"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Where do I draw the line with favors?

C

Colin O'Brien

Don Juan
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I'm naturally a "nice guy", and not until very recently have I found this site and gone through the whole "I'm an AFC" epiphany that so many of us has experienced. Now I know that being a DJ means having respect for oneself all that.. IE not being a little *****, but I'm wondering if being one means I have to completely forfeit doing any favors or little things that people ask me to do?

Example: this girl I know asks me to help with her college essay. I've helped many classmates with college essays so it would be easy for me. So I read through it, make constructive criticisms, provide intelligent insights, and when we were done it looked really good. I mean, of course if she had asked me to do something like "go to the vending machine and get me some skittles" I would have refused. But this is something important, its a college essay! I'm not going to lie, I'm a good editor, and she knew it, so I helped her out.

Is this the kind Is this the kind of thing that a successful DJ would avoid? It could just be the natural "nice guy"-ness in me saying this, but it seems totally fine with me.

Same kind of thing if a girl asks if she can borrow my pencil. I don't care, I'm not using it, so why would I say no? I'd do the same thing no matter the gender of the person. Is this wrong?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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