Powersurgeon
Don Juan
Overt infidelity or spinning plates without touching them?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Where do you draw the line of Game in a LTR?
- Thread starter Powersurgeon
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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Do you mean gaming other women, or gaming your GF?
With regards to gaming other women, I keep interested women around but I don't date them. If your LTR happens to go belly up, you'll be instantly showered with other female attention. It's an easy way to keep your confidence high and your spirits up after a breakup.
With regards to gaming your GF, just keep her emotions fluctuating and you'll keep her interested.
With regards to gaming other women, I keep interested women around but I don't date them. If your LTR happens to go belly up, you'll be instantly showered with other female attention. It's an easy way to keep your confidence high and your spirits up after a breakup.
With regards to gaming your GF, just keep her emotions fluctuating and you'll keep her interested.
MOTU
Master Don Juan
What des said, and, in a LTR "game" becomes real leadership. Be a man, take charge, take responsibility. It is what women need to maintain attraction.
Of course, anything can be taken to an extreme, so I am not advocating acting like a dictator or spoiled child monarch. I am talking about real and effective leadership. Set goals, set boundaries, set direction.
Of course, anything can be taken to an extreme, so I am not advocating acting like a dictator or spoiled child monarch. I am talking about real and effective leadership. Set goals, set boundaries, set direction.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Part of the "game" is maintaining your "game" and attraction. Much of it is managed so it's not by accident.
I believe being social with other females that desire you is a good thing and keeps the wife/LTR gf interest peaked.
Also maintaining your physique and your clothes.
A lot of females will try to cut out sex if they feel you have no other options, but if they know you will leave them will perform in the bedroom.
I believe being social with other females that desire you is a good thing and keeps the wife/LTR gf interest peaked.
Also maintaining your physique and your clothes.
A lot of females will try to cut out sex if they feel you have no other options, but if they know you will leave them will perform in the bedroom.
Keep improving your SMV no matter what. Keep working out, dressing well and be a sociable man. You will have social proof by being a leader among both men and women. Also, your GF/wife will see how other women will look at you. In fact, other women will tell her how lucky she is. There's no need to cheat, just make sure there are still potential options if your LTR doesn't work out. Of course, by maintaining your options it makes it more likely that your LTR will work out.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
IASGame
Don Juan
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Related questions about this and dread
I have some questions related to this kind of topic.
I think I have trouble understanding plate-spinning.
If I am in an LTR and don't want to be unfaithful (we can discuss the reasons if necessary, but for now I assume that), am I supposed to still spin a few plates?
If so, what are they key ingredients to this? Presumably the primary goal of Game and plate-spinning in particular is that it directly improves yourself by opening up options (either by giving you more experience or raising self-esteem). But an important secondary goal within an LTR is for this to to indirectly feedback into the significant other (SO), for it to act as dread.
If there are many other women to socialize with in your workplace or a hobby the SO does not participate in, it seems to me that it is unlikely she will even know you are doing it, so it may contribute to the primary but not the secondary goal.
Furthermore, plate theory as described by Rollo is based on honest non-exclusivity, which wouldn't apply to an LTR as I understand it.
Is there a more appropriate term to gaming other women on an ongoing basis if I don't want to have intimacy with them?
Should I prioritize my limited time and effort away from this kind of "in-LTR-plate-spinning" and just focus on applying aspects of Game directly to the SO?
If I should still do this "in-LTR-plate-spinning", I have more questions!
What is the strategy if the social circles between the man and woman have small overlap? If there are few women for you to game that the SO would naturally receive indirect feedback about you from it, it seems harder to reach the secondary goal.
Maybe the point is that one should explicitly attend social events together with the SO for this to take place?
Before I learned about dread I accidentally did this even without the SO's presence, with pictures taken during some event.
That may also be a good way to get dread, because with stills the SO imagination needs to fill in the blanks...
I also have a major (ethical?) worry of applying dread to a SO if she has low self-esteem, but that is probably best to discuss in another post.
I have some questions related to this kind of topic.
I think I have trouble understanding plate-spinning.
If I am in an LTR and don't want to be unfaithful (we can discuss the reasons if necessary, but for now I assume that), am I supposed to still spin a few plates?
If so, what are they key ingredients to this? Presumably the primary goal of Game and plate-spinning in particular is that it directly improves yourself by opening up options (either by giving you more experience or raising self-esteem). But an important secondary goal within an LTR is for this to to indirectly feedback into the significant other (SO), for it to act as dread.
If there are many other women to socialize with in your workplace or a hobby the SO does not participate in, it seems to me that it is unlikely she will even know you are doing it, so it may contribute to the primary but not the secondary goal.
Furthermore, plate theory as described by Rollo is based on honest non-exclusivity, which wouldn't apply to an LTR as I understand it.
Is there a more appropriate term to gaming other women on an ongoing basis if I don't want to have intimacy with them?
Should I prioritize my limited time and effort away from this kind of "in-LTR-plate-spinning" and just focus on applying aspects of Game directly to the SO?
If I should still do this "in-LTR-plate-spinning", I have more questions!
What is the strategy if the social circles between the man and woman have small overlap? If there are few women for you to game that the SO would naturally receive indirect feedback about you from it, it seems harder to reach the secondary goal.
Maybe the point is that one should explicitly attend social events together with the SO for this to take place?
Before I learned about dread I accidentally did this even without the SO's presence, with pictures taken during some event.
That may also be a good way to get dread, because with stills the SO imagination needs to fill in the blanks...
I also have a major (ethical?) worry of applying dread to a SO if she has low self-esteem, but that is probably best to discuss in another post.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Some "dread" is a good thing, and especially if the gossip up the womens grapevine is these other women who want to hop on her husband or LTR boyfriends cawk.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
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You usually don't spin plates while in a LTR. It's counterproductive. The whole point of spinning plates is to keep your options open, (dating, sex) so you don't fall into the trap of committing to ONE woman who's not worth committing to. You spin plates because you enjoy dating, flirting, sex with multiple women, etc.
Spinning plates in an LTR is like looking for another job when you already have a full time secure one; Eventually your current boss will find out what you're doing and fire you.
Don't spin plates in a relationship if there's not mutual agreement of it between you and the woman you're in a relationship with. 9 times out of ten they won't be happy with it.
If you do spin plates, prepare to keep your lies straight and bad karma to come your way.
Don't be a p***y and be upfront with people who willingly invest their time into you.
Spinning plates in an LTR is like looking for another job when you already have a full time secure one; Eventually your current boss will find out what you're doing and fire you.
Don't spin plates in a relationship if there's not mutual agreement of it between you and the woman you're in a relationship with. 9 times out of ten they won't be happy with it.
If you do spin plates, prepare to keep your lies straight and bad karma to come your way.
Don't be a p***y and be upfront with people who willingly invest their time into you.
Powersurgeon
Don Juan
Hey man! I'm not doing anything. Just wondering if it's too soon for me to be in a LTR, I'm just too ****ed up and I don't know if what this at least for now apparently "good girl" is not going to ****e me up more.ThunderMaverick said:
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
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Well yeah, I think ( and YOU think) it's too soon for you to be in a relationship. It usually goes like this:Powersurgeon said:
1. You're attracted to the girl. You ask her out.
2. You go out, talk, have fun and it leads to...
3. Sex, getting to know each other a little better. Many more dates.
4. Taking it to the next level and considering a relationship
5. Getting into a relationship.
Now during actions 1-3 you could still be spinning plates. You both have spoke nothing of commitments and it's still could be considered surface level stuff. When a relationship is discussed boundaries, as well as perks are thrown down. This is also a great time to disclose if the relationship continues to grow in the exclusive.
Where do you think you are at between steps 1 and 5?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Powersurgeon
Don Juan
5, maybe I already ****ed it up
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
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It's easier to tell the truth than live a lie. You're going to eventually trip yourself up. You also have to think about how the girl you're in a relationship's frame will change once you do that. I mean if the girl is head over heels for you then maybe she'll forgive your infidelity. If not, this is her "get out of jail free" card to cheat on a whim, after a bad argument, growing apart because of past transgressions, etc.Powersurgeon said:
Just be straight up. The relationship obviously isn't what you want, so be a man and tell her.
Yeah part of being a man is not wasting peoples time even when it's more convenient for you. I released a hot Asian girlfriend to the wild this year because she had failed my marriage tests but still was a great girlfriend. I knew she wanted a ring so I had to man up. Wasn't easy I really had been thinking about proposing but it was the right thing to do.