When your girlfriend talks about "the future".

[The_Reaper]

I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.

I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.

Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?

 

[DJDamage]

Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?

There is nothing you can do.

She is trying to secure an LTR with you and once they start talking about it, they will constantly bring up the issue until there will be a final stand down confrontation.

If you don't want to be tied down then its time to spin more plates and let this one go before she becomes annoying.

 

[The_Reaper]

I'm with her 7 months, so would that count as LTR?

 

[Sp1kez]

if you don;t want to be with her then dump her and keep her as a ****buddy man....no need to wate your & her time if you know you're not going to end up with her.

 

[Obsidian]

next

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Act as thought you want a serious relationship with her and she'll start to try and make things more casual...

trust me!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm with her 7 months, so would that count as LTR?

For a young guy anything over a couple of months seems like a LTR to them. In real life, dating doesn't start becoming serious until after the six month mark. That's typically the time when both people have seen each other at their best and their worse and they're at the point where they decide whether to 'fish or cut bait.' Your girl is fishing, now it's your call.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Act as thought you want a serious relationship with her and she'll start to try and make things more casual...

trust me!

Hehehehe... Oh I can't say that. I never have 'the serious talk' with any of the women I'm seeing. I then find things they leave behind by women at my place in an attempt to say that they are going to be spending more time here.

Things like toothbrushes and hair products left in one of the bathroom drawers unbeknownst to me. At least if they pissed in the corner to mark their territory I'd know and I could easily clean it up. When it's hidden away in an unused drawer another woman could easily find it while attempting to mark her own territory.

It happens! Trust me!

 

[The_Reaper]

if you don;t want to be with her then dump her and keep her as a ****buddy man....no need to wate your & her time if you know you're not going to end up with her.

If I dump her, there's no way I'm keeping her as a fck buddy. Come on, that's not cool at all, that's fukkin cruel. but u have a very good point about wasting her time if i know i'm not going to end up with her. If we go our separate ways, I don't think we could spend time together. Maybe we would say hello from time to time, but sometimes it's better to be cruel to be kind and cut ties completely, imo, & let her get on with her life.

I have a few girls I could easily have as fukk buddies - and I would do this if i dumped my gf without remorse, because no connection has been made between us like me and my gf.

 

[The_Reaper]

What's the most tactful way of telling a girl - who is head-over heels, crazy about a LTR and even marriage - that you want things to progress at a less serious rate?

I want my gf to be happy, I don't want to mess her up in any way (an ex of mine who i dropped pretty hard still writes journals and includes a lot of sht about me in them - this material is THAT powerful) but she wants us to have a future, and I feel too young and inexperienced, as the cliche goes, it's not her, it's me. But I care about her very, very much.

What's the best solution, so she does not have this idea in her head that I will propose to her and we'll live happy ever after.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What's the most tactful way of telling a girl - who is head-over heels, crazy about a LTR and even marriage - that you want things to progress at a less serious rate?

...

What's the best solution, so she does not have this idea in her head that I will propose to her and we'll live happy ever after.

So what exactly do you want? Do you want her to slow down because she's going too fast or do you want to break up because there no chance that you'd want anything serious from her?

 

[The_Reaper]

I want to ease it for her so that when we do separate, while we had fun together and have good memories, it does not come as a complete shock to her and cause her a lot of distress.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I want to ease it for her so that when we do separate, while we had fun together and have good memories, it does not come as a complete shock to her and cause her a lot of distress.

Do you want to ease her pain, or yours (guilt perhaps)?