"Who else is going?"

[High Voltage]

Heres how it goes: You set up what you think of as a date in person with just the two of you there. You call the day before to work out some final details and you get this line:

"Who else is going?"

So whats the deal with this? It sounds to me as if I have somehow not made my intentions clear. Although, when I do set something up I never call it a 'date'. How do you guys prevent this question from being asked? (i.e. how do you make your intentions clear?) Maybe these chicks just need to have you hit them over the head to know that they're being asked out.

My other thought was this is an attempt to be 'clever' on the part of the chick. Testing to see if it really is a date and not a group social thing so in her mind she knows whats going on.

Either that or this is the gentlest way of not showing interest that I've ever heard!

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

- HV

 

[High Voltage]

Thanx Gigalo, the idea of being friended had crossed my mind. However, I've always kept it sexual and used a good deal of kino so I thought this conclusion unlikely. Could be though.

Any other ideas?

- HV

 

[MisterAl]

Originally posted by High Voltage
"Who else is going?"

GigaloDJ is right. You've been Friend-Zoned.

What was the date? Is this your first with her? I think this is another good reason to keep first dates simple like going for coffee or ice cream. There shouldn't be any mistake over the intent of the meeting or the number of people attending. More elaborate activities such as attending concerts or shooting pool can be misinterpreted as friend/group stuff.

Your use of language is important when setting the date. "I'll pick you up at seven-thirty" or "I'll meet you there for coffee at one" should suck the ambiguity out of your message.

 

[High Voltage]

Okay I can accept that I've been friended here. Thanx for your input.

Yes it was my first with her. Was going to take her to a corn maze after dark for some spooky fun-ness. We were also forming plans to go to a concert a week later. Screw that. I'll take someone else.

Annoyed at my failure I suppose. Not the fact that I didn't get the girl, but that I was unable to make my intentions clear. No worries, she had a few red flags and was just for practice. One thing for sure, she's no friend of mine!

- HV

 

[Walden]

KLANGALANGALNAGALANG!

(But I'm with ya , I hate hearing that)

 

[MisterAl]

Originally posted by High Voltage
Yes it was my first with her. Was going to take her to a corn maze after dark for some spooky fun-ness. We were also forming plans to go to a concert a week later. Screw that. I'll take someone else.
/B]

The corn maze sounds like a great idea! Then later you could sit down for some hot cider. Mmm, I'm going to try to find a corn maze around here next week.

I think that making second date plans before going on your first date was a mistake. She never had the chance to wonder if she could get you. You didn't let her have butterflies. Keep the next girl guessing by waiting until after your first date to plan your second.

You've got good attitude. Keep going.