When to use No Contact VS Indifference

[TheCWord]

Saw this discussion brought up in another thread and decided it needs its own... The conversation was about if, for all the preaching about No Contact, it would be better to just switch over to Indifference (one word replies to texts, being too busy for them, etc.) because ignoring a girl shows them that you are making the effort to ignore them, and therefore they still have an affect on you.

I'd like to take the middle approach and suggest that there is a time for NC and there is a time for Indifference. I am going to use two recent examples from my life below and am hoping everyone will weigh in with their thoughts.

No Contact: Oneitis girl I worked with for 6 months and pursued for another 6... A kiss here, a date there, but otherwise I was constantly doing the texting and making plans, she would take forever to reply, etc. Every once and a while she would say or do something that did communicate interest, and I would hang on to that little morsel like grim death. One week I tried making plans with her three or four times and she always had an excuse and never made a counter offer. I decided I had to disconnect from her completely for my own well-being. I deleted her off facebook and walked away.

Indifference: A girl had been bugging me to ask her out for months - I was legitimately just too busy to think about dating and was still dealing with the above oneitis. She'd text me a bunch and try to make plans - we mostly hung out in groups with friends. One day I decided to ask her out for dinner, and she reacts lukewarm, but agrees... then texts 10 minutes later to cancel, saying she had a work thing. No counter offer or anything. With her now, I act indifferent... When she texts I take a long time to respond and, when I do, it's very short. The idea here is that she's at strike one whereas the other girl is at strike 500... and it seems like cutting someone off completely so early, before any real dating has taken place, is a bit rash. I would give this girl another shot, but she'd have to put in a ton of effort and invest more than me, which is why I feel Indifference is useful here.

Sometimes I feel like I should be using Indifference on the NC girl to try and build up attraction again (where I initially failed), and sometimes I feel like using NC on the Indifference girl because I don't have time for flakes... What say you, SS?

 

[Die Hard]

Before you try to make a distinguishment between NO CONTACT and Indifference, you need to have a correct understanding of NO CONTACT.




You see, NO CONTACT is often confused for NEXTING.

When you're done with a girl, you NEXT her. It means you are not going back to her. Like when you divorce your wife... But if you have a child together, you will probably have to see the bytch when you go pick the child up. So you NEXTED her but you are not doing NO CONTACT.

But most of the time, when a guy NEXTS a girl, a part of him still longs back for her. And when she asks him to come over and tries to seduce him, he often falls for it, even though he doesn't want to. So that's why guys often need to go NO CONTACT after they have NEXTED a girl. They block her number, delete her Facebook etc. So she cannot lure him back...
In other words, NO CONTACT and NEXTING often go hand in hand, but they are not the same thing.

Now continue with your attempt to distinguish between NO CONTACT and Indifference.

 

[betheman]

NC to me, is helpful and important when you have ended a relationship, whoever dumps who!
its natural if you had 'a good thing' to want to go back and try and salvage what you can, make it better etc etc...if however, getting back together has sailed and is dissapearing into the horizon, NC is important. you need to be moving on with YOUR life. NC = no contact, nothing, no calls, texts, e mails, just popping by... and especially YOU not initiating such contact! vital

indifference is for that point down the line, you are back on an even keel (only you will know when this is) you are going about life, work, hobbies and your sh!t is pretty much back together. You still DO NOT initiate contact, you do not send a fvcuking e mail saying 'hey. just wondering how you are' and balls like that! NO!

YOU DO NOT MAKE CONTACT!

she may contact you, then...think! think!!! actually no dont give it much of a thought, drop it and come back to it, get on doing whatever the hell you were doing! thats what made you feel better.
downgrade the contact, its fishing, are you going to rise to the bait? like a fly expertly cast on a still lake, awaiting the hungry trout? if you have the brain of a fish, go for it.

that text, is the fly, the e mail the lure that will have you thrashing about if you succumb to it. swim by and brush the lure with your tail fin, let her know you are there but, not taking the bait.