"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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where do i go now?

mintyweasel

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hi all, im new here.

interested to know other guys thoughts on this.

im 45 by the way, so no stranger to the quirks of the fairer sex.

I was trawling a dating site im a member of and spotted a super hot woman, read here profile, which indicated she was sick of players and guys sending her photos of their d#'ks, so I fire off a witty message, and receive one back, we banter back and forth for an hour or so, then i figure, ill just send one saying im off to bed, that she seems lovely and if she ever wants to meet up to get intouch, if not, good luck with her search.
I receive a reply the next day giving me her number (i didnt ask for it), so i text a couple of times, then suggest a chat on the phone, she says yeh, we chat, she sounds very down to earth and easy to talk to. We chat again a few days later for over an hour, turns out she has 3 kids and im pretty sure, been in an abusive relationship, at the end of the convo, its her who says, we should arrange to meet up sometime. I text her a day later suggesting a meet that coming weekend, i get no response until the saturday morning saying she is sorry she didnt get back, busy then night out etc etc, so I say, thats ok and then leave it, i text again on the sunday night asking if she fancied a chat, and get silence. No biggy, I just decide to write that one off and dont contact her again. Then a week later I receive a text from her apologising for no reply, i told her its fine, i just figured she had other stuff going on in her life and that im not one to peruse a women unless she shows interest back, she said she really does want to get to know me.
This girl is a definite 9 out of 10 in the looks department and wont have any problem getting attention, but i suspect shes had many who cant handle the 3 kids thing and also get all possessive and jealous.
Im just now wondering how to play this, ive not suggested a meet up yet, and havent been over keen on texting her, just thought id let it bubble away for a while.
what do you guys think?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Greasy Pig

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I'd say she's definitely fvcking another guy but is trying to keep you around as her "B" or "C" guy.
She came on strong, initiated the phone number etc and then when cold.

Every guy here will tell you that when a woman shows high interest and then suddenly goes to low interest, 99% of the time it means she's met someone else. Sucks.

But welcome and stick around. There's so much to learn.
 

mintyweasel

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Greasy Pig said:
I'd say she's definitely fvcking another guy but is trying to keep you around as her "B" or "C" guy.
She came on strong, initiated the phone number etc and then when cold.

Every guy here will tell you that when a woman shows high interest and then suddenly goes to low interest, 99% of the time it means she's met someone else. Sucks.

But welcome and stick around. There's so much to learn.
yeh im pretty sure of this to and tbh I dont care, ive learned that the best looking women eventually get the most crap and then start craving a guy who can just treat them well instead of using them as arm candy, I just want to get her to the point she will meet me, after that its plain sailing, she already told me the reason she responded to my first message is because it made her laugh, im ok at getting women to like me if i can meet them face to face, any other guy who is on the scene is hopefully just going to make me seem like the better bet, that sounds ****y, but I know from experiance, women warm to me because i can make them laugh, treat them nice and not overpower them.
One thing i forgot to mention is that she told me she used to be a lap dancer, now some guys will find this a huge turn on and then get intimidated by it, others will view her as easy and expect her to put out. Ive met girls who do this for a living before and have found them to be pretty street wise and unlikely to fall for crap lines or stand for guys who drool over them or get clingy.
 

Iceberg

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1- It's some girl you haven't met.

2- She has 3 kids. Even if she's a 9 in the looks department. She's a 3 in the vag department.

3- It's some girl you haven't met.

So I've been in your situation before, and here's the thing that I do. I stop trying. It's internet dating. These people aren't "real" to me until I meet them in real life. And even then, I don't worry about "what is she thinking" until I've at least made out with her.

Think about it - you're confused about some girl you dont even know. Why? Because she wrote you a few times on a dating site and you spoke to her on the phone.

You want to give it another swing? Go ahead. Why not. But if you gotta try this hard for a meetup, then I think that is pretty much the message she's trying to send you.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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MINTY, put an age on your profile. Read the Mature Men's forum rules.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bible_Belt

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This girl is a definite 9 out of 10 in the looks department...turns out she has 3 kids

I'm going to have to see her naked so that I might reconcile those two statements.
 

speed dawg

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Send her a picture of your d1ck.
 

mintyweasel

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Bible_Belt said:
This girl is a definite 9 out of 10 in the looks department...turns out she has 3 kids

I'm going to have to see her naked so that I might reconcile those two statements.
:D doesnt follow, ive seen girls who've had no kids with ropey bodies, and girls who've had a few who were hot. its down to luck, genetics and abit of hard work on their part.
 

mintyweasel

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Iceberg said:
Think about it - you're confused about some girl you dont even know. Why? Because she wrote you a few times on a dating site and you spoke to her on the phone.

You want to give it another swing? Go ahead. Why not. But if you gotta try this hard for a meetup, then I think that is pretty much the message she's trying to send you.
hmm, no im not confused or trying hard, it is what it is and will be what it will be.

I notice alot of the guys here are from USA, I know from experience, the american way of hooking up with women is different to the the british way.
I guess we are alot more subtle, sometimes to our disadvantage. I kind of envy how american guys seem far more confidant in their approach. But, on the flip side,,,ive spent alot of time state side, and its far easier for me to pull there, i guess its alot to do with the accent, i know if i lived there, i wouldnt need to be here asking for opinions :crackup:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SecondHalf

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speed dawg said:
Send her a picture of your d1ck.
That's hilarious!

Best way to do internet dating is get so busy working it, that you're almost relieved when one goes silent. However, I found that it seldom goes silent when you are that busy.

SH
 
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