Where do guys make approaches on girls?

[Herb]

Do you ever see guys making approaches anymore? I feel like in almost every bar or club setting these days, at least where I'm at, and even most parties, everyone already seems to know the people they're with and came there with them. I try to pay close attention to my surroundings. Maybe I'm just not as observant, but it seems it's all done through circles or networks of friends... which also incidentally makes many hot girls hard to access in these settings if they're not "approved" by their circle. But I can't remember the last time I saw a dude actually coming up to a girl he didn't know, introduce himself, and try to spit game (unless the way I do it is very obvious and un-subtle compared to them). Even day game, like in coffee shops or bookstores. Where exactly do people actually meet girls? It seems to be a thing people talk about all the time on the Internet in sites like these but I don't see it often IRL anymore. Maybe back in like the earlier 2000s I did more. But I only see the end result when they're already together.

And at bars, you see a lot of guys just come there in groups and hang by the bar watching others but not making a move, and if they interact with a girl, it seems they're friends. Groups of girls huddle together with orbiters hanging around blocking you. I'm not savvy enough to be able to penetrate a situation like that. What ever happened to the good old fashioned just approach an attractive woman that's by herself or with one or two other friends who aren't there to screw you over? Now there's like a freaking science to it. That Roosh guy was talking about this stuff and the troubling dynamics that are taking over a lot of North American cities.

I guess every now and then I do see a guy doing some over the top routine with some women, but I feel like that's meant as more of a joke than a serious attempt. Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

 

[Chronocidal]

I've noticed this as well for quite a while; in many regions, it seems that nightlife is for getting drunk with existing friends. When I tolerate those environments, it's as if I'm the audience watching the epilog of a stage-play, where all the real action and decision-making's already been done and we're just seeing the aftermath.

In my experience, one thing that's severely missing these days is intention; I can't name a single venue where I can state with confidence that single young women go with the explicit and intentional purpose of finding a new single man to have casual sex and possibly a dating-relationship with. As someone who does mainly daygame, and who has learned the hard way that social circles are nastily unreliable, it's frustratingly limited me to opportunistic cold-approaching, and the prospects available tends to be decided mainly by demographics and luck, rather than skill.

I don't have an answer yet, sadly. I'm still looking for ways myself.

 

[bigneil]

Do you ever see guys making approaches anymore? I feel like in almost every bar or club setting these days, at least where I'm at, and even most parties, everyone already seems to know the people they're with and came there with them. ...Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

On average, over the past 6 years, at age 46, I date women 24 years younger, or age 22, who I pick up everywhere I meet them. When I picked up my last girlfriend (who I met when she was a 20 year old waitress) I actually pulled off a 3 way kiss with her and her (equally gorgeous, 27 year old Russian) friend.

With "Herb" likely being an overweight Section 8 non-white woman, of course she doesn't (personally of course - her only angle) see me scoring. I don't hang out in the ghetto.

You're not fooling anyone, Olly.

 

[Tenacity]

Do you ever see guys making approaches anymore? I feel like in almost every bar or club setting these days, at least where I'm at, and even most parties, everyone already seems to know the people they're with and came there with them. I try to pay close attention to my surroundings. Maybe I'm just not as observant, but it seems it's all done through circles or networks of friends... which also incidentally makes many hot girls hard to access in these settings if they're not "approved" by their circle. But I can't remember the last time I saw a dude actually coming up to a girl he didn't know, introduce himself, and try to spit game (unless the way I do it is very obvious and un-subtle compared to them). Even day game, like in coffee shops or bookstores. Where exactly do people actually meet girls? It seems to be a thing people talk about all the time on the Internet in sites like these but I don't see it often IRL anymore. Maybe back in like the earlier 2000s I did more. But I only see the end result when they're already together.

And at bars, you see a lot of guys just come there in groups and hang by the bar watching others but not making a move, and if they interact with a girl, it seems they're friends. Groups of girls huddle together with orbiters hanging around blocking you. I'm not savvy enough to be able to penetrate a situation like that. What ever happened to the good old fashioned just approach an attractive woman that's by herself or with one or two other friends who aren't there to screw you over? Now there's like a freaking science to it. That Roosh guy was talking about this stuff and the troubling dynamics that are taking over a lot of North American cities.

I guess every now and then I do see a guy doing some over the top routine with some women, but I feel like that's meant as more of a joke than a serious attempt. Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

Because cold-approaching is DEAD. It's been dead. In order to meet women today, you have the following mediums:

- Online Social Media
- Online Dating
- External Social Circles

Gone are the days you go to the bar by yourself, find some chick who also came by herself, and "game" her up. That shyt has been OVER for at least the last 10 - 15 years.

Today if you are going to the bar/club, you go with a group of people that includes both men and women, and within the group, the girl you plan on "hitting on" or "dancing with" is already within the group. The bar/club is for you and your people/group to come and celebrate.

Cold approaches today make you come off thirsty, creepy, and they can be very risky because you honestly don't know who the fvck the girl is there with who you are hitting on. BROCK LESNAR could be her boyfriend and tap you on the shoulder literally at anytime.

As a result of this, I can't tell you the last time I went up to a chick........COLD......and tried "hitting on her". I hit on chicks through social media, online dating, as well as external social groups I'm already a part of and she's a part of, such as church groups, business groups, friends of a friend, friends of a family member, etc.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Do you ever see guys making approaches anymore? I feel like in almost every bar or club setting these days, at least where I'm at, and even most parties, everyone already seems to know the people they're with and came there with them. I try to pay close attention to my surroundings. Maybe I'm just not as observant, but it seems it's all done through circles or networks of friends... which also incidentally makes many hot girls hard to access in these settings if they're not "approved" by their circle. But I can't remember the last time I saw a dude actually coming up to a girl he didn't know, introduce himself, and try to spit game (unless the way I do it is very obvious and un-subtle compared to them). Even day game, like in coffee shops or bookstores. Where exactly do people actually meet girls? It seems to be a thing people talk about all the time on the Internet in sites like these but I don't see it often IRL anymore. Maybe back in like the earlier 2000s I did more. But I only see the end result when they're already together.

And at bars, you see a lot of guys just come there in groups and hang by the bar watching others but not making a move, and if they interact with a girl, it seems they're friends. Groups of girls huddle together with orbiters hanging around blocking you. I'm not savvy enough to be able to penetrate a situation like that. What ever happened to the good old fashioned just approach an attractive woman that's by herself or with one or two other friends who aren't there to screw you over? Now there's like a freaking science to it. That Roosh guy was talking about this stuff and the troubling dynamics that are taking over a lot of North American cities.

I guess every now and then I do see a guy doing some over the top routine with some women, but I feel like that's meant as more of a joke than a serious attempt. Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

I met a woman in Starbucks on Friday, and am now meeting here again this afternoon for a coffee. If it goes well, hope to meet her for a drink next week. She's a bit young, just graduated, and applying to be an air hostess. I met a more mature women the other week [also at a coffee shop] who is well-traveled, and now in Bali for a few weeks. She's been sending me a few pics now and then.

I'm in a conservative city in Korea, yet I still find it quite easy to meet women. What is more difficult, is progressing things along. They get home, and into their logical mind, and think - 'I'm Korean, I live in a conservative city, he's a foreigner... pushing fifty'. It is hard to find the thirty and forty somethings here. I think they hit thirty, give up, and stay at home. Quite sad really. On-line dating? Forget about it.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I guess every now and then I do see a guy doing some over the top routine with some women, but I feel like that's meant as more of a joke than a serious attempt. Or some older guy trying and it just looks embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

I think you need to act 'congruently' to your age. If I ran around inside a bar hitting on half a dozen ladies in the course of an hour, I'd look an idiot... mind you, I think anyone doing this looks an idiot... I'd just look an extra-idiot.

So I'll go to a bar infrequently with a couple of mates. I'll have a quite drink, and focus on enjoying the company. I may, in the natural course of my strolling to the bar from time to time, respond to a woman who shows interest. The thing is to treat women in the bars as a peripheral interest.

 

[Chronocidal]

I think you need to act 'congruently' to your age. If I ran around inside a bar hitting on half a dozen ladies in the course of an hour, I'd look an idiot... mind you, I think anyone doing this looks an idiot... I'd just look an extra-idiot.

Why would it be idiotic to filter through six individuals to check for sexual interest?

 

[wifehunter]

The best place to meet girls, is in your path.

If you go out of your way, you lose frame.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Why would it be idiotic to filter through six individuals to check for sexual interest?

If I ran around inside a bar hitting on half a dozen ladies in the course of an hour, I'd look an idiot...

 

[martinman980]

Lol cold approaching has always looked dead because there are so very few men actally doing it right, and even when we do it, we don't attract attention to it. A good approach is one where, it's like you already know the women, and you don't attract much attention to yourself apart from the people that may be in her group right beside her, and not even then

To answer your question you can apprach everywhere anytime, more or less

 

[zekko]

Cold approaches today make you come off thirsty, creepy, and they can be very risky because you honestly don't know who the fvck the girl is there with who you are hitting on. BROCK LESNAR could be her boyfriend and tap you on the shoulder literally at anytime.

Lol. You're going to Suplex City!

Or maybe Paul Haymen will tap you on the shoulder, inform you that you are hitting on The Beast's girlfriend, and cut a promo on you, before Brock's music hits.

Lol cold approaching has always looked dead because there are so very few men actally doing it right, and even when we do it, we don't attract attention to it.

Yeah, I always thought the best cold approaches just look and seem very subtle and natural, like a part of everyday life. Not like these approach videos where the guy stops a girl on the street and is basically saying wow, I'd like to have sex with you. I see the appeal in doing that, because it means you are the chooser, but damn sometimes those look real creepy.

It's also like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. She could be married, she could be a psycho, she could be covered with Herpes, who knows? It's no wonder it's such a low percentage ploy.

 

[Tenacity]

Lol. You're going to Suplex City!

Or maybe Paul Haymen will tap you on the shoulder, inform you that you are hitting on The Beast's girlfriend, and cut a promo on you, before Brock's music hits..

.......that's if my boy Samoa Joe doesn't KILL Brock later on tonight!!

 

[zekko]

.......that's if my boy Samoa Joe doesn't KILL Brock later on tonight!!

To be honest, I might be more scared if I turned out to be hitting on Samoa Joe's girlfriend than Brock's.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah, I always thought the best cold approaches just look and seem very subtle and natural, like a part of everyday life. Not like these approach videos where the guy stops a girl on the street and is basically saying wow, I'd like to have sex with you. I see the appeal in doing that, because it means you are the chooser, but damn sometimes those look real creepy.

I know you're talking about "day game" in the example above, but I had one point about night game regarding making it look a bit more natural as well....

I think if a guy MUST "cold approach" at a bar or club, it is much better to just turn his head and start a conversation with women in his immediate vicinity. What is "creepy" is trying to make eye contact (and let's say she's not interested) and then walking 100 feet clear across the club to start a conversation with her. I can see where that could REALLY put a woman off. If she doesn't like the guy from afar, she's REALLY not going to like him after he zeros in on her like a shark approaching a school of fish* lol.

*This was very commonly done in the early 2000s.

 

[Tenacity]

To be honest, I might be more scared if I turned out to be hitting on Samoa Joe's girlfriend than Brock's.

Yeah Samoa Joe is a true bad a.ss lol. It's so crazy because WWE has the best talent roster right now that they've ever had....but the management and creative team is by far one of the worst creative teams ever. They have not a damn clue what to do with all of this talent, how to book them, etc.

Wait a minute, how did we start discussing "pro rasslin" in the middle of a thread about approaching chicks??

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Yeah Samoa Joe is a true bad a.ss lol. It's so crazy because WWE has the best talent roster right now that they've ever had....but the management and creative team is by far one of the worst creative teams ever. They have not a damn clue what to do with all of this talent, how to book them, etc.

Wait a minute, how did we start discussing "pro rasslin" in the middle of a thread about approaching chicks??

Nothing will ever beat the days of Stone Cold Steve Austin, HHH (And DX), The Rock, Mick Foley, The Undertaker, Kane, and Vince McMahon.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Gone are the days you go to the bar by yourself, find some chick who also came by herself, and "game" her up. That shyt has been OVER for at least the last 10 - 15 years.

Absolute nonsense.

 

[zekko]

Nothing will ever beat the days of Stone Cold Steve Austin, HHH (And DX), The Rock, Mick Foley, The Undertaker, Kane, and Vince McMahon.

Have to agree. Not sure why they felt they had to go to the PG stuff, I guess it had something to do with their television contracts.

 

[Young OG]

Because cold-approaching is DEAD. It's been dead. In order to meet women today, you have the following mediums:

- Online Social Media
- Online Dating
- External Social Circles

Gone are the days you go to the bar by yourself, find some chick who also came by herself, and "game" her up. That shyt has been OVER for at least the last 10 - 15 years.

Today if you are going to the bar/club, you go with a group of people that includes both men and women, and within the group, the girl you plan on "hitting on" or "dancing with" is already within the group. The bar/club is for you and your people/group to come and celebrate.

Cold approaches today make you come off thirsty, creepy, and they can be very risky because you honestly don't know who the fvck the girl is there with who you are hitting on. BROCK LESNAR could be her boyfriend and tap you on the shoulder literally at anytime.

As a result of this, I can't tell you the last time I went up to a chick........COLD......and tried "hitting on her". I hit on chicks through social media, online dating, as well as external social groups I'm already a part of and she's a part of, such as church groups, business groups, friends of a friend, friends of a family member, etc.

I usually like your posts but I have to disagree with you about cold approaches. There still being done more then you think.

Girls might not go to the bar alone but they will go with one or more other girls. We do approaches at the bar all the time. Two of my friends have been gaming for many years. They pull girls at the bar quite often.

I know a guy who cold approached a girl at a chipotle last week and he banged her a couple hours later.

Cold approach is far from dead.

 

[AttackFormation]

I usually like your posts but I have to disagree with you about cold approaches. There still being done more then you think.

Girls might not go to the bar alone but they will go with one or more other girls. We do approaches at the bar all the time. Two of my friends have been gaming for many years. They pull girls at the bar quite often.

I know a guy who cold approached a girl at a chipotle last week and he banged her a couple hours later.

Cold approach is far from dead.

Yeah... problem with taking "advice" from guys on cold approaches at a place like this is it's gonna be guys who can't/won't do them. Then they try to make you think you can't do it either. Crabs in a bucket...