When they love but you dont

[bishopdonjuan]

When should I cut girls loose that are falling in love with me, even if I have no intention of actually getting serious with them. I'm not really decieving them, but we just have two different agendas, my agenda gets me what I want, but retroactively makes her feel much stronger feelings towards me than I have for her. And I'm not a heartless bastard, so I certainly don't want to lead them on and it's not that i don't wanna still chill with them, but I know we have no possibility of moving forward...should I cut it ASAP, or see how it plays out, and perhaps get surprised into falling for her too...which I doubt?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by bishopdonjuan
When should I cut girls loose that are falling in love with me, even if I have no intention of actually getting serious with them. I'm not really decieving them, but we just have two different agendas, my agenda gets me what I want, but retroactively makes her feel much stronger feelings towards me than I have for her. And I'm not a heartless bastard, so I certainly don't want to lead them on and it's not that i don't wanna still chill with them, but I know we have no possibility of moving forward...should I cut it ASAP, or see how it plays out, and perhaps get surprised into falling for her too...which I doubt?

You say that you aren't really deceiving them. Either you are or you aren't. That's your call, not mine.

However, keep in mind that you have nothing to do with THEIR intentions. If they feel that they can win you over and change your mind, that's their call. Who knows, they may get lucky. If they choose to keep betting on a loosing dog, that's their call too.

As long as you aren't promising anything that you don't intend on keeping, you should be fine. Women do it all the time without promising anything. AFCs usually read into their actions with the hopes of something happening. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

[JohnJones]

Are you doing/saying anything that objectively indicates that you will give her more than what you intend? Probably not.

For me, as long as the girl doesn't clearly have greater intentions/longer term views than me, I have no need to have a talk with her.

Besides, no matter how hard I think she's on the ropes, they can always surprise you. If I have to take that risk, she should be old enough to also.

 

[bishopdonjuan]

Good advice. So i guess I'll just continue going with the flow, cause I certainly am not promising anything more than I'm willing to give, its just them pushing the same way many of us have pushed before only to be hurt. So its all fair game then... though i always think i should warn them when i notice them getting much closer than I ever will...but as you said love is a gamble and she's taking one.