When to be stoic and when to lose your $hit...

[2Rocky]

Part of being respected by the people you work with is standing up for yourself. I've always felt like I usually have a Quiet Power that lets people know - "Don't push me...". Until that colleague comes along who tries to AMOG me. CLients and salesmen who don't know me that well back down easily ...but Coworkers I've been around for 20 plus years push it....

I'm trying to find that balance between simply saying "NO. That is not how this is going to go" , and the full nuclear "Hell NO you SOB!"

What are the Rules of Engagement before DefCon 4?

 

[Kotaix]

I've gone nuclear on coworkers before, and I'm normally so level-headed that other coworkers at the time refused to believe what they were told until I confirmed it. It ended up being because the guy was a first-class brown nose and thought he could get away with saying anything he wanted.

I've even told supervisors to fvck off before because I knew they were abusing their position to treat me like sh!t because they didn't like me.

One of the big things to think about isn't when, but how to lose your sh!t. As long as you don't get insulting then you'll be in the right if someone pushes you too far. I never heard a peep from management for the few times I've blown up at people.

Some people don't understand anything but a good "go fvck yourself". Some people won't respect you until you tell them this.

 

[BMX]

I've gone nuclear on coworkers before, and I'm normally so level-headed that other coworkers at the time refused to believe what they were told until I confirmed it. It ended up being because the guy was a first-class brown nose and thought he could get away with saying anything he wanted.

I've even told supervisors to fvck off before because I knew they were abusing their position to treat me like sh!t because they didn't like me.

One of the big things to think about isn't when, but how to lose your sh!t. As long as you don't get insulting then you'll be in the right if someone pushes you too far. I never heard a peep from management for the few times I've blown up at people.

Some people don't understand anything but a good "go fvck yourself". Some people won't respect you until you tell them this.

Agreed. I told my bigot E-9 master chief, who I refer to as master cuck to go fvck himself on a few occasions when I was still on active duty. Most won't. If you can't call a spade a spade as an E-5, then your soft #ss isn't going to do it as an E-6 or worse...E-7. But now that all branches have been infiltrated by big asian nation sympathizers, I bailed out completely

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Whoever makes the company the most money is the most free to talk ****, you fall on a spectrum of how much money you make the company vs. The **** you talk, most people who don't make the company anything talk the most **** and vice versa.

In my experience HR RARELY gets involved in disputes in sales, they seem to just stay out, idk if it's because we're contractors not employees or what

 

[metalwater]

Whoever makes the company the most money is the most free to talk ****, you fall on a spectrum of how much money you make the company vs. The **** you talk, most people who don't make the company anything talk the most **** and vice versa.

In my experience HR RARELY gets involved in disputes in sales, they seem to just stay out, idk if it's because we're contractors not employees or what

not just sales, it is across the board. Talent usually is king.

 

[Chamber36]

Part of being respected by the people you work with is standing up for yourself. I've always felt like I usually have a Quiet Power that lets people know - "Don't push me...". Until that colleague comes along who tries to AMOG me. CLients and salesmen who don't know me that well back down easily ...but Coworkers I've been around for 20 plus years push it....

I'm trying to find that balance between simply saying "NO. That is not how this is going to go" , and the full nuclear "Hell NO you SOB!"

What are the Rules of Engagement before DefCon 4?

I have the same issue at times. Honestly speaking I am generally calm and observant of others because I thought (wrongfully) that other people were as rational as I was. I learned (again) recently that most people are not only driven by their animal instincts but also in it for themselves. They dont have a collaborative mindset, they have a competitive mindset. Conclusion: as arrogant as it may sound it may serve you well to regard these people as utterly subhuman, although the label of organic egocentric automaton may be more fitting. These people aren't usually really people, they are functioning as what the psychologists called complexes. At one time one complex is functioning, at another time another. Rarely are these people integrated. Therefore I have decided to make all personal boundaries abundantly clear to all others. Inherent with this boundary system is that I dont cross others' boundaries either. I respect others from a distance and will not expect anything else from anyone else either. This is also why people are often surprised when I actually enforce a boundary because they don't often see me argue. According to the location I will leave or tell the other person to leave but seeing as it's a work situation you will have to stand your ground depending on if you are in the right. The truth, honesty and transparency and clarity are the aim in such a situation. I Advise you not to raise your voice but to look out for manipulation tactics like gaslighting and word salads. If you can't reason with them, don't bother trying to figure out what makes them tick. They probably don't even know themselves.

If the advice above doesn't work, go ahead and lose your shi*. Will probably help. In the end we are all slightly evolved chimps.

 

[EverSure75]

I let my animal show itself once in a while. I known as a pretty even keeled guy, so losing my cool surprises people.

I can’t confirm how true this is but there are some biblical scholars who argue that “the meek shall inherit the earth” is taken out of context. They claim that meek means “he who keeps his sword sheathed” as in one who is capable of causing severe damage but chooses not to. I think losing your cool on rare occasion cements this in people’s view of you.

 

[Chamber36]

You have to target a third person and make an example out of them to demonstrate what you're capable of. Does not need to be cruel or direct, just a comment or two.

 

[ubercat]

Better to shock, divert or go higher on their frame. Best to lead them back to a collaborative frame. Best of all if you can do that in a calm matter of fact way.