"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Where to go from here?

tsmith2334

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Alright, at the end of August I took a girl out to dinner. We were friends from high school that talked every now and then and we hadn't seen in each in a couple of years. I asked her if she wanted to get dinner and she said "she'd love to".

She had just came off of an LTR, but the date went well enough. She showed a good amount of IOIs and I tried my best at the DJ approach (I've read up on some pointers since however). I didn't do everything perfectly, but we enjoyed each other's company and had fun. A few hours later she messaged me saying thank you and that she had a good time.

Unfortunately it was the end of August, on a Wednesday, and I was headed to school that Sunday. She left shortly to a different school herself. So basically, I had no oppurtunity for a follow-up date.

Since then I've texted her a couple times and sent an IM or two (about 1-2 initiations a month, not much). I just don't really know where to go from here! It's hard when you don't really have many oppurtunities for exposure. I know that I want it to seem like I have several options over at school (and I do to an extent) but ultimately I'd like to date her again during winter break at the very least. We've discussed visiting each other at school in the past, but I'm not sure if that will ever materialize.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice or tips that help me casually run game, or atleast not be forgotten while I'm over getting an education in another state... thanks.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrblue

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How far away is her school from yours? I would prob cool my jets till winter break when you can see her again, in the main time have fun at school, there are plenty of girls where you are!
 

tsmith2334

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LJC said:
It all depends on what YOU want.
I atleast want to go on a few more dates. I'd love to get to know her real well and develop something. I'm just not sure how to approach things or how often I should contact her while we're both away at school.

Should I drop it completely and just hit up her out of nowhere once we're home on break? Should I try to contact her often? (just throwing that out there even though I know not to do that) Should I maybe just shoot her a text or a wall post like once a month?

I'm probably leaning toward option 3, but I'm up for any advice you guys have to offer.

Thanks for the tip and putting things in perspective.
 

yama600rr

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how far apart are you guys? is it driving distance, if so maybe you can take a road trip and visit her on the weekend of something. i say just keep in touch here and there, and just so she knows that you're on her mind. thats all you can do for now bro!
 

tsmith2334

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thanks mrblue and yama for the feedback, it's appreciated. she's probably 2.5-3 hours away, so a visit isn't out of the question. we've actually talked about doing it before. i'm thinking maybe at the end of the month, mentioning it on her facebook wall in a funny, half-joking way

that and maybe sparking up an AIM conversation once is probably all i'm going to do between now and winter break. i basically want to come across as busy and pre-occupied while i'm up at school, so i'm trying hard not to overdo it. does this seem like an effective approach?
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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tsmith2334

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i tell ya, this situation is tough. i'd like to touch base with her every couple of days, but i know that's some AFC behavior. in this situation i feel like less is more.

i really couldn't care less about what goes on between now and december, i just want another date during break (and for her to be single).

if the date before we left had been a resounding success i'd be less worried, but i like i said, i made a few minor mistakes. probably nothing wrong to the average person, just not up to DJ standards. i've read alot since then. i'm also not sure how much of it is perception though, i tend to be very hard on myself.

i've read some feeback saying to contact her "every once in a while". does a casual text or message once a month sound reasonable?

i think the key here is checking out some babes at my school here and relaxing a little :up:
 
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