Where do girls my age hang out?

[Hoppy]

Hi, this is my first post here. I am an afc, trying to overcome my complete lack of confidence.

I recently got out of a ltr from when i was in school. That was the only place i felt comfortable picking up women.

My biggest hang up right now is that i don't have a clue where i sould be looking. I have a hard time overcoming my shyness to pickup girls on the street.

Nightlife isn't really my thing. Bars are out too.

I'll admit that i don't really have any intentions of becoming a dj like you guys. I'm more comfortable picking up one great girl and sticking with her.

I just need a little direction as to where to go. Thanks guys.

 

[rgeere]

I just need a little direction as to where to go. Thanks guys.

Well, you can start by looking at the DJ bible. Once you have read through that others here will be more willing to answer questions.


Hi, this is my first post here. I am an afc, trying to overcome my complete lack of confidence. I recently got out of a ltr from when i was in school. That was the only place i felt comfortable picking up women. My biggest hang up right now is that i don't have a clue where i sould be looking. I have a hard time overcoming my shyness to pickup girls on the street. Nightlife isn't really my thing. Bars are out too. I'll admit that i don't really have any intentions of becoming a dj like you guys. I'm more comfortable picking up one great girl and sticking with her.

The wonderful thing about being a DJ is that there are no real rules or boundries you have to follow. You don't have to go to bars if you don't want and you don't have to go out to clubs at night. There is absolutly no standard.

And if you want to find that one special girl. that's all good. There are lots of DJs that have found that one special girl and are now happily married, as well as many AFCs. But that isn't what you should be concerned about.

Being a DJ is about being capable. You know a little about everything and you can do about anything. You don't worry about irrelevant things to yoiur life and you enjoy the things you do and have.

Forget about the rules of society. You are equal to them if not nearly above them. You are the greates thing you know, the prize, the trophy, the idol.

You can not be used by others because you are intelligent. You find your own way in the world and support yourself and others.

You've chosen a great path to follow, and I hope you truly do find it. I have, and it's great. Be happy with yourself.

 

[Hoppy]

I've read the bulk of the dj bible but not all of it to be honest. I've been pecking at it for a few months now and i have yet to find a piece of advice that I’ve been able to truly use. Not because the advice is bad, just because I’m that pathetic. And yes, I realize my attitude sucks but I’m being honest.

I ALWAYS manage to talk myself out of doing dj stuff, despite my best efforts to stay in the game.
I can typically think of ****y, James Bondish stuff to say but i never have the balls/confidence to land any of those lines.

My problem is strictly with women I’d like to be with. The rest of society i have no problem displaying a backbone around.

It makes sense to me and it gives me confidence on a short term basis, but the first time I get shot down or ignored when i try to initiate contact my ego is deflated.

My current prospective: need more confidence to be successful with woman and I need more women to feel confidant.

Any pointers?

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Hoppy
Any pointers?

Yeah, learn to be happy and confident without women. you're just lying to yourself when you say that your problems only manifest themselves around women. If your life was in as much order as you say then you wouldn't have as many problems with women as you say you do.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Hoppy
I've read the bulk of the dj bible but not all of it to be honest. I've been pecking at it for a few months now and i have yet to find a piece of advice that I’ve been able to truly use. Not because the advice is bad, just because I’m that pathetic. And yes, I realize my attitude sucks but I’m being honest.

I ALWAYS manage to talk myself out of doing dj stuff, despite my best efforts to stay in the game.
I can typically think of ****y, James Bondish stuff to say but i never have the balls/confidence to land any of those lines.

My problem is strictly with women I’d like to be with. The rest of society i have no problem displaying a backbone around.

It makes sense to me and it gives me confidence on a short term basis, but the first time I get shot down or ignored when i try to initiate contact my ego is deflated.

My current prospective: need more confidence to be successful with woman and I need more women to feel confidant.

Any pointers?

None at all to give you.

If you don't have the balls to land those lines, none of us can sell you balls that you can use. This is something that you have to do on your own. YOU have to grab hold of your nuts and say, "THIS is MY life, I OWN it, and *I* decide what I'm going to do with it." Until you do that, until you take responsibility for your own actions and start ACTING, then you'll always be in this state.

We can only show you the door. YOU have to walk through it.

 

[bob2007]

around here, i've noticed an amazing number of hot chicks who're in this ultimate frisbee league.

personally i wouldn't join it just to meet chicks

 

[Plex]

Ultimate Frisbee kicks ass, keeps you fit and ladies love an active guy who's able to play with friends when the time is right. but dont play all the time.. there are times when you need to be serious too.

 

[gruby]

Dude it's frisbes.... the only time you don't look gay playing it is with your long time gf.

 

[Plex]

^^ dont listen to this guy.. Ultimate kicks ass

 

[Hoppy]

Originally posted by rgeere
Yeah, learn to be happy and confident without women. you're just lying to yourself when you say that your problems only manifest themselves around women. If your life was in as much order as you say then you wouldn't have as many problems with women as you say you do.

Can you elaborate?

I don't know what my problem is. It's like i suddenly come to the conclusion that i'm not good enough for whatever perticular woman i'm considering aproaching.

I'm a 7.5. I'm a big enough loser that i feel that an 8 or better wouldn't want me but i won't settle for anything less then a 7.

Also i tend to talk myself out of approaching based on age. If a girl even LOOKS like she's under 18 i won't approach and if they look like their more then a year older then me i won't approach. Obviously this is a crappy system because it's very difficult to tell the age of a woman within that 3 year guess just by looking at them. It's a personal issue i'm trying to work out i guess.


I'm going to start the first week of dj bootcamp just for kicks. Maybe the baby step method is just the kick in the ass i need.

 

[Hoppy]

Originally posted by bob2007
around here, i've noticed an amazing number of hot chicks who're in this ultimate frisbee league.

Thanks for the tip but i'm not interested in playing frisbee. It would be too difficult to look like i'm enjoying myself.

The ultimate goal is to make my lifestyle better, not worse.



I went to a party tonight to hit on some 19yr olds. I got some smiles, that's about it. The fact that they were too drunk to care might have been part of the problem.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Hoppy
Can you elaborate?

Forget about age diffrences and just get out there and have fun with them. It doesn't matter if she's a teenager or a woman twice your age, just get out and have fun.

 

[Hoppy]

I tried picking up a couple girls at walmart today. One shot me down completly, the other politly let me know she was taken.
I'm mainly just making basic chat. I haven't tried any lines that i would classify as suave.

My game is real weak right now but at least i'm playing. I'm going to take the day off from work tomarrow to work on my social skills. Wish me luck.

 

[Hoppy]

I went to the mall for a few hours today. I tried approaching about 15 girls for conversation. They ranged from 7.5's to 9's.
I was not attempting to ask them out/get their phone number. That took alot of the pressure off me and allowed me to stay in my comfort zone. I had about a 50% sucess rate, which supprised me. I feel less intimidated now. I think i'll be ready to try and get me some phone numbers soon.



My balls just grew a little today.