"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Where to tell if she is interested or just bored with her Bf

Dabrant29

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K i haven't been on this forum in a while because school has been keeping me crazy busy. Every time i do come on here though there are always people with great advice that is genuine and heartfelt so i am going to explain my situation i am in. Last year my first ever college night class i met this girl named Alyson. She is a junior but we are the same age seeing how i took a year of school off to help my family. We met last year and hung quite a bit n became pretty good friends. I always had a crush on her but i only gave subtle hints here n there. She has had a boyfriend since then for about 10 months or something. The thing that confuses me the most now. Every Wednesday i work at the school library she comes in for me entire shift sits down next to a computer i am at n just talks to me. I even receive text messages during the day sometimes saying I can't wait to see you Tonight or Tomorrow when you work. This Baffles me because she has a boyfriend. I guess i don't know how to approach the situation n really tell if she likes me n wants to be something or if i am on this leash that she just wants to see when her dumb boyfriend isn't around. Something has got to be said if she shows up to my work every Wednesday. Anyway couple of my buddies told me to ignore this guy n be like " So when we going go on that Date?" Any Advice at all would be appreciated thank you for much you guys
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dabrant29

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I haven't really thought of what to do yet but it's going to be a rough 2 months of her coming in every Wednesday n me not knowing what to say or do.
 

TheNastyAfrican

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Haha, you'll probably hate me for this and want to ignore my advice but I'm going to tell you anyway. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT!!! get so involved with this girl. In my experience nothing good ever comes out of pursuing girls with boyfriends. You can keep her as a friend, but limit contact. Find some other girls, you'll be much better off.
 

The Deacon

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Hmmmm... I can only give you educated guesses about what's going on...

1. Her boyfriend ain't pleasin' her, and she's makin herself available to you.
2. Her boyfriend ain't treatin her right, and she wants to make you an emotional tampon.
3. Her boyfriend ain't makin' her feel desirable, so she's got somethin to prove by seducing you.

If you want action, the third situation is always the best one. When a girl's got somethin to prove, she'll do some really dumb stuff. If you want a relationship, the first situation is the best one. There's no sure way to understand which of those three situations is what's really going on, but judging from the messages, one can assume that she's probably got a thing for you.
 

Dabrant29

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Thats what im afraid of i guess i don't know if she is trying to prove something? or really wanting me to act on what shes doing. Either way i mean next time she comes into my work on Wednesday i am trying to decide whether i should ignore her or like really seem uninterested in what shes talking about. Usually i listen n ask questions cause we all know girls love to talk about themselves. What would you guys do?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Dabrant29

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I can move on thats not an issue but i am just trying to figure out what to say to her. I have moral value of taking from her if i did stuff with her while she had a boyfriend. That puts a lot of guilt on her. If so though would i just ask her to come over for a movie n cut to the chase or just ignore her at work ? I mean Wednesdays suck at work i can't get any homework done cause of this hot chick bothering me haha.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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DonGorgon

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Dabrant29 said:
I can move on thats not an issue but i am just trying to figure out what to say to her. I have moral value of taking from her if i did stuff with her while she had a boyfriend. That puts a lot of guilt on her. If so though would i just ask her to come over for a movie n cut to the chase or just ignore her at work ? I mean Wednesdays suck at work i can't get any homework done cause of this hot chick bothering me haha.
well its up to you ... if you turn her down she will just f the next guy... so it does not really matter really... ME?! I would f her and move on.
 

Dabrant29

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She Mentioned in class that i am a very idealistic out of the blue she texted me from across the room and said. Your a very idealistic n that was that. I was confused. What is Idealism and is that a compliment or and insult?
 

DonGorgon

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Dabrant29 said:
She Mentioned in class that i am a very idealistic out of the blue she texted me from across the room and said. Your a very idealistic n that was that. I was confused. What is Idealism and is that a compliment or and insult?
You should have just texted back - "and you are very sexy"

That would have ended her silly game early.
 

Dabrant29

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But what is Idealism If someone says your Idealistic when flirting or something would that be considered a compliment or insult. Guess i have never heard someone say that before.
 

Dabrant29

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Danger come to think of it She Never Talks about her boyfriend ever. So i don't really know though.. Is that morally right tho to **** her if shes interested in me when she has a boyfriend. I would not want to like like make her go through some process of OMG i cheated i feel guilty type stuff,. You know so just Go for it or like just let it be?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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