Where do you meet girls/pick up girls?

[pyros]

Hi.

I'm now 26 and I just had a LTR, 2.5 years, that recently ended. First and only LTR.
All my guy friends are not very succesful with girls. None of us is a weirdo or anything, we're just regular guys.
We've been complaining since we were 20 that we don't meet many girls, we have zero girl friends. We all went to scientific highschool, with almost zero girls there. Then we studied engineering, with very few girls (some trolls were present).
We go to the gym regularly, girls do go too, but it seems we're separated anyways. They go to aerobic, aerobox etc., we guys go to lift some weight.

Some nights we all try to pick up girls in bars and clubs but, I do not like this scene very much, never liked it, so I have tried to pick up girls there just in a few occasions.
I'm outgoing and I can flirt with girls (normally during the day), etc, etc, and they show interest in me, but this happens rarely because as I said before, I DO NOT meet girls often, this is the f*** problem.
So I've joined a ballroom class and I'll try to join another salsa class.

Question:
Do you guys try to talk and to pick up girls anywhere? let's say at the gym? or at a shop?
I've been watching some pick-up videos, so since I broke up with my ex I've tried to pick up some girls. I got three numbers, but it's very difficult to overcome approach anxiety. For example, I see a cute girl at the gym, she's exercising...it's too hard to just go there and start a conversation...I get blocked.
In other situations where I do not have to do a direct approach, it's easy to talk to the girl I like, have a nice chat, and get her number. This is not a problem.
I think to myself: you don't know many girls, you do not have the chance to meet them, if you do not do direct approachs you're gonna have to wait till some magic day when you meet a hot girl by chance (like I did with my ex). This may take very long, or may not happen, you gotta move your ass. I wanna make out, have sex with a random girl, and then a LTR again.


Do you do direct approachs? in shops? coffe-shops? the gym?
how do you do it? do you succeed? how many times in a month you pick up girls this way?
I've been watching 'simple pick-up' videos. They have balls, but I wonder how many times they get rejected, and how many they actually have a date, or have sex with the girls they met...


Thank you.

 

[Kenny Powers]

i've asked this question here before and have yet to receive a solid answer. Menshealth.com and askmen.com have some stuff on this and a lot of good guy advice in general, but its not anything ground breaking.

It seems you atleast have the benefit of having friends who are in a similar situation and i assume have some game as well. I always see a group of 4-5 girls at the bars i go to sitting alone. I rarely approach though because maintaining the attention of 1 or 2 girls is hard enough. You guys should sit near them then open with a question to settle a debate your having (something about clothing, movies or music is good)

Then invite them over to hang with you guys. I promise they will say yes unless they're biitches or are waiting for friends. Few guys approach girls they dont know at bars, even fewer approach groups and fewer still succeed with groups. Therefore they will be excited to have a big diverse group of guys to talk to and hang with.

However if you get them to come over you guys have to work extra hard to e social and entertaining. Play a drinking game or something. Then at the end of the night get the # of the girl you clicked with the most and/or invite the group to pregame or meet up at another bar with you guys.

How social your group is will play a huge role in this as I've tried similar things but too many of my friends are terrible at being social with new people that it fails.

Other than that friends of friends and bar game is your best bet. Try talking to girls whenever possible during the day too. Its really hard to get a legit # close but possible. I've actually come close with a few on a bus - one dug me but had a bf. Anytime a girl is bored she will be excited if you talk to her. Keeping her interested though is the real trick

Hopefully others can provide better advice

 

[ilikecharlene]

IMO, there is no set place. Long ago, people just to think bars/clubs were the set place, but now I think anything goes. I never understood why bars/clubs should be the set place. A person can meet their life love (not soulmate, I hate the term lol) at work, as a neighbour in a block of flats/apartments, at church, in the gym, out shopping for groceries, or through mutual friends.

It takes confidence to talk to women in public, and confidence face rejection, but IMO it's best to think positively. OK, so one woman rejects you, there are literally many millions out there who are open!

 

[loveorlust]

What's up loser,

First of all, stop calling women trolls. Let me let you in on something: if you want to succeed with women, you're gonna have to give the "trolls" a chance too. Haven't you heard of starting from scratch, working your way up, earning your stripes? well it applies to pick up too.

As for where to pick up women, I don't like clubs either. I don't feel as comfortable there. I like picking up women anywhere besides clubs and bars.. stores, shopping malls, starbucs BUT ONLY if I'm there for something OTHER than picking up girls. Which brings me to my next point. WHEN TO PICK UP. I find it's best to pick up women when you're out and about. For example, if I'm on my way to a meeting and I happen to see an attrative girl walking I'll go and talk to her. If you go out with the intention to pick up girls, and "venue hop" from one place to the next looking for girls like a predator, you may develop a creeper vibe and it will f@#$% up your game. Girls sense that sh@t and respond accordingly.

And yes, I succeed. I've gotten to the point in my pick up game where I don't waste a lot of time and still meet girls who are interested. And yes, pick up works. And those guys you see in videos probably do get laid, cause I get laid. Modesty aside. And one final word: pick up will always be a numbers game, unfortunately. There will always be girls you approach who will not be interested in you. Don't take it personal, just know that you can intrigue, impress and flatter 99.9% of the women you approach but you can't have them all.. unfortunately.

 

[pyros]

Hi.

But, if you're let's say in a shop, and you see a girl you like, you just go to her and try to start a conversation with her?
but do you do in a way it is obvious you just went to flirt with her?
or do you do 'indirect approach', I mean, you try to hide your intention?

I say this because, I've just picked-up a girl in a shop once, one at the gym, and one at a cafe. But you know, in these three ocassions I was feeling very good, so the pick-up came naturally. But the majority of the time, I get this ******* approach anxiety. I say to myself that the only way to kill this anxiety is to actually approach girls.
Many times I see girls in the bus, at the cinema etc which I would like to pick-up, try to get to know them, but it is akward to just 'go' and start a conversation. But if I don't do that, the only option left is to wait till some cute girl just crosses my way...I'm not that patient.

I don't know if many guys do this or not. My friends do not. But it is some skill I want to develop.
I think the majority of guys just meet some girl by chance, at some point. But I ask to myself:
Don't you wanna be able to pick up the girl you like, wherever you might see her?
I see so many cute girls at the library, in the streets...but there is no interaction unless I start it directly.
you follow?

 

[K2000kidd]

Anywhere BUT a bar/club. Any place where you can get her as a captive audience is best. Chat up women while going about your day, paying your taxes, waiting in line at the post office, getting your car worked on, buying a TV/laptop or anywhere else guys aren't swarming her. Her defense will be down cause your just doing mundane day to day stuff and didn't go there to pick up women

TIP*** Cashiers/waitresses/bank tellers/airline stewardesses, are being paid to be polite. they aren't REALLY interested. YMMV

 

[oxford comma]

Anywhere BUT a bar/club. Any place where you can get her as a captive audience is best. Chat up women while going about your day, paying your taxes, waiting in line at the post office, getting your car worked on, buying a TV/laptop or anywhere else guys aren't swarming her. Her defense will be down cause your just doing mundane day to day stuff and didn't go there to pick up women

TIP*** Cashiers/waitresses/bank tellers/airline stewardesses, are being paid to be polite. they aren't REALLY interested. YMMV

i disagree with your first and last point. of course you can pick up a girl in a bar or club. it happens all the time, you just have to go about it differently. you have to be more aggressive. And just because people are paid to be polite initially, doesn't mean they cant become attracted to someone.

 

[ilikecharlene]

Hi.

But, if you're let's say in a shop, and you see a girl you like, you just go to her and try to start a conversation with her?
but do you do in a way it is obvious you just went to flirt with her?
or do you do 'indirect approach', I mean, you try to hide your intention?

I say this because, I've just picked-up a girl in a shop once, one at the gym, and one at a cafe. But you know, in these three ocassions I was feeling very good, so the pick-up came naturally. But the majority of the time, I get this ******* approach anxiety. I say to myself that the only way to kill this anxiety is to actually approach girls.
Many times I see girls in the bus, at the cinema etc which I would like to pick-up, try to get to know them, but it is akward to just 'go' and start a conversation. But if I don't do that, the only option left is to wait till some cute girl just crosses my way...I'm not that patient.

I don't know if many guys do this or not. My friends do not. But it is some skill I want to develop.
I think the majority of guys just meet some girl by chance, at some point. But I ask to myself:
Don't you wanna be able to pick up the girl you like, wherever you might see her?
I see so many cute girls at the library, in the streets...but there is no interaction unless I start it directly.
you follow?

That's no issue, but this is where conversation skills or what people call game/confidence comes in. Flirting blatantly in a library will turn girls off, but it is how one approaches that is key. Make a point about a book she is reading, or a course she is studying.

I often find that class is a great way to meet girls, at the least you have a common grounding to build on, and use that as means to build rapport.