Where do guys make approaches on girls?

[3agle 3yes]

The problem I see here is that when most guys think about cold approaching in a bar or a club they think about going up to some girl and hitting on her. I don't know if this has ever been a good thing to do in general.

The real problem I think, is that there are guys who aren't there for any other purpose than the women. They show up, don't talk to anyone apart from people they know and (if they ever get up the courage) speak to a girl they like.

The guys who are good in bars and clubs are good with people first and foremost. If you're having a good time and the people you're with are having good time, other people will notice and be much more receptive. Where as, if you sit in the corner by yourself and don't say anything to anyone and then just cold approach women it's not going to work as well.

When I do go to do these places (I don't do often), I focus on interacting with people first, it's usually good to know the best spots to hit where ever you are and go there often so you can get to know the important people. Most of the decent girls are usually with people and are hard to get to directly anyway.

 

[Tenacity]

I usually like your posts but I have to disagree with you about cold approaches. There still being done more then you think.

Girls might not go to the bar alone but they will go with one or more other girls. We do approaches at the bar all the time. Two of my friends have been gaming for many years. They pull girls at the bar quite often.

I know a guy who cold approached a girl at a chipotle last week and he banged her a couple hours later.

Cold approach is far from dead.

- Some people are still using VCRs as well, in a market where most people are using DVR, Blue Ray, and DVDs.

- Some people are still using cassette tapes as well, in a market where people are carrying music in their cell phone.

- Some people are still using landline telephones as well, in a market where people are carrying around iPhones.

Hey, I'm not telling you guys what to do....if you want to go out to your local grocery store, local Wendy's, the gas station, and the bar/club/lounge.......running around like a chicken with his head SLICED off "cold-approaching" random pieces of A.SS that walk by.....go ahead and knock yourself out.

But a much better way is to use either Social Media, Online Dating, or External Social Circles/Social Networks. Social Media includes women you find on Facebook, Instragram, etc. Online Dating includes the POF, OKC, Tinder, and Match platforms. External Social Circles are groups you are ALREADY a part of, that you meet women who are also a part of the group or associated with the group in some form or fashion, such as church groups, professional/trade groups, college alumni groups, college groups in general, hobby groups, women who go to the same gym as you, women who are in the same class as you, etc.

TENACITY has much better shyt to do with his time than to run around like a chicken with his head sliced off, "cold-approaching" random pieces of A.SS that walk by. Instead, I'm going to LEVERAGE Social Media, Online Dating, and External Social Circles which:

- Allows me to reach more women FASTER
- Allows me to rack up more numbers FASTER
- Allows me to rack up more dates FASTER
- Allows me to rack up more plates FASTER

- All in less time than cold-approaching random pieces of a.ss or hanging out "at the bar" hoping one of the women with their bytch shields up, take their bytch shields down long enough so I can "run some game".

Now of course, TENACITY will indeed go to the bar....but he's going to bring a chick he met on Social Media, OLD, or through his Social Circles with him so she can drink/party with Tenacity. Tenacity is not going to the bar "looking" for a piece of a.ss.

 

[Herb]

Interesting feedback. Lot to digest. I had a feeling things were moving a bit more in the online/social media direction now. But now even Tinder is getting hard unless you're like truly top tier. I had a lot of success for the first two or three years or so, but women have gotten more selective because of the sheer amount of people on there.

And I may have been exaggerating about not seeing any cold approaches, but they're definitely not as common anymore. At least they're definitely not done like in those now cliche movie scenes. The best people are able to pull it off subtly, as if they already know the girl, even if they don't. Maybe the reason it hasn't worked for me a lot of times is that I make too big of a deal about it, instead of being more casual. It comes out in my body language; it's almost like I make it a "mission", and they can sense that and often don't like it. Even with day game, I tried asking a girl about the menu at a sub shop, with a slightly playful/flirty undertone, and she got into this defensive mode all of a sudden (for all I know she could have had a boyfriend- that's the other difficult thing; it's hard to tell who's taken or not with cold approaches).

Another thing is that girls these days seem to get "creeped out" by almost anything so easily. Didn't always seem to be like that. I take it the wink is now obsolete as a method of flirtation. My dad said he used to do that all the time back in the 60s and stuff, and it worked fine. I also see it in old movies. But now girls are more likely to think things like that are "creepy" even if they're just intended as a subtle way to communicate or get attention or usually just a kind of silly, ironic, tongue in cheek and over the top way of flirting, without taking it too seriously.

I realized, as others mentioned, the best way to do it is to already have girls in your group when you go to a bar/club. I'm getting a little better at facilitating these kinds of things, but still working on it. You meet them through friends or coworkers or just in the day or something and then chat a bit and invite em out with some friends. Like I just met some girls while doing some painting thing and might try doing something with one of em.

I also need better guy friends to go out with. Instead of ones that pursue their own agenda instead of acting in harmony with you and your goals. Or ones that are too afraid to do anything until they have like 10 drinks.

 

[bigneil]

The #1 indicator of how well you are doing as a seducer is this: when you find yourself sitting next to a girl at the bar, what percentage of the time do you get her interested?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I also need better guy friends to go out with. Instead of ones that pursue their own agenda instead of acting in harmony with you and your goals. Or ones that are too afraid to do anything until they have like 10 drinks.

I don't particularly like going out to bars alone. Much prefer to go with a mate. Recently, my drinking buddies have moved cities. I have some new drinking buddies, but one is a complete drunkard and the other can not stop talking. Anyway, near everyone I know has left town for their holiday. I go out anyway, waltz into a popular bar, buy a beer, take it outside and light up a cigarette. I was soon chatting away to a couple of good looking Pakistani chaps who joined me, and then a couple of women came to share the bench space with us. I felt the girl seated next to me was interested, and so when they left, shortly after, one of the Pakistani guys and myself wandered inside and joined them. Got her number, and she has been texting me.

I had a much better night going out by myself and meeting new people than I did the other weekend with a couple of colleagues. But that said, it is nice to sometimes just go out and chill without worrying about women.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The reason why you've never seen it is because the guys who do it very well will be instinctively perceived by an outsider as a close friend to the woman. THe conversation seems so friendly, personal, fluent and natural that someone who doesn't know any better would think they MUST already know each other.

Yes, I do my best to avoid 'hitting' on women. If they feel like they are being 'hit' on, you can feel the defenses automatically go up, and all your verbiage is just so much storm wave on a sea wall. Or they just completely ignore you. I catch myself doing this sometimes, just because I get bored.

Better is to be genuinely interested in a particular woman, and then you'll not only look like acquaintances from the outside, but your conversation will feel similar. I've found the keys to this are to be selective, and to have had not too much to drink... though moderately enough to have taken the edge of your thirst for women.

 

[Masculinity]

Do you ever see guys making approaches anymore? I feel like in almost every bar or club setting these days, at least where I'm at, and even most parties, everyone already seems to know the people they're with and came there with them. I try to pay close attention to my surroundings. Maybe I'm just not as observant, but it seems it's all done through circles or networks of friends... which also incidentally makes many hot girls hard to access in these settings if they're not "approved" by their circle. But I can't remember the last time I saw a dude actually coming up to a girl he didn't know, introduce himself, and try to spit game (unless the way I do it is very obvious and un-subtle compared to them). Even day game, like in coffee shops or bookstores. Where exactly do people actually meet girls? It seems to be a thing people talk about all the time on the Internet in sites like these but I don't see it often IRL anymore. Maybe back in like the earlier 2000s I did more. But I only see the end result when they're already together.

And at bars, you see a lot of guys just come there in groups and hang by the bar watching others but not making a move, and if they interact with a girl, it seems they're friends. Groups of girls huddle together with orbiters hanging around blocking you. I'm not savvy enough to be able to penetrate a situation like that. What ever happened to the good old fashioned just approach an attractive woman that's by herself or with one or two other friends who aren't there to screw you over? Now there's like a freaking science to it. That Roosh guy was talking about this stuff and the troubling dynamics that are taking over a lot of North American cities.

I guess every now and then I do see a guy doing some over the top routine with some women, but I feel like that's meant as more of a joke than a serious attempt. Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

-grocery store
-park
-restaurant
-school
-street
-mall
-coffee shops
-anywhere with people

 

[wifehunter]

-cemetary (captive audience)

 

[drakeisfire]

Because cold-approaching is DEAD. It's been dead. In order to meet women today, you have the following mediums:

- Online Social Media
- Online Dating
- External Social Circles

Gone are the days you go to the bar by yourself, find some chick who also came by herself, and "game" her up. That shyt has been OVER for at least the last 10 - 15 years.

Today if you are going to the bar/club, you go with a group of people that includes both men and women, and within the group, the girl you plan on "hitting on" or "dancing with" is already within the group. The bar/club is for you and your people/group to come and celebrate.

Cold approaches today make you come off thirsty, creepy, and they can be very risky because you honestly don't know who the fvck the girl is there with who you are hitting on. BROCK LESNAR could be her boyfriend and tap you on the shoulder literally at anytime.

As a result of this, I can't tell you the last time I went up to a chick........COLD......and tried "hitting on her". I hit on chicks through social media, online dating, as well as external social groups I'm already a part of and she's a part of, such as church groups, business groups, friends of a friend, friends of a family member, etc.

Except it is tough to get social circles going after college and social media, well tough to build a presence there.

 

[wifehunter]

Except it is tough to get social circles going after college and social media, well tough to build a presence there.

Check your local starbucks...coffee is very social.

 

[drakeisfire]

Where as, if you sit in the corner by yourself and don't say anything to anyone and then just cold approach women it's not going to work as well.

I do this, has not worked.....

 

[drakeisfire]

Check your local starbucks...coffee is very social.

my local starbucks is loaded with uggos, fat blue haired feminists, and old people

 

[wifehunter]

I do this, has not worked.....

 

[wifehunter]

my local starbucks is loaded with uggos, fat blue haired feminists, and old people

Uggos have hot friends, and are perfect target practice...you may even meet someone you can put in the 'sisterzone'.

 

[Red Legg]

Gone are the days you go to the bar by yourself, find some chick who also came by herself, and "game" her up. That shyt has been OVER for at least the last 10 - 15 years.

I disagree with this statement,recently I went to a local sports bar during happy hour (6 pm) I sat down by myself and ordered a beer.I was watching a baseball game when a young (25) year old gal sat down next to me and ordered a beer and pizza.When the bar tender brought her pizza to her I looked at her and said "man that pizza sure looks good" she smiled and asked if I would like a piece of her delicious pie.I chuckled and said "you bet".Then she goes into a 1 hour rant about how her boyfriend is "sh!t ".... lol I listened to her story just nodding my head every 10 minutes and occasionally saying "really" when she gets done with her story I asked her over to my house for a drink and the rest is history...all for saying her pizza looked good...so your statement above is completely false.