When you find out a male-friend is talking junk about you to a girlfriend..or friend

[shark]

So lets say one of your "boys" who claims and acts as if he's your good friend talks junk about you to your girlfriend. He trys to put ideas about how you are cheating on him, or may...or how he saw me flirting..or tries to point out all neg. stuff about me.

But this friend or gf or w/e is telling you this and it's there priv convo. This friend has been doing it for a while, BUT, I havent said anything b.c i realized he isn't a friend and dont expect anything from him

I'm done thinking this way and need to say something to him before i explode or just throw a punch. What and how would you guys handle this?

Keep in mind this is a big guy, who thinks and likes power (may be why he trys to control our relationship)

 

[Damian]

Tell it straight out to his face.

"Look man, we've been buddies for a while. I respect you as a person, but I want you to stop talking **** about me to my girlfriend."

Diplomatic, respectful, yet painfully direct. If he doesn't respond, then he's an jack@ss and stop interacting with him.

-Damian

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Ask him if what your girl is telling you is true. If it is, and he's really talking trash about you, tell your girl to ignore him or change the subject if he tries to talk about you. Then, stop hanging around the guy. If you choose to keep talking with this guy, then don't tell him anything personal about yourself.

 

[backbreaker]

let me tell you a little story... which is 100% true.

This girl I knew had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship, and had started dating this guy.

Now, she admited to me the guy was a rebound guy and she would probably dump him in a month or so, which she did do, but that's not the point.

The thihng is, the entire time, the guys best friend was calling her every day talking **** about her BF which was his so called best friend. He would tell her he has never seen a girl as pretty as she was, how her BF was cheating on him, how she should break up with her BF and dump him.

To this day, the ex BF doesn't know what his friend was doing behind his back. The GF didn't bother to tell him.

She eventually dumped him, but not because of urging of the friend.
I haven't spoken to her in a while, but the last time I had talked to her, he was still on her jock strap, threating to "move on" but calling every day still.

My point is, first of all, if she is doesn't bother telling you this stuff, you need to take a long, hard look at your GF.

My dad tried to hit on my ex one day, and although I wasn't mad at him, she quickly pulled me aside and let me know. She would let me know if she thought one of my friends liked her (and one of them did have a small crush on her but of course, never tried to act on it)

The second thing is, in the end, backstabbing gets you no where. Back stabbers aren't worth your time or the time of day. If your friend tried this with you, move on. Don't make a big scene about it, just stop hanging out with them as much

 

[amano]

I went throught this a while back.

A few years ago, I was having drama between two girls I was seeing. I liked em both, they didnt like each other, I couldnt make up my mind etc etc. Of course I would confide in my "friend" about this stuff.

Turns out I found out from one of the girls (who later became my gf) that my friend had been talking crap about me, real personal below the belt stuff and then trying to elevate himself. How bad I was and how good he was. It wierded her out and she told me everything.

I later confirmed with the second girl that he was trying to hook up dates, and whatnot with her too. All behind my back. She was creeped out and cut off communication with him.

An extreme case of ho's before bro's. More like a backstabbing "bro", who would go that far in order to get a girl.

Extreme measures for a desperate loser.

I confronted him, he denied it. He went
so far as to say "who would you believe, these silly *****es or your friend?" Trust me, Ive known him for years, he was lying. And the girls wouldnt make this stuff up.

I never talked to him again after that. You dont need people like that in your life. Get rid of them.