When you were an AFC...

[DanjoZ]

Hello! How are you doing!

When you realized you were an AFC (or even worse) back then, what did you do to change? What made you take that decision? And more important HOW did you do it?

What threads, texts and tips did help you? What gave you motivation carry on? Tell us


I did realize that I had to change autumn 1998 when this girl dumped me for my friend. Since then I've been reading alot of stuff. And here I am today!

 

[Trance]

I was in a 1y relation, and jumped into a 3y relation. I can say that during this time my game almost disapeared, and it was quite good before.

During the relation:
- Stoped caring so much about my looks, i wouldnt dress the best i could, look the best i could.
- I would lose a lot of my free time being with the girl, instead of socializing with other girls.
- Didnt socialize enough with interested girls in that time, making prospects for a near future.
- Went like 2 months in AFC status after break up.

After my AFC:
- Started going out and socializing a LOT, clubing a lot.
- Finally understood how relations work, what went wrong, when it was really over, and how to use that knowlodge for the future.
- Started to look my best again.
- Started new hobbies, like going to the gym, hip hop dance classes, improved my body and as a consequence my confidence.
- Little to little started to get around with more chicks.

There were some phases:

Phase one

I would go for a couple dates with girls, but i was being too nice, and not making them very interested. Also i had lost the timing for the kiss completly.
I
would chat with unknown chicks on msn and stuff, but soon i realized that is just a waste of time, only field work is worthwhile.

Made new friends, that introduced me to more ppl, and i was inserted in more circles with girls.
At clubing i wasnt getting sucess too. I started aproaching a lot like 10 girls a night, get some numbers, but that wasnt any good.



Phase two

Been in bed with a girl i had been once before, and that boosted my confidence.

Started to finally understand the clubing game, and to interpret girl signs. Quit aproaching a lot of girls in a night that i would even forget the name, and started focusing only in a couple of them. Would only aproach if i exchanged smiles or if i was really interested in the girl. And surprise.. This way i hardly got rejected.. I focused on having my fun at the club, and i was gettting more and more confident each time i was there. Girls noticed this.

Started to know a lot of chicks by my friends, started to date each time more chicks. At first like 3 chicks in 2/3 months.

Got a **** buddy, that i use to release my sexual tension and make me a lot more confident.


Phase three

I finally got it when to go for the kiss, and after a couple of times, it doesnt fail, if she's interested (and now i know when they are), and you make the right timing, it cant miss, girls want to be kissed, want to be with me.

Started to like a girl, and making me dont care about the others. And that is great. I dont care, they call me to go for a coffe or go out, i do sometimes but after it, i dont call them back, i hardly respond to their messages, and that makes them crazy and all over me! Then started to like other girl, etc.. I changed my goals to special girls that i am really interested, and that makes all the other girls so easy..

Latelly i had like 10-15 chicks in 2 months, and beded a few of them.

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL]

when I heard LJBF for the second time. and had spent a lot of time, money and energy, enough to get dozens of girls.

 

[Hot Ice]

Originally posted by THIAGO BRAZIL
when I heard LJBF for the second time. and had spent a lot of time, money and energy, enough to get dozens of girls.

666 posts...

God! (errr... or Satan! )
STOP POSTING!!

 

[Dukester]

Was in a 6 month relationship w/ a girl. Then she dumped me.
For 7 months, I was sad, depressed, pissy, a complete and utter AFC (actually probably worse). My ex breaking up w/ me then was like the nail in the coffin for me at the time, because I had a lot of other issues going on.

My best friend helped me out a lot, and I even needed to seek professional help.
IMO having my best friend there to help, and offer advice, and not pass judgement, etc.. was better than any help a psychologist could give.

He directed me to these boards about a month b4 i signed up. I read them intensely- at first angered by what I saw, because that was never how I did things. I eventually decided to sign up. With the help of my friend, the DJ Bible, and all the other posts on here, I was able to realize what I needed to change in myself.

The board didnt tell me what to do- only offered others experiences, and what worked for them. So after about a 2 month period of intense change, starting when I signed up- I can now call myself a DJ.

I not only get the girls that I want, but I also am having more success and getting more joy out of life. I have come farther than I ever thought I would. But my learning is an ongoing process, and even we DJ's have our breakdowns once in awhile.

But I am here to help anyone who needs it!

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL]

Originally posted by Hot Ice
666 posts...

God! (errr... or Satan! )
STOP POSTING!!

both actually

 

[Hot Ice]

Originally posted by THIAGO BRAZIL
both actually

Damn, you didn't stop posting...

 

[pootwo]

Back on topic..

Well, most my life i supose i was the 'victum'. I mean, i wasn't that depressed or anything, & most people liked me & i wasn't bullied or anything like that. but i did some stupid things & as a result, didn't have much respect or dignity. Like, i would do dares or make bets to do 'wacky' or 'crazy' things.

With women, i was a typical 'nice guy', & made some textbook mistakes like *groans* buy girls i liked presents (despite them showing NO interest in me, & they took the gifts anyway. In this respect they used me, but i was doing it to myself), telling them how much i liked them, & even writing poetry in Valentine / birthday cards!

One night, i went out with some friends & made a complete idiot of myself. While talking to some girls in a bar.. i .. threw up on the table we were sitting.
To make things worse, when we hit the club my dancing was pathetic. I was the 'joke' of the evening who, even the fat chicks were dancing with as a joke (you know, dancing with me & looking at her friends as if to say "look at me! i dancing with freak!").

I had enough. & i stumbled across this site looking for answers.

This site, at first, made me realise that i'm a worthwhile person & can actually achieve something & most of a all, BECOME the person i want to be. Unlike before where i actually played on the self debasing loser persona i created for myself.

The topic that REALLY spoke to me was..

This Topic

..as well as most of the DJ Bible, my eyes were finally opened.

I look back at myself then & I almost weep. I really was a loser who was heading nowhere. The progress i've made is nothing short of astonding to me. I think i have truely become "the great catch", which was only a pipe dream 3 years ago.. but now.. it's come true. & i have this site to thank for that.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

the titel is when you were an AFC, this is implying now we are not, i am not an AFC, i am not a DJ either i am on the interchange between so i am nether 1 nor the other. But most people here, are AFC.
Honestly people seem to think because they are here for a month they are full blown DJ's. I see so many people that have been here for two months saying how AFC they used to be and how good it is to be a DJ. well heres some new for you, you arnt DJ's. it takes more then reading a few posts to become a DJ.

 

[Dukester]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
the titel is when you were an AFC, this is implying now we are not, i am not an AFC, i am not a DJ either i am on the interchange between so i am nether 1 nor the other. But most people here, are AFC.
Honestly people seem to think because they are here for a month they are full blown DJ's. I see so many people that have been here for two months saying how AFC they used to be and how good it is to be a DJ. well heres some new for you, you arnt DJ's. it takes more then reading a few posts to become a DJ.

is that directed towards me check mate?

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by Dukester
is that directed towards me check mate?

why would that be directed towards you? no it was directed to the newbies that seem to think they are total DJ's after a month or 2 of reading posts and no practice. I didnt even read your post you made, but now i will...

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

after reading what i said, and what you said, ahahahahaha fits exactly doesnt it. lol, dont sweat it thou.

 

[Dukester]

ok, cuz i know I've become DJ over my 2 month period. but that's just me. i thought i was gonna be AFC 4ever, but i really did some deep life changes to make myself the way i am

i'm not perfect, and i could probably be better- but for once in my life i'm happy where i'm at, and happy w/ myself- and taht is what being a DJ is all about!!

 

[Xandaman]

Yeah I agree with check mate kid. Ive been reading this site at least once a week for about 4 months, and although I feel I understand all the concepts, its how well you apply them to your life. Ive got tons of women interested in me, I get told it just about every day, yet somehow I still dont get any and dont have a girlfriend. I am not yet a DJ, but even furthur from an AFC.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

well heres the thing, i have not that long ago, found the vision of what a DJ really is, and when i was here for 2 months i didnt have that so i was reading the stuff and thinking yean i got it going on. Now i know, and you will eventualy realise what being a DJ really means and you will be able to look in to a situation and see what a DJ would have done and know that you are not a DJ till you are doing that. This is why being a DJ is harder then you think it is.