Where Do You Draw the Line?!

[DJDamage]

Latley there seems to be a consensus around this forum that women are like 5 year olds and are held hostage by their emotions. By that reasoning anything that she does whether she acts flakey, disrespect you or gives you constant sh1t test means that its indication of low interest and that you shouldn't try to figure it out or held her accountable.

But What happens when you are in LTR?? if all of the sudden she starts acting up ,should you just say to yourself " oh well she is a woman she is hostage to her emotions, its not her fault!!!"

Am I wrong here in thinking that a man shouldn't just accept that women are such irrational creatures that cannot be faulted for acting up due to having excuse that she is biologically build this way??!! When a woman does wrong to you should you even show that you are upset with her??! You cannot play the indiffrence card for ever, eventually you are going to drop your guard when you think she is into you and let yourself feel some type of emotional connection no?! Also regarding LTR it seems to me that no matter how good it is there will be fights and that you shouldn't really try to hide your emotions if she ends up disrespecting or insulting you.

DJD

 

[BobFuest]

i am trying to answer this one myself too.
I was in an LTR and I think when i stopped accepting or using humor to counter act this behavior is when i started losing. I think its a battle sometimes. You cannot show them that they shake you. If it is too much, leave before you have a chance to react.When you react with emotion they react with indifference and then it upsets you more right? so use it against them and LEAVE. walk out and tax them by taking away your time. It may not always work but it is better then getting upset or becomin obsessive.

 

[Desdinova]

This is a fantastic question.

Now, for a long time I've been stating that women react to their emotions, but I woudn't go so far as to say that they're so enslaved by them that they've become deaf, blind, lack self-control and have a learning handicap.

I'm going to ask this question: If you don't combat a woman's emotional idiocy, who's going to do it? Another woman? FORGET IT.

Logic is the offset to emotion (and vice versa), and men are the only ones who are capable of this job. Just because a woman is emotional, is that a good reason for her to go nuts? No, just like men shouldn't be going around raping every woman they can because they naturally enjoy a lot of sex.

 

[DJDamage]

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I'm going to ask this question: If you don't combat a woman's emotional idiocy, who's going to do it? Another woman? FORGET IT.

But how do you combat and settle down that emotional idiocy. A woman can also fight back. Suppose she does all those things mentioned above, what are you suppose to do about them??!!

1) Give her an Ultamitum?: That will lead her to having all the power.

2) Be angry ?: She now knows your weak spots and can push your buttons

3) Be indifference? : Showing you don't care will just add fuel to the fire.

4) playfully respond? : shows you don't have balls and is afraid of confrontation.

5) Confront her quietly about her behaviour?: Being logical when dealing with emotional woman will not get through to her.

6) Fvck LTR : if she does all this and you can't calm the storm or she can't respect you then neither of you should be together.

It seems like fights are inevitable in any relationship and that its up to you to decide what stragedy to take and decide if she is worth it, if at all.

DJD

 

[Friendly Otter]

No 5. Tell her what you think, in a calm and firm manner. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but it's the best thing to do. If the girl who likes you enough to be in a relationship with you won't listen when you're telling her something important, well....

Never give ultimatums. Giving an ultimatum shows that you are prepared to leave the relationship, which means it is already over. You're not supposed to be able to contemplate leaving if you have the loving feelings that create a relationship.

 

[Desdinova]

No 5. Tell her what you think, in a calm and firm manner. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but it's the best thing to do.

Agreed. If she won't listen, leave her to calm the hell down and return to the discussion when she's not acting crazy.

Also, if you find yourself getting heated up in the argument, get the hell out of it and take a break to calm yourself down.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Some cool stuff.....

I just read something I thought was very applicable and interesting.

I have the opportunity to assist in the care of a special needs child. I felt, to do him justice, I should read a few resources about his conditions and read some studies that have shown beneficial to children with his issues.

I am reading one book called Bring Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson (c) 2001. It is a book about male behaviors and it stated the following findings:

The difference in boys and girls.

#1 The hormone testosterone (this is largely responsible for maleness) show up in the six to seventh week after conception. Prior to this all fetus' are thought female. At this time a spike of the Y chromosome begins masculinizing the tiny body into a boy. This “hormonal bath” so to say, washes over the walnut shaped brain altering it in many ways. Color and shape changes for one thing and the corpus callosum, these are the rope like fibers that connect the to sides of the brain, are damaged making the brain less efficient. (Calm down and read on) It just limits the electrical transmissions that can flow from one side to the other, this does have lifelong implications however.

GET THIS: A man will have to think longer about what he believes-especially about something with an emotional component!!!!

#2 This “bath” can also limit language development and many females are found to more articulate. (See that is why we talk a lot!!!)

#3 It also states that without many of these fibers the male body develops faster large muscle control. Male minds do not over think the consequences of rougher, tougher play.

#4 Another flood or “bath” of testosterone occurs at the onset of puberty. This causes pubic hair, squeaky voices, larger muscles, etc…leading on into adult masculinity. A girl’s estrogen can also peak at this time, creating her changes into womanhood.

It list may more differences that seem so applicable to the development of males vs. female. Many of these differences explain the haywire chemical clash of men and women.

I thought this was some great information and I hope you did too. If not, I apologize for wasting your time.

We are all different creatures.

I do not feel any human can be held hostage by anything. Emotional or not, control is always maintainable. A woman has a choice, she can acknowledge her emotional balances or she can use it as a crutch, I view the later as a weaker approach.

I think it comes with maturity. A woman can exercise discretion in her thoughts, words and actions, just as a man can do. You decide how fast you drive, what you eat, smoke or drink. You can control anger and not strike out. A woman can do the same if she is willing to acknowledge these tendencies and practices self control. Zillions and zillions of books out there for woman to use to reign and handle their emotions, she simply needs to apply it to herself.

I guess the Mother Goose was trying to tell us something with:

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails,[1]
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice, and everything nice,[2]
That's what little girls are made of.

The book site various references for this study. I will be back in my office on Tuesday if anyone wants a fax copy of the studies and references, just shoot me a PM.

Have a great weekend!
-pix

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DJ DAMAGE, my concern is that it's not the emotionality of women that is at the root of the problem, but an inability on the part of the average male to separate himself from his emotions. I find that it's guys that wallow in this sad-sack, ONEitis, self-pity in the thinking that it in someway makes them more like women (and therefore more 'uniquely' attractive) and are more often than not prone to acts of self-destruction and self-debasement when forced to face the consequences that their over-emotionality lead them to within an LTR in the first place.

Women are going to do what women are going to do - respond to their emotionality. That's not to say women generally don't posess the capacity for critical thinking, they do, but this process is always tempered by how their conditions are making them feel. Have a look at women in the check out line at the grocery store and watch their subtle reactions to the impulse buying urge they go through when they're forced to wait a few minutes to pay for their items. The rational facilities tell them they should resist the impulse to buy some gum, that tabloid or the mini astrology book, but the gratification of buying the Brad-Jen-Angelina celebrity rag is induced by how it makes them feel.

It's men that are being conditioned to internalize and react like women that's at issue. Women don't want to have LTRs with other women (with the notable exceptions), they want Men, the feminine and the masculine are meant to be complimentary to each other, not adversarial, and not homogenus. Androgyny is a dead end, but this is exactly what's being promoted as an accepted goal state. The male biological qualities that BADPIXIE was so ready to wave a flag about are exactly the ones that make Men what they are and attract women to them. A healthy understanding and acceptance of the positive and negative qualities of both genders makes for a better rounded individual. The nurturing that my wife endears into my daughter is equally important as the risk taking potential I instill in her. With any luck, by the time she's 18 she knows how to feel empathy for someone else AND knows that she can't live life with her hands in her pockets.

I catch a lot of criticism for advising guys not to even think of monogamy untill they're at least 28. The loudest of these are the same guys who bemoan their romantic choices and how convoluted or illogical women are. All they think is that I'm suggesting they bang as many chicks as humanly possible as being the path to enlightenment, but that's only the response I'd expect from an emotionally and rationally immature guy. Guys simply haven't learned how to understand women until they've experienced enough to teach them otherwise. That 22 y.o. kid with his pain-in-the-ass girlfriend isn't seeing that his lack of understanding how things really work is what's retarding his growth.

 

[al77]

Latley there seems to be a consensus around this forum that women are like 5 year olds and are held hostage by their emotions. By that reasoning anything that she does whether she acts flakey, disrespect you or gives you constant sh1t test means that its indication of low interest and that you shouldn't try to figure it out or held her accountable.

But What happens when you are in LTR??

You obviously is seeking an easy solution. Here is a simple analogy to a simple solution: treat women like a 5 year old.
When you are a father of a 5y.o. you assume all teh power, you don't treat a 5 y.o. liek an adult, you just provide a "window" for him\her into adulthood.
If a kid will start crying.. would get angry and think "she acts flakey, disrespect gives a constant sh1t test?". Maybe, but you will deal with it ANYWAY, because you know you are in charge, you have all the power. Know know what to do with a kid, and teh confidence comes from teh fact that you have the power. With women you have way less power, but still it is you who plays a role of a sane, logical parent and her who is playing the role of a kid.

 

[ElChoclo]

If they want to act like a 5 year old, I suppose they want you to treat them like one. Some 5 year olds get the message if you yell at them. Others need time out in their room. Its currently unfashionable to belt 5 year olds, but some traditionalists still do.

If you joke around when confronted with a disciplinary problem this just makes it more difficult for the child to learn correct behaviour. Indifference also fails as a child training technique. See what happens if you say and do nothing as a bunch of kids tear up the place.