"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Which one?

Which one

  • Beef ramen

    Votes: 3 37.5%
  • Shrimp ramen

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Chicken ramen

    Votes: 3 37.5%

  • Total voters
    8

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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gravityeyelids

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2013
Messages
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Dude. Chicken. No Contest.

and drop 2 raw eggs in that b!tch for m0ar ProTeINs!!!!
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
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Location
NYC
None...the sodium in those things is off the charts!
 

JoeMarron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
1,301
Reaction score
64
Age
35
I find it hysterical that it's an even split between all of them. I refuse to vote so the hilarity of this situation can continue.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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