Whenever I need confidence, I think of this...

[tsmith2334]

I see a lot of individuals asking what they can do to increase their confidence.Here is something ANY guy can do, even one with absolutely no game/ confidence/ previous experience, etc.

Simply realize that to each and every person you meet, you are essentially a mystery. NOBODY knows you like you know yourself... and nobody ever will. Nobody knows your secrets, deepest fears, previous failures, weaknesses, etc.

Maybe you masturbate six times a day, have never kissed a girl, pick your nose and can't drive stick shift. Nobody you will ever meet for the first time has this knowledge nor has to know any of it. To each and every woman you meet and approach, you are instantly and intrinsically given a clean slate.

Want to create attraction? It can be done the same way you'd find yourself interested in any person. You want to get to know them because you find them down to earth and you enjoy their company.

You can be intrigue anybody by being reserved yet having something interesting to say. Be mysterious, yet approachable. Be firm, but considerate. Be tough, but be friendly. Exude confidence, but be humble.

From there, take any IOIs or body language cues (an invaluable subject to research) and build upon them. Attracting women isn't rocket science. Try and fail. Don't focus on anyone other than yourself. Your happiness and success, not only with women but life in general, will grow exponentially.

 

[tsmith2334]

Common mistake #2:

Showing interest isn't the problem... it's showing too much continual interest.

There is nothing wrong in approaching a girl and letting your intentions known. Unless she is crazy (and therefore not worth dating), indicating YOU are interested in her will not be a turn off if she is already attracted to you. More than likely she'll appreciate you "pulling the trigger' and initiating. That is what us men are expected to do.

Where we go wrong is unconditionally showing increasing interest continually afterward. She should be reading your interest like a line graph; with highs, lows, peaks, etc.

She flakes? Don't be quick to call her again. She gives you a hard time over something? Leave abruptly. I believe in "nexting" women without actually nexting them, it works wonders. And it's not even important that you go tit for that, what's important is that you're not predictably and unconditionally "in it for the long run"...

That's what marriage is for.

 

[tsmith2334]

Here's a quick, fun piece of advice:

Want a girls number? Here's an easy way to get it.

This works best if you live in a dorm setting. f she lives a few doors down, walk to her dorm and ask her for a quick favor. Tell her you looked all over the place and can't find your phone (hide it in a drawer or something with the ringer on).

Give her your number and have her call it. Her number will register on your phone. It's best to confidently mention that you'll save her number for the future.

Trust me, if you approach with confidence it is a fun and easy way to get the digits.

 

[tsmith2334]

Here's another tip... love your name.

Think about your name, what it represents, how you got it and all the cool things about it.

My name is Tom and I think it's a cool, down to earth, simple name. Nothing crazy or fancy, but not as common as some other names (though still popular). It's not that Tom is such a great name, I've just grown to really like it.

Now, I genuinely enjoy introducing myself to people and telling them my name is Tom. This makes me confident and eager to introduce myself to females, bosses, neighbors, etc.

Try it!

 

[tsmith2334]

Never forget the importance of saying something vs. doing something

Example: The girl flakes on a special date. You're upset.

Saying something: Telling her "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. That's the last time you'll hear from me for a while."

vs.

Doing something: Contacting her again IF and WHEN you feel like it. Hesitating to make firm plans and flaking on her if she doesn't value your time. Nexting her. Spinning other plates.

Doing something is MUCH more effective.

 

[tsmith2334]

Here's another tip... love your name.

Think about your name, what it represents, how you got it and all the cool things about it.

My name is Tom and I think it's a cool, down to earth, simple name. Nothing crazy or fancy, but not as common as some other names (though still popular). It's not that Tom is such a great name, I've just grown to really like it.

Now, I genuinely enjoy introducing myself to people and telling them my name is Tom. This makes me confident and eager to introduce myself to females, bosses, neighbors, etc.

Try it!

^Please don't underestimate this tip. It sounds kinda silly, but it works really well!

 

[izza]

Tom,

I love these tips. And your name. Thanks for sharing!

I will also second what you said about loving your name. I find it so helpful to have thought about what a name means, what it means to others, how common it is. It is a wonderful source of material and a way to reveal self. I also love guessing where people are from based on their name.

Best wishes,
Izza

 

[slickaz]

word!!!....
..check your rep..
all Approved!!

especially the name tip..
I see a whole bunch of morongs trying to be so street and trying to be different like John aka J-Dawg or Bryan and Breezy..WTF!!!!
last weekend i heard a dude intro himself as
"hey my names Byron but call me Beez! coz im from the west"

im like...you...nevermind!

 

[izza]

To build on this, I think that we all have lots of great reasons why we live the way we do, and say what we say. I think we all have so much to share. That is confidence is a belief in your own brilliance - and the brilliance of everyone else - in shaping our decisions. That's probably a little vague, check out the post:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=151767

 

[tsmith2334]

I wanted to up this in case anyone missed it the first time.

Tons of new tips will be coming in the near future, I've written a bunch more and will be posting them all weekend