Which do you chose: Self-respect or girlfriend's exam?

[ravinnn]

Okay so I have a small problem. I've been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months and occasionally we'd get into a small fight.

So right now finals week is nearing and we botd she said she would really want to chill after. I thought about it and evenh have finals coming up. I haven't done **** the entire semester and I've been studying like crazy the past few days and I will continue to. I also haven't seen my girlfriend for two weeks and I wasn't planning to for another two, until finals were over. However, she's having a big exam tomorrow an though I had plans for the whole day I agreed. Tonight we finalized plans and I told her that I'm not going to chill all day, only part of it. She got upset (probably partly due to exam stress) and the fact that she got upset pissed me off a little. We got into a fight over the phone but after 5 minutes I just ended it and said goodnight, i love you, goodluck. She said the same but it was obvious we both said it pissed off.

I felt bad because now she would be thinking about our fight and it would affect her grade. I thought about it and to me her exam is more important so I sent her a fuzzy text apologizing for getting mad, wishing her good luck, and telling her I love her. It felt a little degrading to me, but it also seemed like the right thing to do.

I feel like I didn't have to do anything but I care about her and to be honest I want her to do well, even if it's a little at my expense. In my opinion as long as this doesn't repeat it doesn't mean anything. But what if something similar happens in the future?

How would you guys have played this out?

 

[rkc09]

Whats up bro

Your story seems alittle confusing. I can't get a clear idea of whats going on. But I'll try to take a stab at it.

If you made plans to chill her but had to cancel due to exams then she should be understanding of that and you shouldn't apologize for anything. School work should come first bro. Did she text you back after you sent that text to her? I need alittle more info.

But from what I see she seems to be alittle stressed out due to exams. Does she always start fights like this? You have to understand just because fights break out you don't have to automatically apologize for something you didn't do. I don't think you were wrong here, it seemed like she started it. She should have been considerate your time too. But don't sweat it too much. Fights happen in even the strongest relationships. I'm pretty sure once this finals madness wears off, this fight would be a memory. Good luck on exams btw.

 

[perseverance]

This is a common case of a man trying to appease his woman and by doing so has drifted away from his principles and his stance.

How would I have handled it? I am quite a blunt and I am not always tactful. I would have said, I have final exams coming up, these grades are important to me and I need them. We arranged to meet on this day and that is the day we shall meet. When she threw the hissy fit, I would have just said "I have go and study now, I'll speak to you later" and I would have hung up.

You lost your dominance in this situation because you changed your stance to make her happy, you lost your control because you lost your temper and as a result your conscience kicked in and you end up being Mr Soppy Bollox through a text message.

Next time stick firmly behind your guns and walk away from any situation where an argument will commence. It is that simple. Children argue, adults walk away, let her be the child and be the adult.

 

[Chickfight]

I don't think you did anything to lower attraction and you did the right thing. Just relax, it'll blow over.

 

[jafyk]

Whats up bro

Your story seems alittle confusing. I can't get a clear idea of whats going on. But I'll try to take a stab at it.

If you made plans to chill her but had to cancel due to exams then she should be understanding of that and you shouldn't apologize for anything. School work should come first bro. Did she text you back after you sent that text to her? I need alittle more info.

But from what I see she seems to be alittle stressed out due to exams. Does she always start fights like this? You have to understand just because fights break out you don't have to automatically apologize for something you didn't do. I don't think you were wrong here, it seemed like she started it. She should have been considerate your time too. But don't sweat it too much. Fights happen in even the strongest relationships. I'm pretty sure once this finals madness wears off, this fight would be a memory. Good luck on exams btw.

My man above knew he had exams before making plans with the girl and now he wants to back out of the original agreement and expect her to be like "Yes sir, it's ok with a smile on her face". I'd be mad too. No, there's nothing wrong sir with apologizing because you messed up to start with. Now next time if you fight a lot with your GF avoid her during exam periods or it will really affect your grades. Trust me I know. If the situation is not that bad then making time one day for a few hours in the week to see each other wouldn't really be that much of a bad time.
If you wanted to fvck during that exam week would you say "uh..due to my exams I won't" probably not.

 

[handle]

An argument isn't going to do **** in the long run for her exam. Of course you don't need to apologize. Ridiculous. Bear in mind that I didn't actually read of the details of your argument because I don't care. Maybe you were in the wrong and should apologize. But what I'm saying here is don't let some little "oh if she goes to be mad she'll do bad" thing get in the way.

My way of being polite to my girl when she has an exam the next morning is not ****ing her in the morning (did that once, she was -very- late).