Where to start from to be happy with yourself?

[BannedGod]

I noticed lately that I am feeling more and more unhappy with myself and I also feel like I need a girl to be happy. Maybe it's because I've developped Oneitis for this girl and since I acted real AFC with her, I'm stuck in the friendzone. I'm also stupid and I'm keeping contact with her because she's still a good friend, so I guess this doesn't help. Nonetheless, I don't think this is the source of the problem. The source is myself, I don't think I am comfortable enough with myself, or that I don't like myself enough. How can I fix that?

 

[vagrant]

i ask a lot of questions myself even though i know the answers...it's weird...read the dj bible...lots of amazing stuff there!~

 

[Ayoooo]

Where's the link to the Bible?

 

[vagrant]

go to google and type the dj bible...you'll see it right away...that's how i go there!~

 

[CalmCoolAndConfident]

Keep her as a friend, and do her a little something and tell her she ows you big time. They buy it, you can make this favor from anything like getting her to be your wing"woman" to getting her to hook you up wit on of her friends. The best part is the favor can be something as easy as driving her somewhere.

 

[CrunchyNut]

What is it about yourself that you are not happy about? If you can work this out, then you can do something about it. or example, if you feel that you are not confident enough, practice making eye contact, holding yourself straight, smiling at people etc. If you are out of shape, simple; go to a gym. Whatever you feel you need to do, STICK AT IT. It is no good signing up to a gym, or setting yourself some goals, like smiling at 10 girls a day, if you only do it when you feel like it. This will just lead to you feeling worse about yourself. Set yourself realistic targets and hit them. It doesnt matter what they are-even if its just eating 5 pieces of fruit and veg a day, if you do that every day for a year you will feel like you have achieved something.

Work out what you are not happy about, work out what to do about it, set yourself targets, and stick to them.

 

[Vypros]

I know EXACTLY how you feel my friend. So, let me put it to you real for a moment. Please don't be alarmed with the statement I am about to make, but it's the truth.

YOU HAVE CANCER AND ARE GOING TO DIE IN 6 MONTHS. WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?



Are you listening to me now? Good, because I wanted to jar you a little bit and put you into a certain mindset. Answer the question. In fact, don't just answer the question, open notepad or Word or something RIGHT NOW and MAKE A LIST OF WHAT YOU WOULD DO.

Then...


DO IT! Comn man, we a human beings. We come from the earth, and if we're lucky we get 70-80 years tops. It's a pretty big world out there (regardless of what Disney has told us) and there is so much LIFE to be lived. There is so much to DO. The sheer fact is that I am sitting here typing this when I should be outside staring up at the moon, out on a lake swimming, running until my sides hurt, biking, hiking, working out, telling my family that I love them, making friends and meeting new people...all of that and so much more!!

Maybe that sounds hammy, over the top, whatever, but it's the TRUTH. What are you still doing here? Have you ever evaluated how much time you've actually spent wasting life? What's really important?

I urge you and everyone who reads this to get off her (request a self-ban or something if you have to) and go DO! But Vypros I can't....GO DO! But...GO DO!

Seriously, look at your list and begin to focus on how you are going to accomplish or do those things. Don't make a wimpy list either. Make it broad and list as many details as you can. Don't let things like "not having the money" affect what goes on the list either. Just make a straight list that if you COULD do it you WOULD.

When the list is done, prioritize it, put it in order and start working your way down the list one by one. You don't have to accomplish it all at once. As long as you are WORKING toward meeting that list, you are good. Hell, it may even take an incredible amount of planning to accomplish some of the things you list, but if you really put your mind and heart into it, you will find a way to do it.

 

[djbr]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=120626

It helped me.

 

[organizedconfusion]

in your case paticularly i'd rather be without her then be her friend at all,it dosen't even sound like girls would even make you happy at this point.They are not the center of the universe you know..

 

[kreuz]

BannedGod,

When I was in your particular position when I was a younger lad I picked up more hobbies and began to work out more often. Working out is good for your body, helps you mentally, and brings up your self-esteem in due time. Hobbies keep you busy, make you forget about the girl, and with time you will realize the one truth behind being a man that will save your life!

The one truth is: When you are down about a girl, grow a pair and realize that there are so many more girls out there that (a) look better (b) are more enjoyable to be around (c) treat you with more respect (d) ...and so much more!

So keep your head up, fix yourself before you jump back into any relationships or go out hunting for girls, and build up your confidence (which will help to rid you of your AFC ways)

Good luck and if you need any more help, the SS team will be there to help.