"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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where are the older women

Alpine

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Everywhere, yes, yes.


No, I've probably answered somebody else asking this in the past, but recently I've been afflicted by a sudden drought also.

I was looking for some insight beyond the question itself.

Could it be I'm getting more picky, homing in on quality and values more associated with LTR rather than fit shags?

Is this a typical cycle/phase?

Or maybe a loss of confidence, somedays i have doubts, but if anything I feel more able generally.

One thing has been I'm 41, yet still fancy anything 18+, am I becoming more 'realistic'. I guess I want to settle down and have kids, so I'm aiming 28-35 whicj I feel is achievable.

Basically are they there, and my brain is filtering them out or, am I just thinking too much. :confused:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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I've been on a run of older women for about the last month. Most of them I met on the Net. Last night I had coffee with one that was 40 but I swear she looked at least ten years younger AND she told me that she'd have to work on herself a bit more to keep up with me! Oh I do believe this one will be put on my short list.:D
 

Flea

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If you're never married and have no kids, I think you're looking at the right group at 28-35. You'll find a large number of hot single girls looking for a guy to start a family with.

I am 40, but I was married young and have two older kids - ages 19 and 15. My biggest problem is that most of the women I'm interested in (30-40) either don't have kids yet, and want them, or have young kids. And I am not sure I want to spend ANOTHER 18 years raising kids, so I am pretty much cut off from a large number of women in my range if I want a LTR.

It's been tough finding a woman in my situation - with older kids or who doesn't want them. Well, there is my ex, but been there done that! :)
 

No Escape

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I've been on a run of older women for about the last month. Most of them I met on the Net. Last night I had coffee with one that was 40 but I swear she looked at least ten years younger AND she told me that she'd have to work on herself a bit more to keep up with me! Oh I do believe this one will be put on my short list.:D
Everyone I know has been having no problem meeting women from the internet, except me. What sites are you meeting them from?? Any tips on good sites to meet women?? I rarely go out, so the internet has pretty much become my only resort for meeting women. Thanks.
 

No Escape

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Originally posted by Alpine
Everywhere, yes, yes.


No, I've probably answered somebody else asking this in the past, but recently I've been afflicted by a sudden drought also.

I was looking for some insight beyond the question itself.

Could it be I'm getting more picky, homing in on quality and values more associated with LTR rather than fit shags?

Is this a typical cycle/phase?

Or maybe a loss of confidence, somedays i have doubts, but if anything I feel more able generally.

One thing has been I'm 41, yet still fancy anything 18+, am I becoming more 'realistic'. I guess I want to settle down and have kids, so I'm aiming 28-35 whicj I feel is achievable.

Basically are they there, and my brain is filtering them out or, am I just thinking too much. :confused:
They're everywhere, at least in NY they are. There's tons of bars/clubs you can find them.

There's also shopping malls, coffee shops, supermarkets, restaurants, convenience stores, etc. But I know, it's more difficult to hook up with them when they're at those places. That's when I'd say your skills are really put to the test.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by No Escape
Everyone I know has been having no problem meeting women from the internet, except me. What sites are you meeting them from?? Any tips on good sites to meet women?? I rarely go out, so the internet has pretty much become my only resort for meeting women. Thanks.
I'm on a couple but most of my time is spent on Match.com. I have a paid subscription so I don't need to waste time on only being able to send winks.

Search the forums, there are tons of threads on the topic. I do suggest thoroughly reading the threads and compile information that fits your style before attempting any of the suggestions. What works for some may not work for all, we may all be DJs but we are definitely all different.

Finally, you still need to get out. The Net is just a medium, it's not an alternative. Do not use it as your only means of interaction. You may however, find out that your street skills will improve as you get better at sarging online.
 

ThePainfulTruth

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Well...the answer seems obvious to me. You do realize that the women that you consider in your range are all of child bearing age and still bleed every month. I hope that's not crude. So you really need to look for a truly mature woman...one that is 40+. She no longer has the raging hormones because more than likely she is close to the time in her life when she can't have kids anymore...and doesn't want them. I say adjust your range to older women...truly older women. You do realize that up until about 40 a woman is still pretty young biologically speaking...she still has eggs. I believe that an older woman would afford you less stress also in terms of worrying about getting her pregnant. You could enjoy sex for the sake of good old intimacy. An older woman would be better suited for a LTR any way...she's calmed down and wants a nice man in her life generally speaking. She's through with childish games.




Originally posted by Flea
If you're never married and have no kids, I think you're looking at the right group at 28-35. You'll find a large number of hot single girls looking for a guy to start a family with.

I am 40, but I was married young and have two older kids - ages 19 and 15. My biggest problem is that most of the women I'm interested in (30-40) either don't have kids yet, and want them, or have young kids. And I am not sure I want to spend ANOTHER 18 years raising kids, so I am pretty much cut off from a large number of women in my range if I want a LTR.

It's been tough finding a woman in my situation - with older kids or who doesn't want them. Well, there is my ex, but been there done that! :)
 

dietzcoi

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Flea, the Painful truth is correct.

I am 44 and have older kids too. I fought the battle with the 20 and 30 somethings and now have a woman my age with older kids as well

The 25-40 crowd will either have kids or want them. So you have no choice to play along or avoid them.

Yes, it is the painful truth!

Dietzcoi
 

Tigris

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Absolutely true

Years back a guy broke up with me because I had a daughter, and he was looking for a woman to grow old with. There were no kids in the picture. Now my daughter's left home, I'm free, and he has a wife and young kids.

It looks like it happened anyway.
 
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