"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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who da man

S

StoneCold

Don Juan
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Yo dudes wots happning

It was a ****ing hot day Here man so i decided to go Fishing 4 chicks

U with me I see a cute latino type gal with a blonde chick Both wearin skirts 1 long and 1 short

So i go over after eye contact and smile and say
" Hey I like ur skirts U know its my sis B day soon And i think that style would look great on her"

" do u mind helping me out i mean theirs loads of Places we could try"

They reply " Thats nice whens her b day and **** like that"

So here i am with 2 babes walking into Lady shops Oo yeah"

we went into sum Girl stores and they took me around da place

Im explaing fake colours my sis likes and **** like that

Now comes da funni part while i was looking at sum of da skirts i decided to drop one

so i tell da latin looking babe do u mind picking that up

wow she bends down nice legs huh while this was taking place da blonde chick smiled at me s my eyes where gazed down on da latin chick.

Later on they make me get a skirt "hell knows what 4"

anyway i complimented them on they kindness and ****

and hey i got da mobile numba as well

who da man

This fishing **** is fun man
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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N

NRM

Master Don Juan
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You got two numbers from girls you went shopping with.

...

It isn't really that great of an accomplishment.
 
S

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by NRM
You got two numbers from girls you went shopping with.

...

It isn't really that great of an accomplishment.
Click to expand...
A lot more than most people get on this forum. :rolleyes:

Now if only you could work on that spelling.... :D
 
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