"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Where do I stand with this girl?

theCouch

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I had been seeing this really hot girl for about 4 weeks, we have lots of stuff in common, got along great etc etc. so finally we have sex, unprotected, that was great, made her come. then for some stupid reason god only knows, I mention that I am getting tested for STDs to be sure I'm ok. which it turns out that I am. but at the time the results were still pending. looking back I dont know what made me say it and feel really stupid about it.

this freaks her out but I still stay the night and kiss her goodbye the next morning.

anyway before the next time I see her, she sends me a text saying she can only be friends with me. when I talk to her originally about this, she say's it was because I scared her about the STD test.

then she sends me this email:

I don’t really know where to start, but I feel that I at least owe you some sort of explanation.

Firstly I just need you to know, that when I told you that I really liked you, I meant it & didn’t want you to doubt that. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, you’re an awesome guy & I more than admire your goals in what you want to do in life.

To cut a long story short, I think that maybe for me more than anything, I just don’t really know what I want anymore. I’ve had quite a few set backs in the last few years & that’s probably why I feel like I’m just floating along with anything that happens at the time.

You on the other hand, are getting on with what you want & I don’t think I’m going to be of much benefit to you, I certainly would never want to drag you down just because I’m not in that frame of mind at the present time.

I would much rather be, in some way, a driving force behind you, pushing you along with what ever you want to do. Unfortunately I have temporarily lost my momentum, which make’s me realize I would be hindering you & that’s not what I want to do.

Anyway I’m kinda hoping that I have made some sort of sense to you. I can only imagine what you are probably thinking of me, & that’s fair enough.

I don’t expect to get any kind of response from you. Although I fully admit it’s my lose. I can only hope that we can still at least be on speaking terms. I care for you a lot & wish that I was in the right frame of mind & back to my old self to be everything you need & want.


also some other stuff about how she doesnt deserve me.

of course, this doesnt help me, as I really like her, and am really disappointed about this.

so I guess my question is, what is your opinion, have I been dumped?

thanks

Peter
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sav

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translation: you scared her, she doesnt want to be wtih you...

but all hope is not lost!

just have a good time with her and it will happen agian :)

thats my 2c, proceed with the "next her" replies...

edit: btw, all that crap she was saying, is woman-ese for "i dont find you attractive enough"
 

IceCream

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This seems quite complicated however, you shouldn't reject your feelings or your thoughts and ideas of being together with this girl. It was only a mere text. I'd advice you to arrange a "sit down and talk" with her and explain to her what you feel. If you really feel for this girl, you must set things straight. She's misunderstanding your intentions.
 
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