abortions.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.