Where to go from here?

[fertileTurtle]

First post, from a DJ in training.

I have a heavy interest in a 20 y.o. lady and I'm 26. We've seen each other in public quite a bit over the last year--she goes to my church and I used to work for her uncle.

We went on a trip together last week and I met her family from a different state. Before the trip, I got some vibes from her that she was really into me and we would probably end up kissing and even having sex . I don't know what went wrong but I went to kiss her right before we left for the trip and she tensed up her lips and told me she'd never kissed a man before. Even though she's hot (nice tits and face and real nice ass) , I believe her, because she has a very controlling dad and she goes to a controlling fundamentalist Christian college. I asked her if she didn't like to be kissed and she told me she hardly knew me and "we need to go right now."

I acted like nothing happened and went on the trip with her. We had good chemistry on the way to and even better on the way back from the trip. I even got her listening to some music she supposedly doesn't listen to. She even hinted at a few places she would like to go on a date. I made her laugh and I even felt like I should have at least given her a hug at the end, if not try for another kiss, but I felt frozen from the first failed attempt to kiss her.

Since then we've emailed each other a couple of times, but I decided not to email her anymore because a lot of DJs don't think it's quite a good idea and also when I have to whip up some fancy reply to her e-mail’s I feel like a little show dog trying to do tricks for her just to impress her. I do think, however, I'm pretty good with emails, but they seem to be too risky as far as having my sweet nothings put on file for anyone to see. She actually got my email address from her mother and asked me permission to email her, because I hadn't given her my email. I joked with her that she could email me as long as she didn't stalk me.... anyway here are the emails...

>Her:
Hey,
>I hope you don't mind, but I got your email address from my mom. I
>just wanted to thank you again for going with me. I really don't like
making long trips by myself. I had a lot of fun this weekend and I
enjoyed getting to know you better. Hope you have a great week!

>Me:
You can send me emails as long as you promise not to stalk me. ;P
You were worth the trip this time, because you're fun to be with; and
besides, you seem like you could use a little sometimes.
You're probably in for a few more surprises; that's if you like
surprises..
Her:
Hey there,
Stalk you? Right. Anyways... I'm glad you had fun. You're fun to be with too. My family has had nothing but good things to say about you since we left. My brother says you're cool. Thanks for being so good with him. He really needed that.

Surprises? What kind of surprises? You've really got me curious now.
Well, I have tons upon tons of homework tonight, so I'll talk to you later.

Me:
>Stalk you? Right. ...
That was eerie... Just to let you know, I don't like email much and
you're already abusing your privilege by being naughty ;P, so I'll
just see you when I see you.

I just had to clear up a few things. I'm really sorry you got the wrong impression. I would NEVER in a million years even consider stalking someone. I was trying to be sarcastic to your remark about promising not to stalk, but I see what you mean about not liking email. It's confusing. I hope you don't think I'm that type of person. Sorry again. See ya.




She seems kind of pissed, but I think I probably have her where I want her.
I want to ask her out tomorrow night or sometime soon and get her over to my place alone to watch a movie or something and try to start kissing her at least.

Any opinion on where I should go from here? From what I know about her, she's the best lady I've come across in a long time, and if it's possible, I'd like to keep her for a long time.

 

[fertileTurtle]

How long should I wait for a reply on this forum before giving up?

 

[Desdinova]

Before the trip, I got some vibes from her that she was really into me and we would probably end up kissing and even having sex . I don't know what went wrong but I went to kiss her right before we left for the trip and she tensed up her lips and told me she'd never kissed a man before.

What I'm getting from this is that you just suddenly presented a kiss to her without getting her comfortable with your touch first. Doing kino first (non-sexual touch) is what makes the first kiss more comfortable. If you suddenly kiss a woman out of the blue without getting her comfortable with touching you, you're most likely going to get a negative reaction.

I want to ask her out tomorrow night or sometime soon and get her over to my place alone to watch a movie or something and try to start kissing her at least.

I'm going to be honest with you... If you have absolutely no clue how to get to this point, you have to accept that you're going to make a lot of mistakes before you can effectively and quickly seduce a woman. Give this girl one more shot and if you don't get a positive reaction, move on. Also, try setting up a REAL date (note: not dinner and a movie) before trying to elevate things to the next level. Do a search on this site for action dates to get some good date ideas.

From what I know about her, she's the best lady I've come across in a long time, and if it's possible, I'd like to keep her for a long time.

You're thinking too far ahead. You haven't even successfully kissed this woman, and you're already thinking of a LTR. This isn't the only woman in the world, and she's not your soulmate. Get a couple months of dating under your belt before you consider keeping a woman around for the long haul.

Also, try keeping to telephone conversation instead of email. Sarcasm doesn't work well in email, which is self-evident seeing what transpired between the two of you.

How long should I wait for a reply on this forum before giving up?

When this forum first started up, many HOURS would go by before ANYONE got a response to their post. It may do you some good to practice a little patience with this forum and succeeding with the opposite sex

 

[Phyzzle]

How long should I wait for a reply on this forum before giving up?

One day.

 

[fertileTurtle]

Desdinova, thanks for the advice. I did have the feeling the moment I tried to kiss her that I didn't ease her into it too much. I think more indirect touching will do next time. I think I was overrating her too quickly. I called her back and told her about the misunderstanding over her emails and I also emailed her and told her we could just be friends. I've basically given up on her after doing a little thinking and if she wants to be more than friends she'll have plenty of opportunity to. I know of a few other ladies I'd like to try in the mean time.

As far as action dates, I can't find much on what they are with the exception of watching a dvd with a date. I would assume that an action date is more along the lines of participating in some activity, such as bowling or working out together as oppossed to sitting down and talking with each other, but I don't know.