Where the hell did I go wrong??

[pg5781]

I’m at this wedding two Saturdays ago and my one friend comes up to me and tells me that this HB9 thinks I’m so hot and she’s single. So I end up talking to her at the wedding and eventually, she ended up meeting me at this club we went to after wedding. We hit it off and I had her laughing the whole night. Kino, C+F, you name it, I was workin it and she ate it all up. So at the end she gives me her number and says I’ll be around all next week (she works about 30 minutes away from my town and she has her own place there but she comes home every weekend). I’m going to list a brief review of what happened the following week and I hope you guys tell me where I went wrong.

Saturday- got the number
Tuesday- called her, she didn’t answer but she called me back 15 minutes later. We spoke for about 5 minutes and I asked her out for Thursday. She said she cant but Friday night would be better. She said she will be home at around 7:00 Friday and to call her.

Friday- called her, she didn’t pick up. She calls back 30 minutes later. She said she is feeling like crap and is just relaxing watching a movie. We talk for about 20 minutes (I know a mistake, but the conversation was very good.). At the end of the conversation she asks me if I’m doing anything during the day Saturday. I told her that I have a lot of things to do, etc. She says, “ I have nothing planned, I just want to go to the gym, then shop, so call me tomorrow and we’ll hang out”.

Saturday- I called her at around 4:00. She didn’t answer but called me back 15 minutes later. She was shopping at the mall. We spoke for about 10 minutes, everything was normal, she was laughing a lot as ususal. So I end it with, “I’ll let you get back to your shopping”, she says ok and then says “can I call you when I get out?” “will you be around?” I told her I have some things to do but call me anyway. She said Ok, and that was it.

I haven’t heard from her since. I called last night at around 8:00, and left a message but she hasn’t called back. Obviously the girl isn’t going to call back and shes not interested. I just don’t understand how interest level went from sky high to the point I’m at now. I can usually tell when things aren’t clicking with someone, but it was obvious that we were clicking just from the conversations we’ve had. Maybe I’m being naïve but this has been bothering me so much. I thought maybe if I listed what I did above, maybe you guys can tell me where I went wrong.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

my oppinion, you called too much. 4x in one week, and you've only met up with her at the intial approach. You also said you were busy saturday, she asked you to call her and you did. I would've said something like"ohh i dunno jen im real busy saturday doing alot of stuff, if you're lucky ill give ya a ring" See how the power kinda shifted? anyways. I dont really see what you did wrong, you seem to be a good conversationalist. I'd call her in a week and tell her you are somewhere and ask if she wants to meet up and keep you company or something.

 

[Desdinova]

We spoke for about 5 minutes and I asked her out for Thursday. She said she cant but Friday night would be better. She said she will be home at around 7:00 Friday and to call her.

When she mentioned Friday is good for her, that's when you take control and proceed to tell her the plan. Tell her how you will meet (pick her up, meet her), tell her where, and tell her what time. The worst she can do is call back and cancel.

Solid plans will help prevent the b1tch from playing this bull5hit phone tag.

 

[Wyldfire]

Your first mistake was not having a set date plan for Friday. It was just tentative by the way you described things. She didn't feel good and no solid plans seemed to be set, so she gave you a counter offer to do something Saturday. Again, you didn't appear to set any solid plans. You're supposed to lead...not just say "let's get together". Get together and do what? Be more specific and have a plan. She actually counter offered twice and you just let the ball drop and didn't offer a specific plan, time and place to get together. There's nothing wrong with her interest level (or there wasn't). The problem seems to be your indecision and lack of planning.

 

[DJDamage]

Notice how she took control of the situation?! She had you like a puppy on a leash by keeping on saying: CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME ,,, ENOUGH I SAY!!

You needed to take control, you should have called her once, let her know what are the plans and thats it. If she bulks then you tell her " we will talk another time". Don't tell her when or if you call her. In the mean time you should have been working on a backup plan by sarging other chicks to take her place. You never want them to know that you are desperate and that they can wrap you around their little finger and tell you when, how and where they will be available. After a week you should have called again, if she gave you the run around excuse again, rip up her number.

Originally posted by pg5781
Friday- called her, she didn’t pick up. She calls back 30 minutes later. She said she is feeling like crap and is just relaxing watching a movie. We talk for about 20 minutes (I know a mistake, but the conversation was very good.). At the end of the conversation she asks me if I’m doing anything during the day Saturday. I told her that I have a lot of things to do, etc. She says, “ I have nothing planned, I just want to go to the gym, then shop, so call me tomorrow and we’ll hang out”.

If a chick was really really interested she would have taken a shower and got ready for the date and wouldn't come up with a lame excuse " I feel like crap" ARE YOU SICK?? Go the the Doctor!! No?? If she was really high on you she would have come to see you even if she had a high fever!! You weren't on her top priority list bro. You should have never called her on saturday when she told you to do so, you run your own agenda not hers! if she likes it then its great if not then forget about her.

 

[pg5781]

I probably should’ve told you a little about this girl. She is 23, a very classy, old fashioned girl. Her family has a lot of money but she doesn’t act snobby or stuck up as you would think, she’s very down to earth. She told me the night I met her, she doesn’t go for the “player” types, and just likes a guy who doesn’t play games, and that she’s looking for someone who she can see herself settling down with. So when I heard this, I knew I would have to tone down the “game” just a bit. I’m also looking to settle down (I’m 26, I know I’m crazy) but I’ve done enough playing in my day and would like to get a LTR going soon. I still used C+F and teasing, and kino, etc. but I brought it down a couple of notches.

Anyway, thanks for the replies guys. You are right, I should’ve made some set plans when the opportunity arose. I just don’t see how that is related to the fact that she hasn’t called me. I could understand if she flaked on me on a date or something. The last conversation we had on Saturday, she was asking me all these personal questions (at the damn mall too) that someone who is interested would ask. She says she will call, then I don’t hear from her. Very strange

Gimmeyofonenumba: you said I should call her in a week, sorry that isn’t happening. I called last night and left a message and that will be the last attempt I make. If she calls me back, it will take a major excuse to get me to continue with this thing.

We’ll see what happens, but I’m not stupid, I could see the writing on the wall. I’m just a little disappointed because in my mind, the chemistry was there. Thanks guys

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by pg5781
She told me the night I met her, she doesn’t go for the “player” types, and just likes a guy who doesn’t play games, and that she’s looking for someone who she can see herself settling down with. So when I heard this, I knew I would have to tone down the “game” just a bit.

She lied to you.

Women who say they don't go for the player type actually love them! that is how she knows not to go for that "type" through experience. Its a typical response, where she tries to be logical but in the end she always follows her emotions and goes after the player. Don't tone down your game for anybody, because its just a sh1t test for them to sifer through those who are the pretenders vs the real thing.

 

[CrotchSniffer]

You know what's funny? You keep telling her you have stuff to do, but it totally falls flat because you call her too often. You started off well, but she smelled BS and decided to leave you on the backburner.

The solution is simple. Never concentrate all your game on one chick. Make sure that a gal has competition...they can smell this from a mile away and its a turn on to "win" you from the other playerettes.

When you finally do decide to make your move, make it decisive....have a definite plan and take command. Try not to go the typical dinner/movie route. Take her to see a band, art exhibit or go shoot some pool...if possible, make it relevant to a conversation you had, this helps solidify things a bit.

Never, EVER ask her what she wants to do.You want to stand out from the losers who have no idea what to do once they actually have a woman's interest.

And for the record, "hanging out" is not a plan by any stretch of the imagination. Engrave these words on your subconscious...

"The man with no plan ends up with his hand!

 

[Serialized3]

that used to happen to me all the time

What you did wrong:

1.) You happened upon a girl who likes to play games with guys (she's playing you like you're an XBOX son, hot chicks always do)

It doesnt matter what kind of family she's from and it definately doenst matter what she says she's about and what she says she likes in guys. Actions speak thousands of times louder than words, and her actions and words aren't congruent.

2.) When you made arrangements to meet her on friday night, she asked you to call her before around 7 before you came over. Hot girls are busy on weekends man, and it's quite possible that you were just a backup plan just in case her wild party/dinner with friends/ date with another dude fell through. I mean sh!t dude, she would rather spend time at home watching a fvcking dvd than hang out with you on a friday night? That didn't set off your "WTF? Alert"??

3.) Never, ever, ever ever ever ever ever leave it up to a girl to call you back man. They almost never do.

If you don't believe me man, search my posts and you can read about the time hot pvssy basically fell in my lap and I managed to fvck it all up by not making a good plan and stupid phone games with a HB.

What you should have done:

When you called, tell her "Hey we're going to XZXXZ on friday night and I'll pick you up at 8 allright"

Live and learn man.

 

[Desdinova]

She told me the night I met her, she doesn’t go for the “player” types, and just likes a guy who doesn’t play games, and that she’s looking for someone who she can see herself settling down with. So when I heard this, I knew I would have to tone down the “game” just a bit.

You fell for that 5hit? What she told you is irrelevant. Ever hear women b1tch about how they seem to ALWAYS end up with the a55holes? Women are naturally attracted to the man who will give them an emotional rollercoaster ride. What she says and what she does are two different things.

Then she proceeds to give YOU the runaround despite her apparent anti-game playing attitude. Is she a hypocrite? Yes. Does she know what she's doing? Yes. She's trying to blow you off because you failed to attract her by triggering her emotions.

The next guy she falls for is going to play "games" with her because she fvcking loves the emotional rollercoaster ride.

 

[flexion_]

I'm not sure why you didn't set up firm plans for that Friday. There is no reason to have to call someone the day-of a date unless you are running late or something changes.

Listen, if she won't commit to a date/time then she just isn't interested in you. You are essentially an AWs back up plan an nothing more.

I wouldn't worry about it too much and don't waste your time calling her anymore.

 

[pg5781]

Thanks for the replies, they all make sense because these are the things ive learned from this site and have been using for a while now and teaching my friends. For some reason, I completely ignored all those principles and failed miserably. I guess I was blinded by this girls hotness.

Where I messed up, and you guys pointed this out was my inability to get a set date planned. My game is so much better in person than on the phone because (I know this going to sound bad and conceited) I’m a very attractive guy and having that and mixing up C+F, eye contact and kino all together, usually means game over. I failed to capitalize on our great start and didn’t take control of the relationship as I normally do. I’ve been with some very attractive girls, but this one was by far the hottest so I think I tried too hard to please her rather than stick with my guns and play the game. Lesson learned, do not ever stray away from your game.

This one stings though because she was the first girl I met in a while who is all of the following: smoking hot, intelligent, motivated and driven, and is very down to earth. Definite LTR material which is what I’m looking for. I can go out tonight and easily find other girls but this is the one I had my eye on for a while and I’m disappointed I blew it. Life goes on.

Thanks for the replies

 

[pg5781]

Well guys, she just called and left me a voice mail. She’s been in New York all week. She apologized numerous times for not getting back to me sooner.

Now its time to turn this whole thing around…..

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Originally posted by pg5781
Well guys, she just called and left me a voice mail. She’s been in New York all week. She apologized numerous times for not getting back to me sooner.

Now its time to turn this whole thing around…..

Try not to call so much this time around though--and have a set plan for when she calls you again.

Good luck on that though--she's called you back--and you CAN turn it around.

 

[Desdinova]

Did you set up a date?

 

[pg5781]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Did you set up a date?

I havent called her back, i'm at work right now. She just sent me a text message apologizing again and telling me to call her when i get out of work.

I think i will call her tomorrow

 

[SAYNO]

Originally posted by pg5781
I havent called her back, i'm at work right now. She just sent me a text message apologizing again and telling me to call her when i get out of work.

I think i will call her tomorrow

Great!

Hopefully, if you play your cards right on the next date, you'll get your **** sucked! :woo:


Sayno'

 

[Desdinova]

I havent called her back, i'm at work right now. She just sent me a text message apologizing again and telling me to call her when i get out of work.

I think i will call her tomorrow

This thing has been dragged out long enough. Figure out what you wanna do with her, call her TONIGHT and set up a date. It sounds like the iron is still hot, so take advantage of it before she loses interest. At the rate this thing is being dragged out, it won't be long before she moves on to something more interesting.

Make it an interesting date. No dinner and movie 5hit. Take her to a park to feed ducks. Tell her "I'm going to the park on xxday to feed the ducks, wanna come?"

 

[joekerr31]

f*ck that. tell her you have dates planned for the next two weekends but would love to get together with her in three weeks if she's free.

shes playing you again dude.

think about it. if you were in to some hot chic i dont care if you are in india, you don't wait a week to call her after blowing her off twice already.

YOU ARE GETTING PLAYED

WAKE DA FACK UP MAN

J

 

[Bonhomme]

Your whole mindset is dead wrong

You're coming at it from the wrong direction, pg. Putting way too much value on her, and she senses it, and has therefore devalued you. You're doing some of the "right things," but from the wrong mindset, i.e.: "this is what I should do to win over the girl." You've gotta think in terms of what she has to do (or not do) to win you over.

Play from that attitude -- with a sort of easy self-assurance, not being a nazi azzhole about it, if you catch my drift -- and you'll do the right things automatically, and things will go as well as they can with any woman, given the overall set of circumstances.

Also, as some of the others have mentioned, you gotta lead, rather than follow.

So ignore this gal for the time being, and ponder the above. If she's interested enough, she'll contact you to find out "what happened to you." But by then, she'll be one of many trying to win you over, right?