"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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when to go for the kiss

ohiobohio518

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this is a digression off of my "mixed signals driving me nuts" thread.

for next time's sake:
i have trouble doing anything with a girl unless she throws herself at me (drunk girls), and im similarly inebriated. at what point do i go for the kiss? i mean, i know: eye contact for a few seconds, if she doesn't pull away, green light. proceed slowly toward her face. if she doesnt move away, light's still green.

but that doesnt always work out. what if the eye contact is solely due to the fact that you're talking to her? is the fact that she's at my house, alone, and on my bed watching a movie, enough of a reason to just GO?

also, according to ladder theory, once you're NOT in the friend zone, you can't really get back on the friend ladder. is this correct? if a girl determines you are someone worthy to be on the "other ladder," it's not really possible for you to fall off that ladder and end up on the friend one, can you? after all the girl finds you sexually attractive... i know it never happens for guys unless the girl goes through some dramatic weight change or something. but how about for girls?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
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ohiobohio518 said:
is the fact that she's at my house, alone, and on my bed watching a movie, enough of a reason to just GO?
Yes.

You probably should have gone long before then too, but if you're at that point, ****ing go for it man.

I think your problem is that you think too much. Stop looking for every little signal and green light before you try something. You gotta take risks man. If you get one or two signals, take that as the go ahead. You can't ever be sure until you try.

Just remember. If she's out with you, or if she's back at your place, then she WANTS to be with you! She gave you her number, she accepted the date, she showed up.... you've gotten plenty of good signals right there!
 

guitarslinger

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In short, if a girl is on your bed, it is okay to kiss her. That is why she is there in the first place. If a girl is watching a movie with you on your bed, and she doen't want to get on, you are girlfriends, and you're better off giving it a go and failing than continuing in that charade of one sided friendship.

If you feel like you want to kiss a girl, do it. I usually put my hands around their waist and look them in the eye first to see their reaction, and if you get a smile you're good to go. If she looks uncomfortable, back off.

Lastly, you can fall off that ladder into the friendzone, I used to be professional at it when I was younger. Just keep doing what you're doing, that's why she's attracted to you. Sadly, chicks are more attracted to your behaviour than what you look like or who you are.
 
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