When your own mind tries to f*** you up!

[killahpl]

Right so, I'm 24 years old and have never really been with a girl - all I've gotten was the odd kiss here n' there - which has caused me a lot of distress, but now I've got a good chance with an HB9, 19 years old, who's pretty into me. I've got a date with her tomorrow.

Here's the thing, tonight I woke up at about 3 am and literally the first thing that came to my mind was, 'oh crud! what if this works out? I might look like a fool in her eyes, reveal my lack of experience in relationships, etc etc.'

See what happened here? At 3 am in the dead of night, the sophisticated, conscious brain (although some would argue I don't really have a sophisticated brain ) is disabled, all defenses are down, and it's the subconscious lizard brain that gets to rule the roost.

Now, I really want love, sex, and romance with this girl, I really do. But the thing is, the lizard brain is driven to a greater degree AWAY from pain as opposed to TOWARDS pleasure - and for good reason, as there's been a LOT of pain!

Now, I am really grateful to have woken up and to have gotten this epiphany, because it now allows to consciously say 'oh, no you don't lizard brain! This crap ain't gonna cut it anymore!', which ultimately allows me to have greater awareness and might prevent me from self-sabotaging myself with her.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

You've made an important realization regarding the way you specifically process risk vs. reward. My mind naturally works in kind of a similar fashion, and it took a major life change/epiphany for me to really be able to conquer the instinct to avoid catastrophic failure at all costs.

I've simply come to realize that life slips away every day we spend, and we can either spend it caught up in our own minds and fearing failure, or throwing caution to the wind and attempting to take that which we really desire. Honestly, I've been really inspired by sports because there are a lot of athletes I really admire who are able to go in and seize the moment when the pressure is greatest. Watching the human spirit exert itself to accomplish something because of passion is a universal lesson that we can all benefit from.

And then, after much trial and error, you realize that catastrophic failure isn't quite as catastrophic as you thought it would be. And then of course, there are the times things actually work out, and you realize you wouldn't have gotten to experience any of that were it not for your decision that something was more important than fear.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I don't think there's a greater pain in this game, than realizing you missed out on an opportunity because you ambushed yourself out of fear. I'll take 100 rejections to that.