Which guy would you rather be?

[Slickster]

Which guy would you rather be and why?

(No in betweens or a little of both answers. This is a hypothetical question based on two extreme options.)

Both guys are good looking, 35 years old, single, and successful with women but for different reasons.

Guy A:
- Total player type.
- Has slept with over 300 women. (Majority one-nighters)
- Attracts tons of hot women but mostly the type who are only good for sex. Stupid, bar-star, party girls with poop for brains.
- Has little or no standards. Will screw any chick who is down. Fat, skinny, ugly or cute.
- Nails the odd nice girl or "keeper" but usually these chicks think of him as a player and don't take him seriously.
- Has become very jaded towards women.
- Hasn't "connected" with a woman in a very long time and seriously doubts he ever will.
- Has had only one serious relationship.



Guy B:
- Total relationship guy
- Has only slept with 8 women. (5 LTR's, 1 F-buddy and 2 one-nighters which he blames on alcohol.)
- Attracts hot looking women but usually the more conservative types looking for relationships. Has many women pining for him but he always seems to have a girlfriend.
- Avoids skanky or low quality chicks. Often turns down guaranteed sex from women who are below his standards.
- Has very high standards. Is only attracted to hot women who have something more to offer than just sex. Will stay single until one comes along.
- Has great relationships with women and is on good terms with all of his exes.
- Despite a recent breakup remains positive as he continues to meet new exciting women all the time.



Consider that both Guy A and Guy B will most likely continue these trends going forward.


Which guy would you choose to be and why?

 

[Jitterbug]

False choice. You have a very biased presentation which greatly favours Guy B.

 

[SecondHalf]

Guy A sounds like a stereotype, Guy B sounds like a frustrated individual.

Guy B is well on his way to becoming Guy A at least in some respects.
Often, Guy A types were not always that way, but just gave up!
If you see it this way as I do ... ironic don't you think?

SH

 

[zekko]

Guy A:
- Total player type.
- Has slept with over 300 women. (Majority one-nighters)
- Attracts tons of hot women but mostly the type who are only good for sex. Stupid, bar-star, party girls with poop for brains.
- Has little or no standards. Will screw any chick who is down. Fat, skinny, ugly or cute.
- Nails the odd nice girl or "keeper" but usually these chicks think of him as a player and don't take him seriously.
- Has become very jaded towards women.
- Hasn't "connected" with a woman in a very long time and seriously doubts he ever will.
- Has had only one serious relationship.

I don't think anyone would be surprised to find that I would prefer to be Guy B. Mainly because he has the best of both worlds. He has sex and he can connect with a girl. For me at least, both are important. Guy A can't connect with women as people so he can only lead a one dimensional, superficial existence. Even if yes, he has a lot of fun.

I've never quite understood why a guy who could attract really hot women would bang fat and ugly girls. He can do better, why doesn't he have standards. Maybe banging ugly girls is like a fetish for some guys.

 

[Colossus]

Well Guy B for sure but you are totally leading us to pick that choice. Guy B sounds genuinely happy and well-developed. Guy A sounds like a miserable cynic who numbs his pain with casual sex.

 

[Slickster]

This topic came up recently in a round-a-bout sort of way whilst having a few beers with the boys at the local pub.

We were talking about years gone by and some of the hot waitresses that used to work there. There was one waitress who everyone seemed to agree was the hottest ever. As it turns out one of my buddies there is a Guy A type and he nailed this chick several times back in the day.

So Guy A is lapping up all the praise from the guys about boning this girl and they continue to reminisce about some of the other hotties he has been with. The list is long and the guy seems proud to be the biggest stud in the land blah, blah, blah.

Well the topic comes full circle back to this hot waitress and low and behold there is another guy there (Guy B) who admits to having turned down having sex with hot waitress long long ago. Well the table erupts in disbelief and Guy B gets a big strip torn off of him for being such an idiot. He tries and tries to explain his side of the story but no one will listen to him at all. In fact they start picking apart the guy's entire romantic and sexual history. They make fun of the fact that he's only been with a handful of girls and that he's a serial relationship guy. They even start making bets on how long its going to be until he finds another gf. It goes on and on and even though he took it all well and in good fun he was pretty much laughed out of the room.

So this got me thinking about this idea. I know both these guys pretty well. I know that Guy A isn't very happy even though he puts up a good front. Meanwhile Guy B seems genuinely happy despite his recent breakup and is apparently in no rush to hook up with anyone. I know of several cool chicks that would hook up with him in a heartbeat but he's just kinda meh about it.

Now I realize my initial question was leading and most people would pick Guy B. However if I worded it differently and made Guy A out to be happy fun loving party guy who just didn't give a fvck (which is the front he puts on) then I think more people would probably pick him. The other point that might be worth considering is that this is the MM forum. What kind of responses would this question get from the young bucks on the main forum?

In general I think most guys have the idea in their heads that it would be great to be the total stallion who bangs hundreds of women. Isn't that what most guys aspire to? The reality however seems to be a lot different. Does every notch on your bedpost take a little bit of your soul and leave an empty spot?

I know this sounds a little dramatic but for the life of me I just can't think of any guys I know who score (or scored) tons of chicks and don't have a sh!tty attitude about women or even life in general. Even guys who used to be studs but have gotten married follow this pattern. They're either unhappy in their marriage or they've cheated or gotten divorced and are reverting back to their old ways.

Meanwhile the guys I know with pitiful experience with women somehow seem to be more content. There's one guy I know from highschool who just recently got married to the first girl he ever slept with! He's happy as a pig in Sh!t!!!

Now I realize most men don't have such extreme sexual histories and I'm not trying to preach anything here. It's just something I'm noticing more and more the older I get. I definitely consider myself more of a Guy B type. I try to think back to when I was younger, single and on the prowl. In my head I naturally consider those times my "glory days". Ironically it's those same glory days that have left my buddy (Guy A) where he is now.

 

[Boilermaker]

I agree that you painted A a little too dark, it could be a guy:

Guy A-modified:

- has slept with 300 women
- enjoys his sexuality and ability to attract good looking women of all shades.
- has had more than one LTR and can manage one if he wants to
- can get married anytime he wants to, but refuses to do so.
- Isn't jaded towards women and enjoys their company (sometimes even thinking they are deeper than most his male friends).
- Connects with every single women he meets but doesn't wish to commit exclusively to one woman.
- Has bouts of middle-LTR's where he primarily dates one chick for 6-months.
- Doesn't have prejudices or judgements about Guy B.

Then I'd gladly choose to be Guy A. George Clooney and Casanova are two real-life examples I think, are closest to this Model.

 

[Colossus]

I know this sounds a little dramatic but for the life of me I just can't think of any guys I know who score (or scored) tons of chicks and don't have a sh!tty attitude about women or even life in general. Even guys who used to be studs but have gotten married follow this pattern. They're either unhappy in their marriage or they've cheated or gotten divorced and are reverting back to their old ways.

I dont think it's dramatic. For me it's the truth.

I can wholeheartedly say that sleeping with almost 40 chicks has NOT made me a better person. I had some fun, but I acquired some misery as well. I learned from all of that but at the end of the day I am not a more substantial Man because I indiscriminately laid wood to a bunch of women. If anything I am VERY wary to trust any female now, and I used to be really cynical. I did satisfy some curiosity, and I learned that pvssy is pvssy. So that is probably the only benefit.

I kind of see serial one-nighters similar to an addiction. You are trying to fill some void, or mask reality. It never gets filled. Each time you lose a bit of your soul, like Atom Smasher touched on in a recent thread. Just my opinion, of course. I'm painting with a broad brush here.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Guy B based on the assumption that he probably had more sessions of intercourse with an attractive girl while sober. And may have been exposed to less pathogens/STDs. And the assumption that guy A spends a lot of time hitting on women and facing rejections, and accomplishes little else. And the assumption that at age 35, guy A is going to see diminishing results and his time is running out to be a player, and will need to change his game plan if he even can. I have to make assumptions and these are very realistic ones for guy A IME.

You didn't give the option but I'd rather be Guy "C" you played the field a little bit and slept with some young, hot girls that weren't complete sluts. And he found one girl who was super hot/quality, maybe a high school pr college sweetheart, and has been married to since his early 20's. A bond that was developed when young and last 15 years and would last the rest of their lives.

As you mentioned you never knew one guy A who was happy with a woman and a relationship. That goes super double for female type A. Sluts are never happy with a man for any length of time and have defects and damage.

 

[zekko]

I have a friend my age who bangs a series of girls 18-22. So I disagree that your player days have to be nearly over at age 35.

Boilermaker's modifications definitely make Guy A sound more appealing than he was before. Statistically though, married guys are more happy. Which is hard to explain considering that all you read here is about how guys are hard-wired to spread their seed.

 

[Boilermaker]

Zekko, I generally agree with your observation.

Although I would add that the reason the "average" single guy is more likely to be unhappy in real life, isn't the fact that he made himself Guy B, and ended up being jaded and unhappy. The average guy that is measured against the average married guy statistically, is probably something like a Guy C, who is single, miserable, doesn't get laid, poor, socially awkward, and has to work 3-jobs to pay his rent, leaving no time for social activity. Not meaning to put him down, just a factual guess based on today's America. I can imagine marriage bringing all sorts of stabilization through the spouse checking alcohol intake, providing at the very least minimal social life, indirectly enforcing responsibilities, financial support, intimacy, a shoulder to rely on and so on...

That said, I would be reluctant to accept that an honest comparison of a healthy Guy A and a married Guy B will show a significant skew towards Guy B, in terms of happiness and general satisfaction. If anything, I'd expect Guy A to be more content with his life in general, having aligned his lifestyle optimally towards his biological imperatives.

I realize this last bit is up for debate, though.

 

[Jitterbug]

Statistically though, married guys are more happy.

Been debunked many times over. The researchers counted divorced men as single men.

 

[muscleman]

You have a flawed premise. Here are two things that jump out at me, which I was I couldn't say A or B.

A: 'will fvck anything, has no standards'. 'Total players' have standards.

B: 'will remain single until one comes along', yet you say women are always pining for him - meaning he is either never single or is turning down hot women for sex, neither of which is realistic.

You may want to revise these slightly.

You're also categorizing both guys as being static, that is, relationship guy will never go on a banging spree and player guy will never settle down. Both are false. If you have options, you do what you want based on whatever stage of life you're in. I've done the serial monogamy thing for years, and have also remained single for years. While I'm not opposed to a monogamous relationship at this stage, per se, I'm extremely picky now.

 

[typical]

I have a tonne of respect for all of you that have posted but I have to disagree with many points that have been raised.

First of all if you think that sleeping with many many different women is going to make you happy then you have the wrong mindset. If you think getting married to a sweetheart girl early in life and being lucky in having a near perfect relationship will make you happy you have the wrong mindset, this will either happen to you or it won't chances are you won't be this damn lucky so suck it up. You guys are starting to sound like a bunch of women who are about to hit "the wall" and are looking to equate happiness with "having a high quality woman". I really don't think many of you have actually given up the blue pill fantasy and don't have the stomach to take the harsh reality of a red pill existence.

Happiness does not come from external influences its how you deal with all external influences that determines your level of happiness. Make up any and all excuses if you ain't happy then your doing something wrong. There is no such thing as a hot high quality woman, given the right circumstances they will all play mind games with you and fu(k you over for a better prospect given half the chance, you just have to make sure that no matter what happens you look after yourself first.

Don't take me wrong as I fit the bill for guy A very well (apart from the sleeping with nearly 300 women bit my numbers are no where near that maybe 30-40 I haven't sat down and counted). From the time I was in high-school to now I've learned that women don't change in any way mentally from the age of 12 onward they only change physically. I've seen all types of women throw themselves at me and my mates that were into kickboxing and mma fighting since the age of 17.

I honestly don't believe that a woman can add anything of value to a mans life, children yes if you want them, conversation maybe but forget about talking politics sports or science to a hot women, only thing is pu55y on tap nothing more.

I'm not jaded against women I've come to understand that they are hardwired differently to men and have a different way of thinking and doing things, their way of doing things drives me up the wall and their idea's of fun are very very boring ............ unless they had a super cool guy introduce them to something exciting and fun.

I find that my constant battle to keep in shape and try out new and exciting activities keeps me happy, I've picked up skydiving this year and I'm looking to get into fencing next year, I play a tonne of sport and have a decent education (finance degree) and a decent job atm.

I look at everyone around me in a relationship and all I see is mediocre people that have got nothing better to do then argue over why the toilet seat was left up or why there is no eggs or milk in the fridge. Or why the kids are failing at school or some other nonsense. I ask them what are they going to do in the weekend its the same boring mundane answer .......... go movies clean up go see relatives ............ yawn how boring. They ask me I tell them I have football aka soccer on Saturday morning then a party I was invited to by a young 22 year old promo girl later that night and if I play my cards right I'll hook up with her or her friends or both and on Sunday I'm gonna go jump out of as many planes I can before I get too tired.

Honestly so much hard work for so little return (in my opinion) in a relationship. I can pack up and do whatever I want anytime I want with whomever I want I just don't see many benefits at all.

See you painted guy A in a very negative color he can actually with a bit of soul searching live a very happy life without the need for any woman.

As they say you bake your cake first, the woman the sex the relationship the kids are all the icing on top, and that's if you like your cake with a sweet topping, otherwise you can just make a super sweet delicious chocolate cake that doesn't need icing at all your choice, and because your a cool guy you can switch and have either type of cake when you want too its your choice.

 

[Serg897]

Good post. Overall the theme here is really questioning whether just being a flailing penis whose only goal is to get laid is really the path to happiness.