Where do I go from here? Need Help Please..

[Spyder213]

OK so this is my first post here but I've read a lot of stuff around here but I don't know what to do with this girl and I need some help.

So there is this girl that I've gone out with a few times but before that I was friends with her for a while. Anyway, I really like her. I know it sounds stupid but I havent met I girl I like this much in a long time. I really want to get more serious with her but there is a problem.

The thing is I know she is seeing other guys right now which bothers me a little but we're not exclusive so its not a big deal. The problem is I know she has burned other guys in the past by cheating on them or blowing them off or whatever. So I've been kind of avoiding her recently because at this point I don't want to get too attached to her only to get burned.

So my question is what should I do from here? Do I keep going out with her and try elevate it to an exclusive relationship? Or should I give up on her and move on?

Honestly I cannot have a casual relationship with this girl because I couldn't stand her being with other guys. So should I just go for it?

 

[polok87]

Is she the only girl you are seeing? How does she react to you having other girls on the go if it's the case?

 

[Spyder213]

No Im seeing a couple of other girls just to have options but theyre nothing special really.

Heres the thing, she gets (or acts) pretty jealous and upset when she suspects me seeing other girls, but she will openly talk about other guys and her dates with her friends when I am sitting right next to her. Is that just an attention ***** thing or is she trying to make me jealous or something? Or is she somehow trying to tell me she doesnt want just one guy in her life?

This is all very confusing. :/

 

[polok87]

Never ever show a girl you are jealous or affected by her talking/seeing other guys. This is a killer and a rule I always obey, just play it off when she mentions other guys. The reason she brings it up is to try to get a reaction out of you.

Continue seeing the other girls and approach others as well, if she knows you are wanted by many and high value she will likely try and lock you down to an exclusive relationship. No girls want to share a high value man with plenty of options.

From your post it maybe seems as if you are leaning more towards the exclusive relationship than she is. Whenever she confronts you about your other girls maybe state how you are a single guy having fun. You should always be prepared to walk away.

I noticed you used to be friend with her and have went out with her. Bit strange basing a potential relationship on a few dates no? More importantly have you kissed or slept with her yet?

 

[Spyder213]

No sex yet but shes coming over to my house this week and we playfully talk about it all the time so it will happen soon.

And its not really just a few dates. We hang out and talk a lot in group settings too and we both had been building attraction for a while before we started dating so once we went out things kind of just caught on fire. I know her attraction level for me is very high I'm just kind of stuck on what to do with it..

Thanks for the help by the way, Its really gonna help me out.

 

[Warrior74]

Pedestal. Oneitis. No plates. "it will happen soon" really?
Move on. or at least spin plates so you don't just fall in love. She's not so perfect as she cheats on boyfriends right? Get her off that pedestal bro. YOu need some perspective, the best perspective is extra poon on the side.

 

[Spyder213]

Pedestal. Oneitis. No plates. "it will happen soon" really?
Move on. or at least spin plates so you don't just fall in love. She's not so perfect as she cheats on boyfriends right? Get her off that pedestal bro. YOu need some perspective, the best perspective is extra poon on the side.

Extra poon is fine but I still like this girl more than the other girls.. Is that still putting her on a pedestal? I know shes not perfect thats why Im still hesitant on getting closer to her. Its not like Im chasing after her and shes flaky or uninterested. She actually initiates dates more than I do.

My original question was really if I should show more interest in her and try to pursue an exclusive relationship or not. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt, which actually sounds pretty pathetic I know

 

[Warrior74]

I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt, which actually sounds pretty pathetic I know

Which means what exactly? Does it mean that you would catch feelings for this girl who you know cheats. . And you know you will probably go afc and you know what will happen, but you hope it won't and you call it "scared of getting hurt"? Did I read that right?

 

[Captain]

The problem is I know she has burned other guys in the past by cheating on them or blowing them off or whatever.

Maybe you shouldn't still want to get "serious" with her.... She fvcked them over, she'll do the same to you.

 

[Spyder213]

Which means what exactly? Does it mean that you would catch feelings for this girl who you know cheats. . And you know you will probably go afc and you know what will happen, but you hope it won't and you call it "scared of getting hurt"? Did I read that right?

Ha sort of I guess.. I just dont want to go out with her and get burned, so i think i decided i not gonna do that..