Last week, I walked into this store (very well dressed) and I spotted a worker I had been infatuated with for almost two months now. When she saw me, she disappeared as soon as I turned my head. I'm not sure if she still works there or if she was just visiting, but seeing her again got my interest revitalized when I almost forgot about her. Now I'm not a stalker, mind you, but I do want a chance to talk to this girl but I'm rarely given the opportunity. Her disappearing act was probably a sign of disinterest but the challenge makes her all the more desirable. Meanwhile, I get checked out by other girls on a consistent basis but none of them compare (even the hot ones). I know this is AFC but can someone please help me win this one girl over.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
When the girl vanishes
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SexPDX
Master Don Juan
It wasn't necessarily a sign of disinterest. She might just be shy. You'd be surprised how shy girls can be, even hot ones.
Dude, you been here a LOOONNG time. This is bodering on trolling. You know what you got to do here.
-PDX
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
SexPDX
Master Don Juan
Hey, you're only a SENIOR Don Juan! Don't get too big for your britches just yet. LOL!!!! Just kidding, buddy.
Anyway, it you are not just trolling and despite having been here probably longer than me you STILL don't know what to do..uhhhhh...talk to her, convey whatever personality you are capable of at this stage in the game, ask her out....I'm just brainstorming here, I don't know the situation and you haven't given me much to go off of.
Don't try to do too much here, anything's better than nothing. And don't blow this out of proportion in terms of importance (that is to say, don't attatch too much to the outcome).
-PDX
Glad to see you posting some Nick. The place desperately needs more of the old timers to come back and straighten stuff out. I was thinking about your a$$ wiping thread earlier today for some reason and got to laughing. Okay...I'm leaving this thread now before I derail it. Just wanted to say it's nice to "see" ya back. I'd like to see Cyclo, Mr. Paki, Drew and some of the others stop in too.
My problem is that I'm not getting the opportunity because I don't know her work schedule. I don't want to go in there every day just to find her. Too stalkerish. I did leave a male worker my phone number that day to give to her but he wasn't sure who I was talking about. I did my best to describe her and left it at that. I didn't like this strategy (I prefer to act in person) but I felt it was the only thing I could do at this point. Any other ideas?
Disconnect
Master Don Juan
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You left her your phone number... do you really think she'll call? I haven't been here as long as you have, but just imagine yourself in her position. You come to work one day and find a random guy's phone number on your desk. Will you call? I sure as hell wouldn't.
What I would do is wait. She couldn't disappear forever. She has a job to do, and unless she wants to get fired, she ll have to do it despite your presence
. So wait around next time she disappears. Walk around the store, browse your favorite section or whatever, and look at any partially open doors or glass windows. Chances are if she disappeared because of you, she's watching you from someplace concealed.
What I would do is wait. She couldn't disappear forever. She has a job to do, and unless she wants to get fired, she ll have to do it despite your presence
. So wait around next time she disappears. Walk around the store, browse your favorite section or whatever, and look at any partially open doors or glass windows. Chances are if she disappeared because of you, she's watching you from someplace concealed.SexPDX
Master Don Juan
Clearly, your options are limitted for exactly the reasons you say. You, however, have compounded the problem by not taking action one of the myriad of other times you saw her in the past.
Dude, what you ended up doing is just as arrousing of suspicion and weirdness as what you did NOT want to do.
Also, it's a safe bet that the dude you gave your number to is NOT going to sing your praises to her and act as some sort of DJ by proxy for your agenda. He probably knows damn well who you are talking about and and wants her himself!
I don't think it matters much what you do at this point. Continue with it if you like ONLY if you are able to attatch NOTHING to the outcome.
Go meet some other women.
-PDX
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Thanks for the advice. I think I'll stop by the store a couple of times next week at around the same time. Hopefully, I'll find her and when I do, I'm not leaving without either her phone number or a rejection. Peace.
SexPDX
Master Don Juan
Don't get too used to it. I have WAY too much on my plate these days to get sucked back into interminable preoccupation with women. But I will continue be in here occassionally I am sure.
Good to "see" you too.
-PDX