Where did I lose her?

[Shantaram]

I've had 2 dates with this girl, the second one ended up kissing and with her interest growing. Next thing I canceled a scheduled date 'cause I had to work, rearranging for Saturday, she called on Friday saying she wouldn't make it on Saturday. I didn't text her or called her after that, until this Tuesday and she's didn't pick up the call. What happened?

 

[samspade]

Look at it this way, you never had her. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, just the way you have to view it. Girls will ghost, even after sex. You've just got to roll with it as best you can and see what you can learn from the experience.

Perhaps you did something on the dates or in the messaging that lowered her interest. Maybe you didn't but it's worth a brief review and thinking about how you can grow. But don't obsess, just move on to the next girls, they're like buses, one comes along every few minutes.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Indeed.
"Why do people do what they do?" is an eternal question and thinking about it will never resolve into any real answers, only your insanity.

Why the girl ghosted or nexted you isn't your responsibility so don't focus on it and as Sam said: Move on to the next cuz they are like busses and trams. There will always be a new one.

 

[Velasco]

Next thing I canceled a scheduled date 'cause I had to work, rearranging for Saturday, she called on Friday saying she wouldn't make it on Saturday.

With new girls you haven't banged yet or just banged once, you want to meetup with them when they're available (after 2-3 separate meets that end in bangs, you don't gotta worry about it). Otherwise you'll lose them cuz they have too many options. It's part of the game.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

This can be one of the most frustrating parts about dating and game. As men, we are problem solvers, and we want to think we are in control of every situation - it's easier for us to think that we did something wrong that caused her to ghost us because that means it's something we can work to figure out and then fix so it doesn't keep happening with future women. But it isn't always our "fault" or anything we could have done differently - girls are very fickle and go silent for all kinds of reasons, some of which having nothing to do with us or anything we did. There lies the catch-22: To learn good game, it is a fact that a man must improve his skills with women, but how can he improve his skills when there is a high amount of randomness it male-female interactions and we never get any feedback from the woman who ghost?

I could list 1,000 reasons why a girl ghosts a guy, all of which have nothing to do with him. Her dog could have died. She might have a boyfriend and was just looking for attention and validation and before things got too serious her guilt caught up with her and she ejected. She could be talking to 10 different guys at the same time and decided to choose a different guy over you. She might have psychological disorders that cause her to isolate herself every few weeks. The list goes on and on.

As for learning game, the best thing to do is ask questions here, like you are now. Be as specific as possible and provide as much information as possible about the interactions and timings and we can look to see if anything stands out to us as glaringly obvious but from the example you gave, this doesn't sound like anything you did wrong. When you cancelled, you gave a valid reason and immediately rescheduled which is perfectly acceptable. When she said she wasn't going to make it and didn't offer a reschedule, that's soft-rejecting you. When a girl does that to me, I assume that's the end of it. I'll either not respond at all 95% of the time, or if I do respond I'll say, "Sounds good, we can just do it some other time" and that will be the last text she gets from me unless she asks ME for a date.

If you are worried that your date reschedule is the reason she ejected, DON'T BE. First of all, you didn't do anything wrong. Second, if this actually WAS the reason she ejected, then this is a blessing for you: You have successfully screened out a narcissistic, entitled princess. Imagine what that girl would be like in a relationship any time she doesn't get EXACTLY what she wanted? Or she is the extremely insecure and jealous type who always assumes the worst about you - and she automatically assumed your reschedule was because you had another date opportunity and you took it and lied to her about why. Imagine what dating a girl like that would look like? I've been there, I know, you don't want anything to do with it.

Bottom line: When this stuff happens, think of it as women screening themselves out - they are doing your work for you and making it easy for you.

 

[Shantaram]

This can be one of the most frustrating parts about dating and game. As men, we are problem solvers, and we want to think we are in control of every situation - it's easier for us to think that we did something wrong that caused her to ghost us because that means it's something we can work to figure out and then fix so it doesn't keep happening with future women. But it isn't always our "fault" or anything we could have done differently - girls are very fickle and go silent for all kinds of reasons, some of which having nothing to do with us or anything we did. There lies the catch-22: To learn good game, it is a fact that a man must improve his skills with women, but how can he improve his skills when there is a high amount of randomness it male-female interactions and we never get any feedback from the woman who ghost?

I could list 1,000 reasons why a girl ghosts a guy, all of which have nothing to do with him. Her dog could have died. She might have a boyfriend and was just looking for attention and validation and before things got too serious her guilt caught up with her and she ejected. She could be talking to 10 different guys at the same time and decided to choose a different guy over you. She might have psychological disorders that cause her to isolate herself every few weeks. The list goes on and on.

As for learning game, the best thing to do is ask questions here, like you are now. Be as specific as possible and provide as much information as possible about the interactions and timings and we can look to see if anything stands out to us as glaringly obvious but from the example you gave, this doesn't sound like anything you did wrong. When you cancelled, you gave a valid reason and immediately rescheduled which is perfectly acceptable. When she said she wasn't going to make it and didn't offer a reschedule, that's soft-rejecting you. When a girl does that to me, I assume that's the end of it. I'll either not respond at all 95% of the time, or if I do respond I'll say, "Sounds good, we can just do it some other time" and that will be the last text she gets from me unless she asks ME for a date.

If you are worried that your date reschedule is the reason she ejected, DON'T BE. First of all, you didn't do anything wrong. Second, if this actually WAS the reason she ejected, then this is a blessing for you: You have successfully screened out a narcissistic, entitled princess. Imagine what that girl would be like in a relationship any time she doesn't get EXACTLY what she wanted? Or she is the extremely insecure and jealous type who always assumes the worst about you - and she automatically assumed your reschedule was because you had another date opportunity and you took it and lied to her about why. Imagine what dating a girl like that would look like? I've been there, I know, you don't want anything to do with it.

Bottom line: When this stuff happens, think of it as women screening themselves out - they are doing your work for you and making it easy for you.

Thanks bro, you're a pro, I understand now

 

[Velasco]

if this actually WAS the reason she ejected, then this is a blessing for you: You have successfully screened out a narcissistic, entitled princess. Imagine what that girl would be like in a relationship any time she doesn't get EXACTLY what she wanted? Or she is the extremely insecure and jealous type who always assumes the worst about you - and she automatically assumed your reschedule was because you had another date opportunity and you took it and lied to her about why. Imagine what dating a girl like that would look like?

Yeah he screened out a potential fvckbuddy. There is some pride in me that likes taming these girls and turning them into super feminine loving girls. But I understand it's not for everyone

 

[Robert28]

There’s this girl who somehow keeps popping up back in my life. We went on two dates like 10 years ago and she said she wasn’t interested, fine whatever. Few years go by and I randomly bump into her and she talks to me, we catch up for a bit and I go on my way. Few days go by and she adds me on Facebook, I didn’t tell her to she just looked me up and added me. A girl that rejected me after two dates. So I send her a message “what, are you stalking me now?” and she was like “shut up.lol it was good seeing you the other day.” “Yeah you too”. Damn if she doesn’t ask ME out, but I remind her “yeah we went out twice and you weren’t interested, remember?lol” I used it as a way to tease her. She insists we go out so we do and end up banging. So my point is to not let every rejection get to you or make you go crazy thinking about it. This girl solidly rejected me years ago and is banging me years later. Women are weird.

 

[derby1]

Thanks bro, you're a pro, I understand now

unfortunately many modern women have serious issues, they are architects of their own misery and wonder why they end up with a guy who beats them up. You see, she is supposed to be attraced to a guy with a life (dont rub other women in her face, let her wonder)

However these women have serious self esteem issues from all the mass of men theyve received, and fake social media attention. So they need a guy they can control.

1) she bailed on you when you showed you werent so available(never submit to a woman keep doing what your doing, she missed the oppurtunity of a lifetime)
2) its 99% because a previous chap came back in the picture, None of these women are single bro, not one of them.

 

[Velasco]

Women are weird

A Hardcore Lesson in Sexual Availability

Do women know what they want? Probably not or the change their mind every 24 hours. Here's a story of how I slept with the hottest, most indecisive girl ever

www.goodlookingloser.com

 

[derby1]

Yeah he screened out a potential fvckbuddy. There is some pride in me that likes taming these girls and turning them into super feminine loving girls. But I understand it's not for everyone

Careful man, these are the women that claim D.V assault, and gaslight.

 

[Velasco]

So they need a guy they can control

Yes and when they feel they have you completely under their control, it's when it's over.

 

[Velasco]

Careful man, these are the women that claim D.V assault, and gaslight.

I don't fear women.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

@Hank Moody @Velasco - You guys see her cancelling without a re-schedule and not answering his call a few days later as a great opportunity for a fvck buddy and a wild horse to tame. I see two disrespectful actions in a row and a clear communication of her not being interested (for whatever reason) and therefore not worth any of his further investment. I don't chase girls and don't advise other men do either.

OP is welcome to keep reaching out to her despite her ignoring him, up to and including "WYD?" texts at 3am. I'm sure after enough attempts, she will come around...

 

[Velasco]

@Hank Moody @Velasco - You guys see her cancelling without a re-schedule and not answering his call a few days later as a great opportunity for a fvck buddy and a wild horse to tame

Nah. Not what I'm saying

OP is welcome to keep reaching out to her despite her ignoring him, up to and including "WYD?" texts at 3am. I'm sure after enough attempts, she will come around...

Nor do I recommend, boss. But I know your trolling now. So read my first post on this thread again.

 

[Shantaram]

UPDATE: She text me today "Hello", how would you handle that?

 

[Velasco]

UPDATE: She text me today "Hello", how would you handle that?

Read my comment to Nicko in the screenshot. It's over

 

[spikeanut]

OP, you're putting too much thought and mental investment into this one girl. Start talking to others and get out of that scarcity mindset. She reached out to you now, there's nothing wrong with a simple "Hey, how's it going" response. Don't make every single text rocket science. The purpose of texting is to get her out again, so ensure you gear your texts towards that end.

 

[Velasco]

@spikeanut

In my experience it's at this stage where I've fvcked it up, where the girl moves you to guy she wants attention from. And no longer a "I want to fvck this guy. You can get her excited thru your texts but your never going to get her to meet up with you again. Because that's not the purpose behind why she's texting you now. Better to cut your loses and move on.

 

[Shantaram]

Read my comment to Nicko in the screenshot. It's over

Yeah orbiter, I'll move I guess, damn it fcking hurts and bothers when you're new but that's the game