When your bisexual girlfriend wants you to meet her female lover

[bigneil]

I know this sounds like it's a great situation, and in a way it is, but this is also an extremely dangerous situation.

I've slept with two beautiful women (once) before, both were girls I dated and loved for years, but I didn't like the three way. I found twice the jealousy and half the intimacy. Both relationships quickly failed after that (though I did sleep with them both).

That said, my current gf (as many of you know is a stripper) is bisexual and she just now texted and surprised me by saying this girl is in town from 200 miles away and wants to introduce me.

The problem is: I know she has strong feelings for both me AND this woman. Plus, I'm not sure I can maintain the perfect seduction with two of them at once (Isolate the Victim). The other one will probably be jealous of me, might not be as attracted to me, and likely will sabotage things over the long run.

For those who have experience with this: doesn't it mess up the relationship? How do you handle it?

 

[Marvin Gaye]

What have you got to lose?

 

[bigneil]

Everything! I have the perfect relationship right now. Introducing another person can't make it more perfect.

Plus, when she randomly texts me at 8:30 on a worknight she expects me to party until 4AM.

 

[Jaylan]

And this is why I only date straight women seriously.

I know some guys dont see other chicks as a threat, but trust me...they can be just as much a threat to your relationship as other guys...prolly more so since you at least have the touch of a man that a woman craves.

Guys should definitely lock down their relationship as "2 people only" when they date bi chicks. Ive seen dudes get left for the chick. We cant provide bisexual women with that femininity they sometimes crave. Giving them the leeway to fool around with someone else is just asking for trouble. And this girls a party chick on top of all this?

The only time Ive seen an open relationship work well, without much jealousy and drama, is when its a equally 3 way relationship. Basically the main couple will seek out a third together, or if one of the partners bring someone in, its usually earlier on so a bond is formed between all 3 partners. You really gotta feel this new chick out and tread lightly, because since shes a woman, she can have powerful sway over your girlfriends behavior.

Good luck dude.

 

[bigneil]

Thanks Jaylan. I had a feeling you'd agree with me on this one (which is what a 1% chance? ).

There is no way I could achieve the emotional connection I felt with her last time if another woman was there, no matter how hot. A 3 way is just the sexual side times two, but the emotional connection is ten times as powerful (yes, I sound like a girl now I know).

So I'm disappointed in a way, but I also know that when a woman really likes you they want to introduce you to their friends so it's not bad either.

She's been begging me to come visit them since I started this. If you have never tried avoiding a girl, please try it sometime.

 

[Leopold]

My man looks like this relationship was over before it ever begun. Its not you... it's your girl. Add another person and it's going to be over... I know that.

If it would be me, I would just enjoy it while it lasts and start looking for other potential girls.

However... I do wish I would be close in being in one of those type of situations :/ fml

 

[bigneil]

"Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it."

-Seinfeld

(to Purple who is about to say she is a psycho, bisexual stripper: none of those variables disqualify a woman. By perfect I mean she is physically my ideal, wants sex every night, and is chasing me aggressively.

 

[Jaylan]

Thanks Jaylan. I had a feeling you'd agree with me on this one (which is what a 1% chance? ).

Try 0.01% chance lol

There is no way I could achieve the emotional connection I felt with her last time if another woman was there, no matter how hot. A 3 way is just the sexual side times two, but the emotional connection is ten times as powerful (yes, I sound like a girl now I know).

Its tough to express ones emotions when someone new comes around. I wouldnt expect you to be able to recreate those feelings with some new chick laying there with you two.

Sure a physical connection is nice, but everything feels so much better when its coupled with an emotional connection as well. So I agree with you there and Im sure plenty of dudes will as well. It doesnt make you sound like a chick.

So I'm disappointed in a way, but I also know that when a woman really likes you they want to introduce you to their friends so it's not bad either.

She's been begging me to come visit them since I started this. If you have never tried avoiding a girl, please try it sometime.

I have to say Im a bit concerned about the type of chick this girl seems to be. Especially when she seems like such a party chick despite you needing rest on a work night. And after reading Royal Flush's post Im thinking this might be a sitution just begging for drama.

But hell, you already got a thing going with this chick so its not like you can just blow her friend off. And I know what you mean about avoiding a girl...Ive done it a couple times, and they become annoyingly persistent to get their way.

 

[Bible_Belt]

How is it that you are not jealous of all the guys who are dry-humping her at work every night? It seems like the boyfriend of a stripper would be able to handle the jealousy of a threesome.

 

[bigneil]

Good question Bible Belt. Going into it I thought "if I can handle dating her I can handle dating anyone without jealousy".

What's odd is, the more my feelings for her grow the less jealous I feel.

I figure: she’s worked there since she turned 18, two years ago. She chose me out of all the hundreds if not thousands of men she's met. For me to suspect a new guy will steal her is unrealistic, though always possible. Plus it's a confession of weakness. I feel she is more desensitized to men so that, while it’s harder to hook her to begin with, it will also be harder to lose her.

Now, sleeping with the other woman is a whole other matter. For one, my gf herself will feel jealous, even if she doesn't know it yet. Also, if the other girl doesn't like me, it might break my spell.

 

[5string]

Good question Bible Belt. Going into it I thought "if I can handle dating her I can handle dating anyone without jealousy".

What's odd is, the more my feelings for her grow the less jealous I feel.

I figure: she’s worked there since she turned 18, two years ago. She chose me out of all the hundreds if not thousands of men she's met. For me to suspect a new guy will steal her is unrealistic, though always possible. Plus it's a confession of weakness. I feel she is more desensitized to men so that, while it’s harder to hook her to begin with, it will also be harder to lose her.

Now, sleeping with the other woman is a whole other matter. For one, my gf herself will feel jealous, even if she doesn't know it yet. Also, if the other girl doesn't like me, it might break my spell.

bigneil

This is an unusual situation for sure. Especially the part where the more your feelings grow, the less jealous you feel. Strange, but probably a good thing. I'm a bit mystified though and it sounds like you are a rolling stone of sorts. You can accept what many men never could the way I see it. Do you ever see this woman as LTR material? If not, you may wish to contain your feelings.

The 3some thing has it's pitfalls as has been noted. Guess you'll have to play that one by ear if it presents itself. Not to say it's wrong, I just couldn't do it for various reasons.

Keep us posted on this. Should be interesting.

 

[bigneil]

But PairPlusRoyalFlush, if jealousy is weakness, then a lack of jealousy is strength. I listened to Rome. He sounds bitter. He admits he's never met a stripper while I'm giving you the testimony of someone who has had a great 4 month relationship with one, chock full of irresponsible sex. Rome feels as though strippers hate their job and their dad. My gf loves her Dad (though not literally, an inside joke with strippers). On the contrary, they will tell you "I love my job, I get to dress sexy, get lots of attention, dance, and make money!". But it's something only the youngest and prettiest girls can enjoy. If they have a pimp it's a warning sign for sure (thank God she doesn't). I did a background check and she came back so clean I practically fell in love with her.

Having gotten to know her, I feel she is doing the best thing possible. She is a love Goddess (with no drug addiction other than pot and maybe alcohol) who heals anyone within a 10 foot radius with her unjaded, youthful, sexual aura. You've encountered her type. She walks by and smiles at you and makes your whole day. The girl pretty enough to know she's pretty so she has no issues.

Sexual energy is the most powerful energy in the Universe and she, in her prime, rules All as of this writing.

5string, early on I was just as suspicious as anyone. For, as my own gf said "Strippers are evil". But when you happen to find an unjaded, sweetheart stripper who loves you, you keep her. After 4 months, I feel as though her past doesn't define her. She defines her past. As far as I can tell after 25 years of pursuing and dating many beautiful women, strippers are the best girls you can possibly date.

 

[bigneil]

A stripper who smokes pot "uses drugs"? Please. And what am I risking? Are you saying you wouldn't have sex with a girl who loved you because she could potentially hurt you someday? People sure are more strict about the women other people date.

Anyhow, it's only self-preservation if she's your wife and you want children with her. The way I see it, she can keep dancing or she can settle down, but not both.

Here's a great article Why You Should Date a Stripper.

 

[BPH]

I know this sounds like it's a great situation, and in a way it is, but this is also an extremely dangerous situation.

I've slept with two beautiful women (once) before, both were girls I dated and loved for years, but I didn't like the three way. I found twice the jealousy and half the intimacy. Both relationships quickly failed after that (though I did sleep with them both).

That said, my current gf (as many of you know is a stripper) is bisexual and she just now texted and surprised me by saying this girl is in town from 200 miles away and wants to introduce me.

The problem is: I know she has strong feelings for both me AND this woman. Plus, I'm not sure I can maintain the perfect seduction with two of them at once (Isolate the Victim). The other one will probably be jealous of me, might not be as attracted to me, and likely will sabotage things over the long run.

For those who have experience with this: doesn't it mess up the relationship? How do you handle it?

Damn dude, how old are you? Dating strippers? High f***ing five!

 

[Desdinova]

I think you have your answer...

I didn't like the three way.

I have the perfect relationship right now.

If your woman wants you to do something you just don't want to do, then say no! Don't ignore it like a fvcking pvssy, tell her exactly how you feel about this whole situation. Tell her you don't want to introduce another woman into this relationship.

Let her keep her female lover, but make sure she keeps her out of your relationship.

 

[5string]

I think you have your answer...



If your woman wants you to do something you just don't want to do, then say no! Don't ignore it like a fvcking pvssy, tell her exactly how you feel about this whole situation. Tell her you don't want to introduce another woman into this relationship.

Let her keep her female lover, but make sure she keeps her out of your relationship.

Des

If she's fvcking her bi chickie friend, how is she going to keep that out of her relationship with bigneil? Impossible.

And bigneil. A womans past actually does "define" her. It's a clear indication of her future behavior. Count on it.

 

[bigneil]

She was only 19 when we met. I was 41. Compared to the last 5 girls I dated (average age 38, 7 kids between them) she is the cleanest, freshest and purest of all. You just can't compare them.

Plus, even the other strippers who I've asked say she's a sweetheart (God did I ever brace myself for that feedback).

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I simply cannot rationalize how anyone could have a perfect relationship with a bisexual stripper? I can only imagine how many skeletons this chick has in her closet.

And while its cool and all to be 41 while banging a 21 year old; you should realize that this is a wave catch knowing damn well it will crash sooner rather than later.

It takes a certain type of mindset and individual to successfully date a stripper and I'm not sure if your that type based on what I've learned about you through your posts her bro.

What's your definition of a perfect relationship? I would think after being with a BPD chick; a bisexual stripper wouldn't even be on the menu for you?











PIMP

 

[cordoncordon]

Really? With a psycho bisexual stripper? Sounds like the worst relationship ever. This girl should be treated as a piece of ass or social work project, nothing more.

Gotta agree here. Having a serious ltr with a stripper who rubs up and down men all day/night to me does not sound in any way like something I would find ideal. In fact it sounds exhausting. A short term fling sure, but not a ltr. I mean relationships are hard enough as they are with normal girls with normal jobs. But thinking a relationship with a girl who strips is perfect? That kinda says something about you as a person and the standards you are setting for yourself and your life. Might be time to reevaluate.

But as far as your situation here, IF your gf was just a F buddy I would say go for it, but since she is your gf, and you obviously care about what happens longer term, I would turn it down. Can't believe I am saying that haha.

 

[cordoncordon]

. She is a love Goddess (with no drug addiction other than pot and maybe alcohol)

And you consider that a good thing?????? I'm lost man. A stripper with a alcohol and pot addiction. What are you doing falling for this girl?????? You sound so lost. Unless you are one of those people who gets on on trailer trash drama, I can assure you that what you have is not perfect.

You need to really take a step back and take a full self analysis of your life, because to me you have to have a major hole in your entire existence in order to think that what you have is perfect with this girl. And it also says something about how low you have sunk if you think a pot and alcohol addiction is something worth hanging around with.