"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Where are the hot chicks that want relationships?

blueline

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I can't ever seem to get these girls. I either get hot sluts or hot psychotic girls that want relationships, but are incapable of relationships at the same time because they are so unstable. I also get <7's that want to date me, but that's simply because they don't get it in very often.

The last two girls didn't want anything serious.

I "dated" one for about two months and then dumped her when she was acting suspicious. What triggered the dumping was that she said "you're allowed to have sex with other girls if you want so long as I don't find out about it" after I recounted a funny story of a girl I turned down at a party that was being too aggressive with me. I didn't trust this girl at all throughout the relationship anyways as she had slept with 17 guys at 21, never had emotional sex, and had never been in a relationship before. In fact, I was the first guy she "dated." She wanted to/was having sex with other people is what she meant through that statement. Bizarrely, she cried when I dumped her. I fucked it up by trying to get her back after I dumped her rather than have her come crawling back. Honestly, if I were her, I would not come crawling back anyways since I had dumped her once before.

I had a few week long fling with the other where we had a bunch of sex and then she ditched me after I told her I could get into her.

Am I going out of my league? The last girl was definitely not out of my league, perhaps below it, lol. The one before that wasn't really out of my league, either. I'm giving all of these girls orgasms if that helps, lol. What the hell is going on?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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trrush

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it's the whole relationship deal. When I wanted to get into relationships, I had little success, then for a while I gave up on wanting a relationship and just starting having fun just being myself and girls were trying to get me into a relationship.
.... that how it honestly worked for me, the more I didn't want it, the more they wanted to get me into one.
 

blueline

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Yeah, I don't think I had a chance in hell with the girl that had slept with 17 guys and never had a relationship before. She's just got some attachment issues.
 

Cyclops

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same reason for those who ask where the young successful men are
 

comic_relief

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I always tend to stay away from the 8+ girls. They are too high maintenance for me generally and the 7's make the best possible girlfriends. They are generally more "independent" and the independent girls after they fall for you are the best ones (at least in my experience).

I recently dated a girl that was according to my friend "a total 9" and when my ex and me broke up, he swooped right in. Now she is forcing him to eat his veggies and beans because they are good for him. He now understands why I was always unhappy with her around :) :kick: karma is a b!tch!

- comic_relief
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Masculinity

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Have fun with your life and take things easily when you hangout with a girl and she will try to tame you and make you hers. I've heard crazy conversations about how women think of us as "wild" or things like that and try to "fix" us.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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blueline said:
Am I going out of my league? The last girl was definitely not out of my league, perhaps below it, lol. The one before that wasn't really out of my league, either. I'm giving all of these girls orgasms if that helps, lol. What the hell is going on?
I don't think it's that these girls are out of your league.

I do find it strange that you desire a relationship. I mean, I hate to sound cliche, but it's generally females that are trying to get US tied down in relationships.

If you can get these 8's or 9's or whatever, then why are you worried about the title of your arrangement? My only request of a woman is to provide good sex, and dont get in the way of my life objectives. Beyond that, I don't really need to have the title of "relationship" put upon me.
 

comic_relief

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so now that I had some sleep and thought about what was asked

How about... you... start going after girls that actually want relationships? I know this is counter-intuitive to most people's mindsets because the more rare a person is the better off they are. Get rid of that mindset. When the girl likes you first, than it makes your job SO much easier. You don't have to "build" it up, you just have to buy it.

Go read the Anti-Dump machine in the DJ Bible (It's near the bottom)

- comic_relief
 

blueline

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comic_relief said:
so now that I had some sleep and thought about what was asked

How about... you... start going after girls that actually want relationships? I know this is counter-intuitive to most people's mindsets because the more rare a person is the better off they are. Get rid of that mindset. When the girl likes you first, than it makes your job SO much easier. You don't have to "build" it up, you just have to buy it.

Go read the Anti-Dump machine in the DJ Bible (It's near the bottom)

- comic_relief
I only go after girls that like me right me from the get go.
 

blueline

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Mantis Toboggan said:
I don't think it's that these girls are out of your league.

I do find it strange that you desire a relationship. I mean, I hate to sound cliche, but it's generally females that are trying to get US tied down in relationships.

If you can get these 8's or 9's or whatever, then why are you worried about the title of your arrangement? My only request of a woman is to provide good sex, and dont get in the way of my life objectives. Beyond that, I don't really need to have the title of "relationship" put upon me.
Maybe I'm weird, but I like to be in love and enjoy the affection/company that comes with it. I don't really want to share my girl with other guys.

Danger said:
Girl: I am not looking for anything serious.

Translation: You'll do for now.
Yeah, that's what it was like for the first girl this semester. She was good at being a slut, too. As soon as I said something that might imply interest outside of simply sex, she shot me down. She'd also keep the physical affection toned down outside of sex.

The second girl, I don't think so. She cried both times I dumped her and told me all sorts of romantic garbage. She really didn't want me to dump her, but I wasn't about to let her have her cake and eat it too. When she said she'd hooked up with 17 guys at the age of 21 and never been in a relationship before, I should've taken her word at face value. You know how they say FB's shouldn't see each other more than twice a week? Well, we were hooking up multiple times a day and hanging out almost everyday doing things outside of sex. The physical affection was ramped all the way up outside of sex.

If I'm to do the FB arrangement with a self-proclaimed slut like that, I've gotta do things to protect myself like only see them twice a week.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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vatoloco

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blueline said:
Maybe I'm weird, but I like to be in love and enjoy the affection/company that comes with it. I don't really want to share my girl with other guys.
As human beings, I think at one point in our lives we all desire that. However, when the desire comes from a void deep within yourself, thinking that a relationship will make you "complete," ultimately it will fail as whatever is afflicting you, will afflict the relationship.

The best relationships are when both parties are complete, healthy, happy people by themselves. Two good parties working towards a good common goal (a healthy relationship) is what you want.

And of course nobody wants their girl to have other dicks inside of her. That's why you weed out the bad ones in the dating stage. ;)
 
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