Where did I go wrong?

[sandman007]

I met this girl on one of the social networking sites, although it turns out we have a mutual friend. We corresponded several times online, agreed to meet for lunch. It turned out really well, so well in fact we lost track of time and were there a couple of hrs. We began talking and texting regularly after that and she agreed to meet me for dinner one night last week. She has her child during the week and said she normally doesn't do anything social when he is there. I thought it was a good sign she was willing to make an exception, especially when she was driving to meet me and I am 30 minutes away. Dinner went well, we came back to my house briefly before she went to pick up the kid. She is remodeling her house and I showed her mine and pointed out some of the things I am planning on doing soon. We kissed a few times, she never attempted to pull away or anything, gave the vibe she liked it. I mentioned she didn't tell me anything new about herself, that we had mostly talked about our children and she said she would save that for the next time we went out. I took this as another positive that she referred to "next time". Text her the next day and got no response. I was out of pocket for the weekend so didn't attempt contact but tried calling on Sunday. No answer but left message and have yet to hear back from her. Based on how fast she returned calls and texts before, I am certain I won't be talking to her again. I have been trying to figure out where I went wrong here. This girl was showing all the signs of being interested and we seemed to have a lot in common. I should mention she was engaged to a guy who was killed in an accident last spring and according to our mutual friend, I am the first guy she has been out with. Did I jump the gun by kissing her on the second date? I have never been one to ask a woman "why" if she dissed me but this caught me so off guard, I am considering sending her an email and asking what happened. Bad idea, right?

 

[sodbuster]

A radio station read a poll where the number 1 thing to end a date that was going well is how clean your bathroom is. don't really see anything you did wrong[unless you were supposed to bang her and you didn't].

 

[sandman007]

Well, the maid was here only a few days before and my kids have been at there mom's so the house was immaculate. Didn't get the impression this chick would put out so quickly so don't think that's it. I'm wondering if kissing her freaked her out or something due to her fiancee's fatal accident. But even at that, I kissed her a couple of different times in the house then a quick peck when she got in her car and detected no hesitancy at any point. So I don't f'ing know.

 

[vitor]

She might have got bored.. I am dating a few woman and the one I like the most has children. She will text me all day and then disapeer for a few hours. Just when I think she is losing interest she will text me, or send me a sexy pic to tell me she is thinking about me. I keep reminding myself how I am the prize. Thats how you need to look at things her loss..

Stop texting, calling so much, leave her alone till she contacts you. Do not ask her on other dates when you are with her, make her wonder how much fun you are having..

 

[window]

women play games professionally just leave it she'll call back...

 

[window]

what did you say in the text you sent the next day ?

 

[sandman007]

The next day was Thanksgiving....just asked how her day went. She was having a big family affair in her new house. As she was getting in her car to leave the night before after our date she said "If I don't talk to you tomorrow, have a good Thanksgiving". Didn't think anything was sinister about that, we have only known each other a short time and aren't talking everyday although over the past week or so we had generally had some contact, although mostly brief, on a daily basis. I was always the one that ended the phone convo's, can't recall a single time that she ended it.

 

[jophil28]

I have never been one to ask a woman "why" if she dissed me but this caught me so off guard, I am considering sending her an email and asking what happened. Bad idea, right?

Never ask, never explain.

Be patient .She has another life that does not involve you.
And BTW, you did not do anything 'wrong' .

Just wait- and in the mean time, conduct your life exactly like you did before you met her.

 

[Commandante]

I met this girl on one of the social networking sites

Where did you go wrong? Here...

 

[sandman007]

I live in a small town far from any metro area and there aren't a lot of places to go to meet women. I don't care for the bar scene or most of the women you meet in bars. I have small children who live with me and am selective about who I bring around them and in my experience I can learn more about a woman, especially when we have mutual friends, on the social networking sites.

 

[Zunder]

that we had mostly talked about our children

~

That's why. How fvcking boring. You are just another boring dad. That's why she never returned your calls.

 

[sandman007]

that we had mostly talked about our children

~

That's why. How fvcking boring. You are just another boring dad. That's why she never returned your calls.

And she is just another boring mom, huh? You obviously don't have kids, or if you do, don't consider them as important as I do mine. Women are really attracted to men who spend time with their kids. I have custody of mine and have had multiple women tell me that is a huge point in my favor, that I actually raise them when a lot of men don't have or want that responsibility. Whatever the problem is, that isn't it. I guess there are all kinds on this message board and you, sir, are an idiot.

 

[sodbuster]

Well, who knows, women are more like children than you can ever imagine. We are all looking for the logical,because thats the way WE think. Do you get all excited about X-mas?[women and kids do] I had an employee plug in the tree to look at for 20 minutes after work[while I was trying to get out of there],another had to show me how nice the Nitrous Oxide masks smelled-orange,bubble gum and berry-oh WOW[she stood there sniffing the outside of the packages while we had work to do-or should have]

There's a part of woman that is a 5 year old,we will never know the reasons for what they do.

 

[TheAsianLover]

You should have f*cked her. She was inside your house. She thinks you are a major p*ssy.

 

[Slickster]

You did nothing wrong.

I once had a relationship with a woman who had recently lost a fiance. There is a good chance that she is still dealing with those issues. It's not something you can get over easily.

Give her space and be patient. As someone said earlier she has a life and so should you.

 

[Veridin]

that we had mostly talked about our children

~

That's why. How fvcking boring. You are just another boring dad. That's why she never returned your calls.

You don't have children at the age of 39? That is boring.

I don't have kids yet, but it is natural for singles with kids to share experiences about them, just like you talk about job or school - anything that takes up a large share of your hours every week. Added to talk about other things, of course. And doing other things than talking at the date, going to different locations is very important.

 

[window]

the planet has too many people to be sustainable...most people have children for their own ego's or because it is the done thing or to get welfare checks. Very few consider whether it is the right thing to do and whether or not they can go the distance in raising the children.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hello SandMan,
I think she would have been impressed with you,particularly that you didn't push the Svexual pace and you seem such a dedicated Father.
Stop thinking that you did something wrong,she has another life,I feel sure that there is some domestic agenda here,just be patient and she will come,contact her just to see how she is getting on,let her push the pace.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Sometimes we look to ourselves for what went wrong, but there are so many variables, it is complex. Don't get down or hate on things, stay positive and she'll come back around if she is interested in you.

Losing someone a woman loves to a fatal accident might make her afraid to feel certain emotions again (for fear of losing a person yet again). There may be many things going on in her head other than anything you did wrong. She may have been open to sexual advances, maybe you didn't pursue, I'm not sure. But sounds to me if someone has lost someone, it's good to take things slow.

Stay positive man, from your post you sound like a strong human being.

 

[squirrels]

You took her back to your place, kissed her, she shows NO signs of resistance, and you didn't close the deal??