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When Women Try to Interview You

Latinoman

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Slickster said:
This "interview" behaviour is happening all the time. Its in a woman's nature.

Some people call it gold digging. It is kind of lame but there's no getting away from it. You can't really blame someone for wanting the best for themselves can you?

Anyway here's a link with some instructions on how to handle those "extremely" obvious gold digging types. :)
I wouldn't call them gold digging.

If you are given a choice between a woman that is a 10 and a woman that is a 3...you will pick the 10. Women look at other things.

That's why I always preach about men trying to do what's best for THEM (men). To improve themselves...so their options in life (jobs, circle of friends, homes, women) also improve.

If a VERY attractive AND professional AND educated woman has 3-5 potential dates. What should she do? Pick the "prettiest" one? Women (the ones I described) don't think like that...well, most don't.

Lot of "players" out there. Lot of "bul$hiters" out there too. Men that did the "play" and "bs" thing and were caught doing it (amateurs is what I call them). Women have no choice but to ask questions.

Now, if the woman asking the questions is one that sleeps around (or had slept around) and had several divorces and small children (although, I think those one should ask questions too) for the intention of dating "up"...then I would be like "WTF???".
 

Latinoman

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This is true. However, if the girl doesn't know you well enough yet she has no filter to see your actions through, whereas if she knew you longer and better she could better understand why you are where you are at.

For example, say you live at home with your parents. You tell that to a girl day 1 when she barely knows you, her mind will start coming up with tons of reasons why that is and none of them will be true. Now take that same thing, and reveal it to a girl who has known you for a while and she might understand that you are doing it as a means to get out of debt quickly so you can start your own business or whatever your reason is.

Personally, I find it to be rude if a girl is acting like a detective and trying to interview me so I'll either get them to cut it out and go back to having a good time or walk.
If you are caught in a lie...or deception...you can rest assure that you are doom, especially if you happen to later fall in love with her...you are more than doom. So, if you are planning to see that woman more than once...or twice...then don't lie. It is better to avoid the question than blatantly lying.

In fact, you have just given her the key to do something hideous (e.g. cheat, etc.) and justify that with the "but you also deceived me!!!...4 years ago, when we first met!"

I take the honesty approach. That way she cannot use that against me if we happen to be involved in the future for a long time. Furthermore, because of where I am in my life...I already know that she will be more than stupid to turn her back on me. I am what women call "marriage material". That's why it is very important to work toward a better self...so your past becomes irrelevant (although, past is very important, because allows us to identify trends). If I don't want to answer a question...I simply don't answer the question or change the topic (especially if I have already answered too many questions).

I view this interview thing as the perfect opportunity to ask her some key questions too. And I ask them with a lot of humor, that way their guard go down. This is the perfect opportunity to identify if this woman is

1- The drunk type
2- The one that engage in ONS ( no double standards, but a woman that is willing to go against what society views as appropriate is a woman that is willing to do anything)
3- The one that have cheated on LTR or former husbands
4- The one that have dumped boyfriends AFTER finding new interest (monkey syndrome)
5- The one that gets into the Internet dating website and have dated men via the internet

Because you never know...this might develop into a SERIOUS LTR. And if it happens, she will probably hide some things. So, the best is to get them from her early in the "dating" (I personally don't date) or "questioning" stages.

Based on what I have seen...women that have engaged in one of the first top 4 things (#5 is bordeline too) listed above tend to have LESS restriction (are more "able") when it comes to engaging in an affair.
 

Latinoman

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Maximus_Decimus said:
Because they are looking for a provider. This behavior is hardwired into them. As they approach the age of thirty and beyond, the provider criteria becomes more important in their selection process. For the longer explanation, read Rollo's response above.

Maximus_Decimus
They should be looking for a "provider". That's a duty of a man: to provide and protect.

With "to provide" I mean...

Of course, to provide emotional, physical, psycological, mental, and spiritual satisfaction.

If a woman is attractive AND intelligent AND educated AND professional...why should she downgrade her standards? If she doesn't know him...she is going to apply some set stereotypes. It is his job to show her that he is currently in a "transition" (schooling) stage. And once he is out that transition stage...he would be WAY above the others that are currently with an education. She can view him as an "investment" if she is smart.

But he must show her that he has other greater qualities. Fact is...when everything is said and done...women are the ones that pick their boyfriends. Men...they pick (by asking) their wives.

And men should never settle for "less". Men should create his set of standards and also identify his deal breakers.

I will provide you with a personal example: 50% of my time, I'm a "single parent". If a woman doesn't want to be with me because of that...then that's fine. I respect that. I know what I bring to the game. I know my "single parent" situation is relatively temporary because my children are teenagers. And an intelligent women would notice that too. ;)
 

Natch

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The other part of this is that some girl is qualifying you.

If you feel it neccesary to be what she's asking you to be , or impress her then maybe that's a bigger issue in itself.

A few weeks back a 17 yo girl tried to qualify me by asking what type of car I drive. I was genuinely offended (if a guy on your rugby team wanted to know what kinda car you drove before he'd be your friend you'd disregard that dork almost immeidately), and I told her if she wanted a nice ride she should hire a fcuking taxi. (In a witty , funny, way of course).

She kept blowing up my phone all week until eventually I had my girl B3 tell her to leave me alone.

You don't have to get all hobby-horsical or anything , but if you thinka line of conversation is rude you can just change topic and gently let her know you think she's being uncool ( briefly shutting down kino , BL and so on).

After all , who wants some golddigger biatch , yo?
 

CompleteControl

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Rollo Tomassi very intelligent and insightful reply. There are many other great points by Latinoman and others. However, I think a lot of guys miss some important points.

You must understand:

1) Women have the biological imperative to reproduce and to have a man as a provider/protector.

2) Quality women ask you questions to qualify you according to societal norms so they feel they are not wasting their time with a complete loser or someone who just wants to get in their pants. It does not mean that they want to marry you and start pumping out babies tomorrow.

3) Women base their decision to sleep with you or date you based on emotion not on logic.

4) The things you have, how much money you have, what your job is DO NOT REALLY matter as long as you can show SOME value in the interaction. Being confident, exciting, passionate, funny and comfortable with yourself SHOWS value.

5) Qualify her right back!


I love when women ask me these questions! I just go into my routine. I give some positive answers and some negative answers, but I always turn the negatives to positives.

e.g. "I will never be a billionaire - although I think it is important to be comfortable and to be able to provide for your family, life is too short not to experience some of its wonder - to experience adventure and excitement - to have a passion for living and to feel the joy that love can bring." (pause) "Why is money the most important thing to you?"

Re-Frame your life until you get excited just talking about it.
 

( . )( . )

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Rollo Tomassi said:
One thing I think is slipping past you here is that women are on different schedules of mating for different periods of their lives. Between the ages of 18 and 27, most women practice sexual behaviors associated with short term mating schedules. Physical attraction and availability of sexual encounters are more important criteria for her intimacy, and sex usually is contained in short term committment or breif encounters (ONSs). That's not to exclude women from getting married or seeking long term potential mates in this period, but it's the criteria for her sexual acceptance that dictates her choices, and a woman at the peak of her attractiveness and sexual availabilty is more prone to base her sexual choices according to physical conditions rather than long term provisioning capacity in a man. Ergo, we see the majority of failed marriages coming from couples married during their 20s. In fact it is statistically verifiable that the younger a couple is when they get married the more likely they are to divorce. It could be concluded that this is due to long term choices being made by immature individuals with no real sense of what constitutes the criteria for long term viability and therefore they rely on their short term breeding shcedule and end up with long term consequences. Thus we have the couple marrying due to an unwanted pregnancy and women seeming more fickle in their sexual selection during Spring Break in Cancun.

What DJ DAMAGE is experiencing is the effects of a long term schedule of mating. It's no secret that women have a laundry list of prerequisites they set as conditions for a man's acceptability into long term intimacy. He must be attractive, financially stable, possess status (some call this power), have a sense of humor, be sensitive to her needs, be decisive, be a good listener, be single (usually), he must initiate, have confidence, have ambition and the motivation to pursue it, be passionate, etc. etc. and the list goes on and on. Men have one criteria for intimacy - she's got to be hot. Attractiveness and sexual availabilty are the only prerequisites necessary for him to engage in sexual behavior with a woman.

As a woman ages these conditions shift and become re-prioritized according to her physical attractiveness and capacity to compete with other women for acceptable men's attentions. They insticntively know that as they age their sexual marketability decreases, while a man's capacity to meet her conditions for her (and other women's) intimacy increases (or at least should mature better). This then serves as an establishing operation for her to reorder her conditions, better maintain her physique and/or devlop mental/social schemas which constrain men into their own conditions. In order to better ensure the broadest pool of eligible, "Husband Material", men while simultaneously competing for men's attentions with other, generally younger and more attractive females, older women have devloped social contrivances to covertly and psychologically convince them (and younger women I might add) it is their responsibility to embody what they believe is entitled and expected from them. Thus we have these contrivances thrust into popular consciousness -

Men ought to marry/date/breed with women their own age.
Men shouldn't discount single mothers as viable marriage options
Men should respect the careers women choose

All of these contrivances in their many forms serve the latent purpose of keeping an aging woman established as competitive "Wife Material" regardless of the personal choices and the responsibilities, liabilities and the consequences these choices may have in the long term for her that will include her potential mate.

Most often these messages are delivered to a man in the guise of shame. Shaming a man into accepting, internalizing and embodying these entitlements-as-breeding-function is a genetic bonanza. How often do we read in print the "Men are infantile for marrying/dating women 8-10 years their junior" shaming ploy in popular media? All this amounts to is a latent plea for sexual acceptance after a woman has reached her sexual expiration date or is enduring the consequence of the choices she's made in her youth and finds fewer and fewer men are willing to share them with her. "Men are afraid of commitment, threatened by intelligent career women, protective of their fragile egos" etc. all of these amount to social shaming contrivances to better place older women on a (realatively) level playing field with younger, more attractive women they are forced to compete with.

I would advise you be less concerned with how well you live up to the conditions of women in exchange for their intimacy and more concerned with how well she performs to your conditions. This is where the PRIZE mentality becomes preminent and serves you into the long term. A woman in this stage of life has far more at stake to lose in the long term, and men in your position only increase in their provisioning value as they get older. Her sexual commodity is what will be decreasing as your capacity for providing long term security provisioning will be increasing. She is in the weaker position and she knows this subconsciously, use this to your own benefit and do not allow her to shame you into thinking her expectations are the deciding factor in long term success of a relationship.

You hold a royal flush in your hands, don't let any woman convince you to fold.
This guy is fvggin awesome.

I'm with the other guy who said you should write a book but a book about how sh!t REALLY is and exposing a sham thats taken years to become ingrained into modern society? wouldnt make it to the shelves unfortunately.

Rollo for Prez.
 

Natch

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I agree with boobies , rollo for prez!
 
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