"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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where to find approachable women?

spang

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ok i can approach women now. for the past month ive been bar hopping every weekend, hanging out in coffee shops, book stores, walmart, best buy, etc. the problem is when im in those places, all of the women i see are with a dude already. either that or they are in large groups of friends. i would say that 80% of the girls are with a guy already, 15% are in groups, that leaves 5% for me to talk to. that 5% can be unattractive, they could be the female bartenders who are too busy to talk, single moms with kids, etc. i have made approaches in these places, its just slim pickings.
i cant find potential targets lately. im getting out more, but most of my approaches have been at school. it seems like the cold approach on the street or after class is better, with a girl who is by herself. i see more girls by themselves at school.
i had a friend suggest signing up for other classes like ball room dancing, cooking, etc. im not into that stuff at all but i guess i have to do something? this is getting frustrating for me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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georgie24

Senior Don Juan
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seriously dude your looking at this prospective from within a glass box

YOU CAN APPROACH WOMEN ANYWHERE THE MOMENT YOU STEP FOOT OUT YOUR DOOR

do you think women "open" up to be seduced only in certain locations?

be attractive, be confident, approach

its that easy
 

spang

Senior Don Juan
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well its more of an issue of myself. im extremely uncomfortable approaching groups, or women who are already speaking to someone else. im dont like trying to talk them when they are busy. its not the location, its the situation. hell im still uncomforable approaching women period but i make myself do it.
like the other day i was in the gym and there was this girl working out on a machine. there were a lot of people on treadmills on the row behind her. i wanted to approach her badly but i couldnt make myself do it. busy target+people watching me=much more stress.
 

spang

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like said its not location its the situation. but youre saying im still not confident enough?
 

PDubb75

Master Don Juan
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One of my favorite places to approach is at a sporting event. The bleachers in Wrigley Field is a gold mine. It is stadium-style seating, and if the sun is out, most girls are there in bikinis. They are all drinking, having fun, and it's so easy to open. Same is for when I go to Bears games and tailgate in the parking lot beforehand. So easy to start up convos with anyone in these settings, if you keep it fun and light.

But georgie is right. Anywhere and everywhere. You just may need to change the method of approaching for different settings.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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spang

Senior Don Juan
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i make approaches at school. there i am surrounded by beautiful girls all younger than me, but a lot of them are immature and rude. if i go in a store or the mall, women are never alone. its always in groups or with their man. im not going to bars anymore because every girl there is with a guy. even at school its the same problem. this is real problem for me. how do i deal with it?
for example, theres a girl in my engineering class who i sit beside and we got to talking. theres this guy who i guess is her "friend" who sits by her in class and seems to follow her around after class. i wish that fvcker would go away so i can get her number. im not sure what his agenda is, but im uncomfortable making my move when hes there.
does anybody ever just spit it out "hey let me call you sometime, whats your number" right in front of her guy friends? i hate other people seeing me do this.
 

bluenorther

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 14, 2005
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I sometimes get asked to add "color" to local events by dressing in period attire. For some reason, you can approach ANYBODY this way! The barriers vanish. If I stop for errands on the way home, it's no different-- people open up.
 
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