Hey guys so I met this girl in one of my classes yesterday, we end up hitting it off and eating lunch together on campus. By the end of lunch she gave me her #, and now I want to set up a first date. Thing is, I was thinking of calling her tommorow and setting up a date for Saturday, but in an article I read it says that it's not a good idea to call a girl near the weekend . Is this true or does this apply to longer conversations only? Also what's the best way to ask her out over phone, especially when it's the first time calling her?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
When to call a girl to ask her out?
- Thread starter Fighter95
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
TheSlasher
Senior Don Juan
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These days, I no longer care about the when. I just a ask girl out when I've got something to do where someone could tag along, and choose who among the girls has a personality that apparently fits in it.
SgtSplacker
Master Don Juan
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If it's a first date thing i'll typically try to reach out 2 days before I want to go out. If it's less than 2 days, i'll just reach out and kinda feel her out first to see if she has something going on.
TheSlasher
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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Do you have anything that YOU ARE interested in doing?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
There are no rules, man. If you call her up and she's telling you about 9 million things she has planned until next November, then forget it, it's a soft rejection. If she seems like she's got nothing going on, then suddenly cut the conversation short. You have to go (wink wink). You can't talk anymore, (you're setting shıt up) and you come in with: "but let's get coffee tomorrow at XXXX around 00:00 and we'll continue". See where I'm going with this? End on a high note, then continue during the date. Get her revved up a little.
Cheat Sheet:
If she says she can't with a counteroffer, you're good, you try again.
If she says she can't with no counter offer, you're not good.
In both situations you try again.
One more bullshıt excuse, and it's over, done. You Next her.
That's dating in a nutshell. Good luck and keep us posted.
Cheat Sheet:
If she says she can't with a counteroffer, you're good, you try again.
If she says she can't with no counter offer, you're not good.
In both situations you try again.
One more bullshıt excuse, and it's over, done. You Next her.
That's dating in a nutshell. Good luck and keep us posted.
Rule of thumb for me is wait until it feels "right". Date went great and she seems like high IL--> ask whenever you want, as long as it isn't coming from a desperate angle. If it's questionable that she likes you, be patient and don't come across needy.
It really won't matter much if she truly likes you. BUT you might as well play it safe by taking your time and being patient. She won't forget about you in 3 days if she had a good time.
Because she is in your class you should take your time. Don't be over eager to meet her because you have lots of time to let this unfold. When I was in college I would slow play any girl in my class because there were plenty of opportunities to talk and set up dates.
After college you need to act fast or else you will miss your opportunity. In college, move too quickly and you will blow your chances.
As for the first time calling her I have a few tips if you're not a big phone conversationalist like me.
1. Call a friend or family member and get into a chatty mood. Talk about random sh!t just to get into a state of conversation. It really doesn't matter, just get into a social mood. Make sure to smile when you call her, it will project in your voice.
2. Call her up. I usually start with "hey, how's it going" then I ask how her day was just to get her talking. She will bring up something that you can string the conversation along with. Once this topic dies down, get to the point - you want to meet up with her.
3. Use Vlad's method of suggesting a date.
It really won't matter much if she truly likes you. BUT you might as well play it safe by taking your time and being patient. She won't forget about you in 3 days if she had a good time.
Because she is in your class you should take your time. Don't be over eager to meet her because you have lots of time to let this unfold. When I was in college I would slow play any girl in my class because there were plenty of opportunities to talk and set up dates.
After college you need to act fast or else you will miss your opportunity. In college, move too quickly and you will blow your chances.
As for the first time calling her I have a few tips if you're not a big phone conversationalist like me.
1. Call a friend or family member and get into a chatty mood. Talk about random sh!t just to get into a state of conversation. It really doesn't matter, just get into a social mood. Make sure to smile when you call her, it will project in your voice.
2. Call her up. I usually start with "hey, how's it going" then I ask how her day was just to get her talking. She will bring up something that you can string the conversation along with. Once this topic dies down, get to the point - you want to meet up with her.
3. Use Vlad's method of suggesting a date.
Thanks for the advice guys and Sofomore, i get what you're saying about taking it slow but the class is a 400 person lecture so sometimes you might not see the same person for a while. I've honestly never seen her in class except for one time so I don't think I can rely on just casually running into her again. And as for her IL we both had a great conversation and had fun tallking at lunch, she seemed pretty interested although I'm no expert.
Update:
so i asked her out over the phone yesterday to grab coffee, she said yes at first, and then i told her that we should go tommorow evening at which point she said "ill let you know if my schedule is free" and that was it. So i basically i got a yes at first which turned into an "ill let you know." I don't know if she's basically saying no, but oh well at least I went for it!
so i asked her out over the phone yesterday to grab coffee, she said yes at first, and then i told her that we should go tommorow evening at which point she said "ill let you know if my schedule is free" and that was it. So i basically i got a yes at first which turned into an "ill let you know." I don't know if she's basically saying no, but oh well at least I went for it!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I call the second day. No need to wait longer if she's high IL and I only have time for high IL girls.
Don't make a big deal over one particular girl like what it sounds in your post. You will get more comfortable calling/texting girls to set up dates as you accumulate more experiences. Just do it.
Don't make a big deal over one particular girl like what it sounds in your post. You will get more comfortable calling/texting girls to set up dates as you accumulate more experiences. Just do it.