"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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When the Gina stops tingling

Yo'Mama

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Ok there are women I've been in love/lust with who I have then, for whatever reason, become apathetic towards. I like to think that in spite of this I have continued to treat them decently.

However recent experience suggests to me that when women lose the 'tingle' they are capable of turning into the coldest, most sadistic creatures out there.

It's shocking to witness the change. Someone who has spent many a night in your arms telling you how much they love you transformed into some ice b*tch from hell.

It's like for most of them what they call 'love' isn't anything of the sort, in terms a of true love for a person with all their virtues and faults. They're just referring to the way you make THEM feel. As soon as you stop making them feel like that, you're worthless in their eyes.

Anyone else experienced this?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Yo'Mama

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Pdx,

Heh! Interesting. It really makes me feel that in the vast majority of cases, the person telling you they 'love' you is just talking BS. They're just saying they love that you make their gina tingle. Or, where they want to settle down with you, they're saying they love the lifestyle they think you will provide for them.

Man, I'm getting cynical.
 

PapiChulo

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I can't stand it too. Somehow i treat my enemies better that the women turned cold treat me.
 

Yo'Mama

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Papi

It's so bad. Honestly I can't believe how totally cold, almost sadistic they can be.

This is making me really cynical. Now I know women can be like this when they 'fall out of love', how is it possible to take them at all seriously when they're trying to hug you and tell you they love you?

They're too capricious.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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floydb25

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Yeah... They're not actually changing into anything though. This is how they treat people they're not interested in. What happens is, once the infatuation wears off, or they lose interest - they treat you the same way.

That's why I have learned to watch how they treat those they don't care about. That's exactly how they're going to treat you once the butterflies are gone, they become comfortable, have enough control, etc.

Remember: them finding you attractive doesn't change who they are. They only act nice for those they want - until they catch them. Watch how they treat EVERYONE.

EDIT: Didn't mean to use the smiley face above. Stupid phone...
 

jafyk

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Yo'Mama as the posters before me have said. Everyman has had this kind of experience. This reminds me of one of the four noble truths the buddhists have "Attachment is the source of all suffering".
Personally, I find that the best way to deal with women is to live in the present, play by your own rules and try to be fair. A woman who once told me not to fall in love with her eventually started telling me how she loved me etc of all the women I had dated I'd say she treated me the best. Yet in the end she told me to forget anything ever happened between us.
It's also funny how a woman would pretend to like something you like (example soccer) just cos they are in a relationship with you. Yet the day it's over you'd never see them around another soccer field.
All the same Floyd has a point. So, with this knowledge in mind when a woman suddenly turns cold you deal with the change and move on because it's no longer a surprise.
 

Yo'Mama

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Thanks guys, it seems this is a common experience. It's just hard to understand because I work so differently. If there were things I liked or respected in a person I don't forget them just because we aren't together any more or the relationship didn't work out. That's why I find it difficult to make clean breaks.
 

floydb25

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Yo'Mama said:
Thanks guys, it seems this is a common experience. It's just hard to understand because I work so differently. If there were things I liked or respected in a person I don't forget them just because we aren't together any more or the relationship didn't work out. That's why I find it difficult to make clean breaks.
Yeah, but you can't think in terms of everyone being just like you. Just because you don't treat people like they're inferior - doesn't mean other people won't. This is especially true if they're snobby, conceited, and so forth. Everyone is who they are. Don't analyze why - just accept it, and march forward.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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bigneil

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Yo'Mama said:
It's shocking to witness the change. Anyone else experienced this?
I'm experiencing it now but in reverse. My gf is so clingy it's driving me crazy. It's human nature to be repelled by things that are too available.

You're probably being too clingy yourself.
 
P

perseverance

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Yo'Mama said:
However recent experience suggests to me that when women lose the 'tingle' they are capable of turning into the coldest, most sadistic creatures out there.

Anyone else experienced this?
That's just a woman's nature, women are naturally colder and more sadistic than men are from what I've seen. Have ever heard of the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

I usually find when a woman loses interest in you she'll act colder, more distant and at times will say some pretty harsh things to you. It's just her way of letting you know that she isn't interested and she'll try and force your hand into ditching her, so she can go running off playing the 'victim card' to her friends. Women aren't like men, they aren't straight talking individuals, they'll beat around the bush and hint at things and expect you to get the message. Women are a lot more callous, calulating and manipulative than men and that is what you see with certain women you date.

I'm pretty sure a fella on this forum posted that his girlfriend (at the time) phoned him up and made him listen to her having sex with another man. There's not many men I know who would do something like that to a woman...
 

bigneil

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"...act colder, more distant and at times will say some pretty harsh things to you. It's just (their) way of letting you know that (they aren't) interested and (they'll) try and force your hand into ditching (them)"

That's what happens to both men and women when they just aren't interested. It gets annoying if someone you don't care to hear from keeps contacting you.

It's a real problem when men play the victim by finding logical arguments why she SHOULD be interested in him. Sometimes people want to be interested but just aren't.
 

rhcp83

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It's not like we're innocent either though. I mean we're dating these girls first and foremost because we like the way they look. There are plenty of girls who would actually love us and not be fickle or capricious but we don't even notice them because they're physically unattractive to us.
 

nismo-4

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Ah, an open and shut case.

When this happens, the woman isn't interested in you anymore and has found another and more than likely better man than you.

Case closed.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SoSuaveDude

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women tend to disrespect you more in general when a break-up draws nigh. I absolutely hate how women seem to end all relationships nowadays, and they always lose interest eventually and move on, whether the new guy is more quality than you or not. I've seen some financially stable, great personality , fit guys get tossed by their gf for a loser beta. Sucks.
 

Yo'Mama

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nismo-4 said:
Ah, an open and shut case.

When this happens, the woman isn't interested in you anymore and has found another and more than likely better man than you.

Case closed.
Yeah like Lester the Pimp is a 'better' guy than Ace Rothstein in Casino. Well the Stone character thought so!

Judge, I'd like to make a motion that you're not fit to be hearing this case.
 

f283000

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When it comes to the ending of a relationship it's the woman THAT IS THE MAN.

They will ignore your texts, your calls, forget you even exist even if you had given her the time of her life for months or even years. That's how quickly a woman will erase you from her life the moment she loses attraction for you.

For guys it's a different story. They come begging on sosuave for help on how to get over their ex and end up joining the "no contact thread" ;)

It's due to the fact that for women a large if not most of their attraction for men is based on emotions. If you no longer make her feel "that way" if you no longer make the gina tingle she will drop you from her life. While our attraction is primarily based on looks. Unless she totally becomes fat overnight we'll still be attracted to her even if she behaves bad. It's the physical attraction, the secks that we crave and keeps us attracted to her.

like playersupreme says, treat a woman well, buy her roses, be nice to her, she will spit on your face. But if you break her heart she will love you and keep trying to get you back.
 

PapiChulo

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The best thing to do is to give them the same treatment, disappear, forget about them, move on.
 

Yo'Mama

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f283000 said:
When it comes to the ending of a relationship it's the woman THAT IS THE MAN.

They will ignore your texts, your calls, forget you even exist even if you had given her the time of her life for months or even years. That's how quickly a woman will erase you from her life the moment she loses attraction for you.

For guys it's a different story. They come begging on sosuave for help on how to get over their ex and end up joining the "no contact thread" ;)

It's due to the fact that for women a large if not most of their attraction for men is based on emotions. If you no longer make her feel "that way" if you no longer make the gina tingle she will drop you from her life. While our attraction is primarily based on looks. Unless she totally becomes fat overnight we'll still be attracted to her even if she behaves bad. It's the physical attraction, the secks that we crave and keeps us attracted to her.

like playersupreme says, treat a woman well, buy her roses, be nice to her, she will spit on your face. But if you break her heart she will love you and keep trying to get you back.
I see the logic but I would hope that at least some of us treat exes decently as long as they were fair to us, just because it's the decent thing to do. Agree that women don't seem to work like this.

Best thing to do is move on as Papi says.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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