When the girl you like suffers a loss

[Anteros]

The girl I've been trying to date as of late was all set to have a date with me, but last week her cousin passed away in an accident and she's having a rough time. I'm away from my city due to work, and not coming back home till another week.

I wonder what to do in this situations. What to do when the women you like suffers a loss like this, what could be a good course of action?

 

[Anteros]

Any help?

 

[SmooveMooves]

Hey man this is a touchy topic and hard to give advice for.

I ran into this situation a ton, and honestly, it just depends on the girl and how psychologically strong she is.

The best you can do is give her your condolences and let her know your there as a shoulder to cry on. but that's pretty much it all you can do.

Pushing for a date or a meetup is off limits-

Some girls are messed up for a week or two and get back to pushing...

Some girls totally breakdown.

Then you'll just have to move on bro.

Good Luck man.

 

[El Payaso]

Offer your condolences and tell her if she wants to talk, that you're here for her.

In the meantime, actively pursue other prospects until she fully gets over her loss. Don't push anything on her especially if the death was really personal. When she's ready, you'll know.

 

[apprenticedj]

I'm actually going through a similiar thing right now with a chick.

As others posters have said all you can do is offer your sympathy, support and most important give her space to grieve with her family.

Since you don't want to put ANY pressure on her I would say you should spin plates and let her come back around naturally when she's ready.

Reach out and touch base to check in occasionally but don't be pushy at all. It's a tough one for sure.

 

[Anteros]

Yeah, my defacto answer to this situation is to give her space. Last time I call her like I didn't knew and she told me she was on her hometown due to this. I kept it short and told her I was sorry and my condolences. She agreed this was hard but she was a little better due to her family being around. Told her to enjoy the time with her family and that I see her later. She responded with thanks and a "see you soon".


I'll wait at least until next week I guess, since this kind of stuff it's off limits.

 

[asa_don]

just keep in touch with her, see how's shes doing, if you do get a date, do something that is light but fun, get her mind off things, like bowling, shooting pool etc, dont go asking her for dates next week or something, let her offer the date, you should have other girls you can go with in the meantime.

 

[Tictac]

Be there for her, keep in touch.

But make sure that you don't get paired with her tragedy in her head.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Be there for her, keep in touch.

But make sure that you don't get paired with her tragedy in her head.

I went through a very similar situation last year, and Tictac's right. HB I was crushing on lost her mother and was out of town for 3-4 weeks. I sent her a text to express my condolences and briefly touched base every week or week and a half. I did not want to do too much so she associated the tragedy and me.

Worked out, we dated for a short while before things sort of evaporated. HB and I are still on good terms (we work at the same company), and something like this might be why.

 

[Anteros]

Timing it's a pain. One time I was dating a girl that I liked a lot. She lost her father, and after I gave her space for like a month, someone else made a move. It's just.. so odd. It's hard to know the balance between too much space and just not being so "careles".

Thanks for your responses, guys. I helps a lot!