When women turn - the flakey factor

clifford

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So, things are going great as my last couple of 2 month relationships, then all of a sudden they just turn on you and become ice queens. I know you guys know what I am talking about. The other ones I could really give 2 squats about, but this one I was really starting to get into. How should I proceed here. Obiviously the constant emailing and calling is out of the question. Should I just wait her out and keep her wondering?
 

HKgunslinger

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When women lose interest, there is a reason. Play it cool for now, but for 2 months of dating you she owes you SOME kind of closure if she's breaking it off. If it's really "goodbye" then she will most likely LIE to you about the real reason. I can start speculating about why she may be losing interest, but I haven't got all night, and only you know the insides-out of the interpersonal dynamics between yourself and this woman.

'Slinger
 

icehot

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In my experience women usually turn for a couple of reasons:

1) They lost interest --or their interest level isn't as high. Don't make the mistake of calling and emailing and trying to figure out what's going on. You gotta play it cool and actually back away from her...don't call her as often, see her less etc.

2) There's another guy in the picture and she's torn between you and the other guy. Not much you can do about this...pretty much the same advice as above.


-iceh
 

Royal Elite

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Originally posted by clifford
So, things are going great as my last couple of 2 month relationships, then all of a sudden they just turn on you and become ice queens. I know you guys know what I am talking about. The other ones I could really give 2 squats about, but this one I was really starting to get into. How should I proceed here. Obiviously the constant emailing and calling is out of the question. Should I just wait her out and keep her wondering?
You have become a boring, predictable lame, who is boring the hell out of her. Simply stop taking her to the "same" places and doing the "same" things. If you aren't doing anything but dropping by to have sex, and watch tv-do something fun and interesting. All you have to do to change your life is change your life.

DON'T DO WHAT YOU BEEN DOING. You need to be a different person in the same body.
 

Ricky

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This is exactly the situation I'm in.

But I have it even worse. Shes in another city

So right now it's a phone thing and an occasional see her thing.

And I really like this one.

FVCK

I can only hope it works out...
 

Ricky

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BTW
In my case the girl had really high interest in me for a while

I was dating another girl.

We were doing great

Then she came to visit one time and said she didn't feel as connected with me as the other times because we didn't talk as much.

What can one do to make her interest return? Or can it?
 

Chrispy

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Originally posted by Ricky
BTW
In my case the girl had really high interest in me for a while

I was dating another girl.

We were doing great

Then she came to visit one time and said she didn't feel as connected with me as the other times because we didn't talk as much.

What can one do to make her interest return? Or can it?
Did she know you had another girl? Sounds like you didn't connect with her as much because you divided your interests and she caught that.
 

S.S.N. 318

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Originally posted by icehot
In my experience women usually turn for a couple of reasons:

1) They lost interest --or their interest level isn't as high. Don't make the mistake of calling and emailing and trying to figure out what's going on. You gotta play it cool and actually back away from her...don't call her as often, see her less etc.

2) There's another guy in the picture and she's torn between you and the other guy. Not much you can do about this...pretty much the same advice as above.


-iceh
true dat cuzz....
 

TooColdUlrick

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Originally posted by clifford
So, things are going great as my last couple of 2 month relationships, then all of a sudden they just turn on you and become ice queens. I know you guys know what I am talking about. The other ones I could really give 2 squats about, but this one I was really starting to get into. How should I proceed here. Obiviously the constant emailing and calling is out of the question. Should I just wait her out and keep her wondering?
once an ice queen, always an ice queen. don't assume this "problem" is yours, although some introspection is always valuable.

just another take...

women have the same congruency problem with men, that men have with women.

for the AFC, he holds himself out to be something that he is not. he appears to be a DJ, calm, cool, collected, personable, engaging, attached disinterest, etc. eventually, his true colors surface and what attracted her to him in the first place was a lie. she says, buh bye.

for the ice queen, she too holds herself out to be something that she is not. she appears to be so sweet, funny, sexy, reliable, potential LTR, or whatever. eventually her true colors surface. he says, buh bye (hopefully, for god's sake).

so, i would say that they perhaps didn't "turn" flakey, but rather, they were already flakey to begin with. consider yourself blessed.

my remedy is to always assume they are flakes to begin with, until proven otherwise. yet at the same time being your own charming self, when you are with her.

again, attached disinterest, until she has proven herself worthy. this could take months, even years! this is exactly what women do to men, right? men fall for it, hook, line, and sinker.
 

Ricky

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Thats actually probably pretty true.

People are on their best behavior at first then you find out who they really are.

This has happened to me several times with girls.
 
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Sure, we've all run into this. I'm encountering this right now with a girl who talks one moment of letting me take her virginity and is unavailable to confirm plans for a date the next. it's ridiculous.

the only thing you can do is back off for a bit and let her miss you. the girl in question actually told me, before we started hooking up, that she got turned off in her last LTR because her boyfriend complained constantly that she never paid enough attention to him.
 

MackJr

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I'm dealing with this kind of thing right now. It's hard in some ways. The chick I'm thinking aobut is a superworkaholic. I actually broke off the relationship and even the friendship because I got sick of her inability to make time for anything besides work. I can't imagine her lasting in any sort of marriage, unless she marries some sort of gay dude who needs a wife for cover.

Her issue is that she grew up poor and since her parents are dead, she feels that she can't stop until she's successful enough to be "safe". That's the kind of problem that doesn't go away with a few minutes of counseling.

I think the right thing to do for me (and you) is simply find other chicks to fvck. Avoid one-itis like the plague.
 
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