Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Where do I draw the line with favors?

Colin O'Brien

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2008
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I'm naturally a "nice guy", and not until very recently have I found this site and gone through the whole "I'm an AFC" epiphany that so many of us has experienced. Now I know that being a DJ means having respect for oneself all that.. IE not being a little *****, but I'm wondering if being one means I have to completely forfeit doing any favors or little things that people ask me to do?

Example: this girl I know asks me to help with her college essay. I've helped many classmates with college essays so it would be easy for me. So I read through it, make constructive criticisms, provide intelligent insights, and when we were done it looked really good. I mean, of course if she had asked me to do something like "go to the vending machine and get me some skittles" I would have refused. But this is something important, its a college essay! I'm not going to lie, I'm a good editor, and she knew it, so I helped her out.

Is this the kind Is this the kind of thing that a successful DJ would avoid? It could just be the natural "nice guy"-ness in me saying this, but it seems totally fine with me.

Same kind of thing if a girl asks if she can borrow my pencil. I don't care, I'm not using it, so why would I say no? I'd do the same thing no matter the gender of the person. Is this wrong?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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