When to call and other complications

[likelychump]

I've been getting the newsletter from here for a while now, and it's been having a nice, gradual effect, but I can't claim to be more than an AFC (except when I get enough drinks in myself to be the man I've been shutting up my whole life). But I have a case of onenitis, and maybe someone could help me to actually bag this girl, or at least keep things in the black, because there's way more chemistry and compatibility than I hardly ever encounter. I don't know if this is the stuff you guys know how to deal with, but I'll take any advice you can offer. It's also a bit complicated. Here's the story:

We've been friends for a while. A friend of mine was into her for some time, but he blew it. He played the jerk angle, which is all he ever does, and it wore off fast. He'll never have another chance with her. I never got in his way while he had a chance. She was technically dating someone back then, though it was long distance, so she definitely at least made out with other people during that relationship, including my friend. She also made out with me and my then-girlfriend (significantly after things had gone sour with my friend), and there was also some oral sex. Since then she'd indicated she wasn't even into my girlfriend, and we've flirted a lot. She broke up with her boyfriend. Plenty of good signals. Recently I strapped on my testicles, being single again, and spent a day with her (though she lives a train ride out of town), with more good signals, finally making out with her again. I spent the night, and the next morning she asked if I'd visit again. Of course, yes. We both agreed to keep this from my friend and ex-girlfriend. Maybe a week later, I sent her a text when drunk, a little over the top, but she responded with one, and asked when I'd visit again. I responded, saying I'd know Monday. So eventually we set up a date for me to visit. Then a few days later, she texted me, saying she had to work then, and we'd have to reschedule. I texted back, knowing I'd have to schedule my week with my employer in the next hour, and saying so (knowing she has a tight work schedule herself). She didn't get back to me, so right before I had to schedule, I called her. I got a text saying "sorry at work" Fair enough, but I got nothing from her when she was off work. I called her back the next evening, got no response, and left a message, telling her to call me when she knew what time was good for her to reschedule. It's been a couple of days now, and I just want some advice. What have I done wrong, what right, when to call or whether to call, and how to proceed in general? And please, no nexting suggestions. I can play the numbers game on the side, but I'm taking this seriously. Can't a real man go for a specific woman once in a while when she's different enough?

 

[WC2]

Yes, a man can be with one woman if she is special enough.

However this whole "going for" business isn't going to work out in your favor. In order for it to work out in your favor she must go for you. And that's the irony of the whole dillema because we all know that you always want women less when they want you. Still, if you insist on having a girl who is going to be faithful to you and treat you well, she must be extremely into you.. even more so than you are into her.

To be honest, I don't think shes quite hooked on you yet. If she was hooked on you then she wouldn't blow you off with texts and so forth.

The reason she's blowing you off is because your smothering her. You're trying to lock in dates with her and she senses your desperation. It should be the other way around, she should be a stickler for trying to make dates with YOU.

The whole relationship aspect with this girl is something you need to get out of your head. First of all she was cheating on her ex-bf.. not a good sign. She will probably do it again. Second of all, the more you think of being in a relationship with this girl psychologically, the lesser the chances are that she will actually want one. Women want the chase in which THEY have to chase the relationship.

My advice to you is to lay off the phone calls to her. Let her contact you when she wants to hang out and don't be so forthcoming in your feelings about her. Show her who you are, make moves on her, and then pull back. If you go along telling her about your feelings right now then chances are you'll never really be in a relationship with this girl.. although I don't think you should be ATM (even though i don't think it's possible right now).

Good luck and remember that you are the prize.. she is not. As long as you keep that in mind, women of all kinds will beg to be your prize.

 

[COD]

What have I done wrong, what right, when to call or whether to call, and how to proceed in general? And please, no nexting suggestions. I can play the numbers game on the side, but I'm taking this seriously. Can't a real man go for a specific woman once in a while when she's different enough?

THE BEST GIFT TO GIVE A CHIC IS THE GIFT OF TIME.

DUDE she may have a life OUTSIDE of you.........and you already are vested way too much emotionally. I think Your bordering on one-I-tis at this jucture.

Now the generic quick advice is NEXT her...........nexting is NOT just cutting off all contact........its moving on with another and throwing her way down the priority ladder. So when she does call you are not in that emotional state ( PRE-COITAL aka wuss like ) haze.

Step back, stop texting , calling, stop RE-ARRANGING YOUR LIFE, cyber stalking.........apply a little ACTIVE DISS-INTEREST TACTICS. KEEPERS.........WOMEN you want to persue more than 3 dates......require time to marrinate before they commit.

ACTIONS SPEAK VOLUMES......AND reveal a persons true agenda at that paticular moment.

So what are you gonna do in da future...........

1) dont read too much into a text

2) realize she has other priorities in her life and if she dont respond theres a dozen other reasons.

3) WRITE A EMAIL THAT INITIATES A RESPONSE

4) MASTER THE ART OF TEXTING

5) LEARN HOW TO DEVELOP DEEP RAPPORT SO THAT SHE CANT WAIT TO CALL YOU

6) SPIN MORE PLATES

7) PRACTICE ACTIVE DISS-INTEREST

8) figure out whats your motivating factor about why U are into this type of chic

9) GET A PLAN.......know when to call her, know what to say, when to escalate, etc

10) write a success story and post it on here

St

 

[aix237]

You shouldve not called her again after her text sahying she was at work.. You came off as to eager to see her. she knows you want to see her. You try once thats good enough. No need for a second time calling her and leaving a message. She will call yuou if she wants to see you. DO NOT INITIATE CONTACTING HER EVER UNTIL SHE DOES IT FIRST. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. AND WHEN SHE DOES DO NOT IMMEDIATELY ASK TO HANG OUT. EVEN WHEN YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN IF SHE DOESNT SAY SH!T ABOUT HANGING OUT JUST SAY OK TALK TO YOU LATER. SHE SHOULD CONTACT YOU AGAIN SHORTLY CAUSE SHE WILL BE LIKE WTF HE DOESNT LIKE ME OR WANT TO HANG OUT AGAIN??? You dont follow my advice you will probably lose. Trust me dude I deal with the flakiest/AW girls.